Late Night: The Cosmos Is Unstable, Professor Over-Proves

 


 
Guess what? The cosmos, like Victoria Jackson and life itself, is probably inherently unstable. Most of us probably already know that instinctively without needing the Large Hadron Collider to prove it.

I once had a teacher in high school, Jim Hosney, who wanted to teach a course in existentialism where there would be no rhyme or reason as to why people got the which grades that day. That concept might not have gone over real well at an all-girl prep school where eating disorders and substance abuse seemed to be part of the curriculum.

Hosney was a brilliant and challenging social history teacher who showed us films like The Beguiled, Weekend, and The Devils. Hosney’s methods thankfully had nothing on this professor of quantum mechanics, apparently a frustrated (and very bad) performance artist, who began his lecture by saying:

in order to learn quantum mechanics, you have to strip to your raw, erase all the garbage from your brain and start over again. … Everything you do in your everyday life is totally opposite of what you are going to learn in quantum mechanics.

 

 

A science professor at Columbia University on Monday began a quantum mechanics lecture by stripping into his boxers and eating a banana while rap music played in the background….The professor, Emlyn Hughes, proceeded to redress himself in black, complete with sunglasses, and hug himself on stage at the front of the classroom, a large theater.

As Hughes sat in the fetal position, two “actors” dressed in ninja costumes walked onstage and placed white stuffed animals – lambs – on stools before the audience, according to a student-recorded video of the incident posted on Vimeo.com by “Bwog,” a campus news website run by Columbia students.

The ninjas blindfolded the lambs, then a ninja impaled one of the stuffed animals with a long sword and banged it against the stool – right as an image of a plane hitting one of the Twin Towers on 9/11 started rolling on a large screen behind the performance…

After the lamb’s grisly “death” and the images of 9/11, the footage turned into a montage that included clips of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and Hitler – as well as numerous shots of war images – tanks rolling, bombs exploding, people hanging upside-down, troops marching, and the like.

 
Weekend, Jean-Luc Goddard:

The Beguiled:

The Devils:

Stereotypes Begin Somewhere: Meet the Lingerie Model Who’s Voting for Mitt

 

Meet Trisha Patyas, lingerie model, self-proclaimed tanorexic, frequent reality show participant,  and

aspiring entrepreneur…er girl.

A few years ago, Trisha appeared on Tyra Banks’ talk show as a girl who gets her hair extensions removed. She was also featured on Millionaire Matchmaker as herself, America’s Got Talent as herself, Who Wants to Date a Comedian as herself; and for a tragic quick fame fix, on Judge Alex as herself, in a tussle of over paying her sister for hair dressing services. There are lots of YouTube videos of Trish as herself, talking about herself–and the products she buys and enjoys. She also has a blog where she writes about herself–and the products she buys and enjoys.

A Mitt Romney supporter who seems to be vying for Victoria Jackson’s seat on the  conservative fame whore crazy train, Trisha, a Catholic, wants everyone to know that she’s voting for Mitt

even though he’s not even Christian–he’s a Mormon

But he’s  super hot and gorgeous,

and we haven’t had a hot president since Kennedy, and we all know how that ended.

And because she has a kitten named Mittens who she calls Mitts.

So yay!  That’s like, a sign, right? And Mitt rhymes with tit! Just kidding! And I have two of those! No, that’s not the reason why I’m voting for him.

But she does think Mitt has a good running mate,

Ryan…It’s Ryan something, but I can’t remember,

unlike Sarah Palin who Trisha didn’t like, and who Trish feels cost McCain the election. Speaking of women, Trisha  reminds us that

All those who are saying like Republicans don’t like women, or whatever, well like, they are married to them. Whatever.

And while she admits she could

use some free Obamacare or whatever he’s pitching out there, I can’t vote for him, because he gonna take away my right to be a Catholic which he basically already has, and it’s turning into a tyranny, like socialism, like Mexico in the 1940s.

