The Pentagon spends a lot of money on stuff that sucks–like bombs and drones. And drones with bombs. But seriously, spending $70 billion (yes, that’s with a B!) per Mother Jones on stuff like US Air Force

research on whether men were perceived as taller when they were holding a pistol than if they were simply wielding a caulk gun, paint brush or a power drill. Answer: Yes.

And something that already exists:

A smart phone ap designed to “help people manage their caffeine consumption to suit their lifestyles.”

And this really disgusting concept:

The Department of Defense spent $1.5 million to develop a new twist on beef jerky. The savory snack is designed to be more like a “fruit roll-up” than a Slim Jim, and to double as a sandwich filling if necessary….the jerky industry is thriving without the help of taxpayer dollars.

The creepiest:

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has spent more than $1 million to “foster a rebirth of wonder” and to make space travel to other solar systems feasible in the next century. To that end, the agency paid $100,000 to sponsor a strategy workshop in September featuring a session called “Did Jesus die for Klingons, too?” on the theological threat to Christianity that the discovery of life on other planets might pose.

Which kinda crosses the line, since well, it presumes that Christianity should be the prevailing religion in the military.  For good measure, you tax dollars also went to sponsor

A related conference devoted to the future of space travel included a workshop on “what intersteller explorers might wear.” (Hint: Not polos and khakis.) The event featured an “intergalatic gala” for which attendees were asked to come in “starship cocktail attire.”

Oh gods, imgaine Paula Broadwell in this!