Tripp Palin Would Make Perfect Chick-fil-A Spokesperson. And There’s a Same-Sex Kiss-In. Oh Heck, Make a Chicken Fritter Sammie at Home

Sarah Palin’s only grandson–the spawn of failing reality television arriviste Bristol Palin and fellow Wasillabilly fame-scrambler Levi Johnston–three-and-a half year old Tripp Palin called his Aunt Willow a word beginning with F  (either a usually pejorative term for gay men, from the English schoolboy slang for a younger boy who does errands for older students; or the Anglo-Saxon verb for copulation. A production exec who claims he was in the room and watching the video feed pre-bleep claims the latter). Tripp also says

I hate you.

A lot.

With his pedigree and language skills, the adorable, yet poorly disciplined tot would be the perfect replacement for the Muppets who have stepped away from their gig as Chick-fil-A spokespmodels in light of the corporate fowl fryer’s ‘tude. CEO Dan Cathy said:

But as an organization we can operate on biblical principles. So that is what we claim to be. [We are] based on biblical principles, asking God and pleading with God to give us wisdom on decisions we make about people and the programs and partnerships we have. And He has blessed us.”

(Jesus was never quoted in the Gospels as calling LGBT sinners, or defining how people should behave in the privacy of their bedrooms. Jesus overturned all the Old Testament rules–except the Ten Commandments, one could argue–allowing those who believe in him to wear blended fabrics, get tattoos and eat bacon. Paul, who came along after Jesus ascended to Heaven and never knew him, as those to whom Gospels are attributed did, is an interpreter and evangelical rather than a firsthand-ish reporter whose stories where compiled after the fact.)

Burt and Ernie’s pals are standing up for everyone, gay and straight, who is appalled by Chick-fil-A, and not just because of the utterly vile, sub-literate spelling of

filet.

While the word may sound like a sexualized pun rhyming with gay

fill-lay

spelling it

fil-A

is neither cute nor clever. Just stupid.

The company’s dumbing of America continues with their economic war on LGBT via the Chick-fil-A charitable arm WinShape (as if dining on Chick-fil-A  gives you a winning shape) donating close to $2million to anti-LGBT groups, beyond the marriage equality battles:

In 2009 alone, WinShape donated $1,733,699 to multiple anti-gay groups:

  • Marriage & Family Legacy Fund: $994,199
  • Fellowship Of Christian Athletes: $480,000
  • National Christian Foundation: $240,000
  • Focus On The Family: $12,500
  • Eagle Forum: $5,000
  • Exodus International: $1,000
  • Family Research Council: $1,000

[Winshape 2009 Publicly Available IRS 990 Form via Foundation Center, accessed 10/28/11]

Mike Huckabee–who has been beating his breast about the abuse  Chick-fil-A has suffered at the hands of the media and the Muppets while ignoring the loathing and lack of equality funded by the food chain–has declared August 1st “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day” and via Facebook his media onslaught is encouraging people to eat the cholesterol-dense, high-sodium, sugared, MSG-laden fast food. Because he loves America.

There’s also a push to make August 3 National Same-Sex Kiss-In Day at Chick-fil-A, which has some pros and cons. First of all, same sex couples would have to go inside a Chick-fil-A. And all us straight people can do is either find a willing co-kisser, enter a Chick-fil-A to applaud the kiss-in, or keep boycotting some place where we’d never eat anyway.

And if you’ve been wondering what you might be missing by never sampling a gay-hating, heart and soul destroying fast food sammich, here are two chemical-free versions you can try at home,  very gay friendly. But still fried after being battered with  sugar and salt. Part of me thinks natural ice cream might be healthier.

Palin’s Hair Salon Gets Reality ‘Do

The hairstyle that launched a thousand comedy sketches is getting its due. Or at least the designers of said up-sweep are. The Beehive Beauty Shop in Wasilla, owned by Palin fan/local glam squad-cheerleader Jessica Steel, is the focus of a two-part reality show, Big Hair Alaska on TLC, the same channel that brought us Sarah Palin’s Alaska. (No word yet who is producing; Palin was the executive producer for three episodes of  her own reality show, with Survivor producer Mark Burnetr responsible for the whole run.)

Ah, the possible drama if Levi Johnston comes in for a trim! And even now on their Facebook page there’s  TLC-level excitement: The shop just got in new feathers (for that ghastly trend of feather weaves) and were too busy to answer the phone so someone couldn’t make an appointment!  What if Willow wants to get a platinum blonde mohawk behind her mom’s back?  The yet-to-be filmed show already has its own FB page.

The press release describes the show as going

inside a busy hair salon in Wasilla, Alaska, where the personalities of the owner and her staff are as big as the hairstyles they create.

The Beehive’s Facebook page has several ecstatic mentions about the production, and really, good for them. With Mad Men returning to cable and upcoming network shows like Pan Am and The Playboy Club, retro-dos are all the rage, and supporting small local businesses is important in this economy.

Let’s just hope they weren’t responsible for this:

Late Night: Exclusive! First Celebrity Backscatter Scan! And Willow Drops the Fa***t Bomb on Facebook

It was only a matter of time before some celebrity’s Naked Airport Machine scan was saved by TSA and uh sent to the media, in this case me.  Guess which star is below the fold!

(more…)


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