Best of all: Trisha is unsure if it was Ronald Reagan or Al Gore who promoted the

kinda liberal

“Vote or Die” slogan. (Neither. The slogan came out of Citizen Change, founded by P. Diddy in 2004, when John Kerry was the Democratic candidate running against George W. Bush). Ronald Reagan or Al Gore: Kinda liberal. You can’t make this stuff up!

Her video will make you weep for America. And throw up a little in your mouth. Don’t watch it while enjoying a beverage or you’ll spray the computer.

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Late Night: Celebrity Stupidity

Barely-celeb former SNL cast member Victoria Jackson–who became a Christian stand-up comic, Tea-Party speaker (oh that voice which launched a thousand ships–in the opposite direction!), and inadvertent laughing stock when she ranted about Obama being a granny killer and called POTUS a Communist (you know someone’s an idiot when Fox’s Steve Doocy has to correct her)–wrote a bunch of homophobic remarks about Glee and then tried to Bible-lize her way out them on Showbiz Tonight:

Well, it doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is what the Bible says. And I’m really concerned about our country because immorality is, well, let’s see, secular humanism rules the airwaves, and it’s stealing the innocence away from this whole generation of children. My daughter is a teenager and I can’t find any show that she can watch…

For the uninitiated, Victoria also explains the term “homophobic”:

That’s a cute little buzzword of the liberal agenda. Basically, the Bible says  homosexuality is a sin. But is has also gossip is listed in the same paragraph as equal sin [sic, wtf? sic facepalm,jpg].

So if gossip is a sin, why is she on a gossip show? (BTW, she is referring to Romans 1, though the word is “gossips” as a plural noun, rather than as a verb). Anyway, back to her nutty rant:

They should have a celibacy campaign and tell kids that 50% of teenagers now have this new STD from oral sex, that’s what they should being doing  doing instead of making kids gay. I just want to know why the liberals are pro-Muslim and pro-gays. Muslims kill gays. That’s what’s confusing to me. And the only thing I can come up with is the Muslims hate God and the gays hate his word.

Wow, is she dum or whut? Muslims love God, they just call God “Allah” because they speak a different language. Like the French who call God “Dieu” or the Spanish who use “Dios.” It’s not a different God, just a different language, and some minor variations in theological concepts.

More stupidity from Jackson: Fifty percent of teenagers have an oral STD? No, according to the latest study, 51% of teens surveyed said they had oral sex before their first experience with intercourse. And there’s nothing new about HPV (Human papillomavirus).

Best part of the video: Jackson shouting at the end that she has gay friends.

And in other low-level celebrity moron news, arch-huntress Sarah Palin has long touted the benefits of eating fresh killed, wholesome game meats. And goodness knows, game can be tasty, but maybe Ted Nugent hasn’t been cleaning it correctly, because he seems to be suffering from lead poisoning. Check out his editorial in the Washington Times:

Africa isn’t called the Dark Continent for no reason. Africa has forever been a political nightmare full of overt corruption, tribal warfare, genocide, murderous regimes and brutal dictators…

There is no country in Africa that truly respects freedom or the rule of law. The majority of countries in Africa are in economic ruin because of political corruption and a history ugly with cruel despotism. That’s why starvation and disease are rampant. AIDS is projected to kill as much as half the populations of some countries. Genocide is a way of life. There is little light in Africa…

Africa is an international scab. Bono of the band U2 advocates that if we forgive debt African nations owe, peace and tranquillity [sic] will sprout up mystically. The real problem is murdering, corrupt thugs and punks like Col. Gadhafi. Once we swat one of these African cockroaches or intervene in their civil war, where do we stop?

Uh, somehow I don’t think African nations started out corrupt and despotic. See, there was this thing called colonialism…

Side note: debt forgiveness is one part of helping the nations of Africa and so is HIV/AIDS care. With that in mind, and this being the 30th year of the scourge of HIV/AIDS, we’re featuring The Lazarus Effect here on Movie Night, Monday April 18. Produced by Join (RED), an organization Bono founded to provide HIV/AIDS care in Africa, The Lazarus Effect is  also airing on HBO April 15th.

Who else has been really idiotic this week?


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