Obama Better Able to Handle Space Aliens Than Romney, Say Majority of Americans

Nearly two-thirds of Americans surveyed by National Geographic TV think that President Barack Obama would be better able to handle an alien invasion (oh noes, watch out for the 4th or 5th Marcab Invader Fleet!) than putative Republican nominee Mitt Romney.

More than two in three (68%) women say that Obama would be more adept at dealing with an alien invasion than Romney, vs. 61 percent of men. And more younger citizens, ages 18 to 64 years, than those aged 65+ (68% vs. 50%) think Romney would not be as well-suited as Obama to handle an alien invasion.

(No word as to which candidate would be more effective during a zombie apocalypse.)

We’ll just have to wait and see who The Alien endorses in Weekly World News. In 2008 he floofed his goof, backing John McCain, the first time his favored candidate lost.

Florida is NUTS! Bestiality IN, Fake Testicles OUT!

vintage postcard: riptheskull/creative commons

Gosh Florida just keeps getting zanier. Sure, along with being God’s Waiting Room, a theme-park megalopolis and the world headquarters of a goofy space alien religion, the state is also the home of holy homophobic hypocrite George “Rentboys” Rekers–and last week the state legislature declined to ban bestiality.

But today the wacky state of Eff-El-Lay just got way nuttier when the State Senate voted to ban “Truck Nutz,” decorative testicles that dangle from trailer hitches on cars and trucks from Tallahasse to the Keys. And the ban may cause a seminal rift in the state’s Republican Party which was already somewhat castrated by Charlie Crist’s anticlimactic departure.

Calling the dangling adornments offensive, Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida led the no-balls brigade, while fellow GOP member Senate Rules Chairman Jim King would like to see the proposal sacked. King bagged on the measure and other Republicans also said bollocks to nanny state interference in vehicle decoration. While the measure got hung onto a broader transportation bill in the Senate, testicles are not attached to the House version.


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