Hell hath no fury like a sketch comedy show shunned. In his leaked fund-raising video, Mitt Romney told his supporters why he wouldn’t appear on the Saturday Night Live:

And– and there’s– I was asked to go on Saturday Night Live.  I– I did not do that in part because you– you wanna show that you’re fun and you’re a good person, but you don’t wanna– you– you also wanna be presidential.  And Saturday Night Live has the potential of– of looking slapstick and not– and not presidential.

Now NBC has released a sketch from SNL skewering Rmoney’s leaked video, featuring Jason Sudekis as the candidate, that paints Mittens as racist, out of touch, and hating the poor in a series of secretly recorded videos airing on Fox and Friends.

For good measure, SNL goofs on “Fox and Friends” Along with satirizing the hosts’ gig as Rmoney apologists, a series of fact checker corrections scroll at the end of the segment, including:

A wind turbine has never cut off the head of a pretty girl in a convertible…The Negro League is not ‘back and better than ever.’

HT: The Wrap

Mitt Romney’s (wife’s) dancing horsey Rafalca flubbed her Olympic performance, but hay hey the old gal could still be a money maker for Rmoney–and not by being retired to the glue factory or turned into a breed mare. How about a whole line of Rafalca latex wear for seksy time?! Pony play is big in the fetish community, here’s a way for Mitt to create jobs by creating the Rafalca line of latex and leather goods–and improve couples’ (straight, married only ’cause that’s how Mitt rides) love lives!

The window exhibit at our local Silver Lake BDSM boutique Stockroom features what to me is definitely a Rafalca-inspired installation. They also stock a complete line of pony play items, including harnesses, bits, latex hooves, horse hair tails (use your imagination for how those are held in place) as well as machines which simulate bareback riding. ‘Nuff said, and NSFW.

Speaking of horseback riding, maybe Mitt could figure out a way to import these awesome exercise devices to the U.S. of A (or better yet, have them manufactured here!), and then put Ann and Rafalca’s horse team in a very tasteful infomercial for a horseback riding exercise device, explaining how fun and good for the thighs, back and core muscles horseback riding is. Kinda like Cindy Crawford advertising Relentless Beauty or whatever that French face goo from melons is called.

photo 1: Cindy Schwarzstein

photo 2: Lisa Derrick

Ann Romney’s pretty pony Rafalca managed to waltz her way into the freestyle dressage competition, earning the 18th and final spot in Thursday, August 9′s freestyle dressage.

While Rafalca’s rider, Jan Ebling, and the fancy horse finished 30th overall in the individual dressage on Friday August 1, and 13th on in the earlier competition the day before,  they will be part of the Grand Prix team competition on Tuesday, August 7.

Pundit William Kristol speculated that Rafalca has delayed Mitt Rmoney’s picking of a vice-presidential running mate; Stephen Colbert dangled the idea that Rmoney might pick Rafalca for the VP spot.

Hey, it worked for Caligula and Incitatus.

Photo: Screenshot from Colbert Report

Nearly two-thirds of Americans surveyed by National Geographic TV think that President Barack Obama would be better able to handle an alien invasion (oh noes, watch out for the 4th or 5th Marcab Invader Fleet!) than putative Republican nominee Mitt Romney.

More than two in three (68%) women say that Obama would be more adept at dealing with an alien invasion than Romney, vs. 61 percent of men. And more younger citizens, ages 18 to 64 years, than those aged 65+ (68% vs. 50%) think Romney would not be as well-suited as Obama to handle an alien invasion.

(No word as to which candidate would be more effective during a zombie apocalypse.)

We’ll just have to wait and see who The Alien endorses in Weekly World News. In 2008 he floofed his goof, backing John McCain, the first time his favored candidate lost.

Actor Bruce Willis, a longtime Republican who supported Bush against Clinton, called Mitt Romney

just such a disappointment, an embarrassment.

In an interview with Esquire, the action star goes on to describe his issues with Rmoney:

Chin up, hair up. He’s just one of those guys, one of those guys who says he’s going to change everything. And he’ll get in there, and they’ll smile at him and introduce themselves: ‘We’re Congress, we make sure nothing changes.’ He won’t do it. He can’t. Everybody wants to be Barack Obama. And what did he change?

Willis says he doesn’t think Rmoney will win the election and furthermore, he

doesn’t care.

Okay, if this happens, it would be so utterly whack >9000: Mitt Romney hosting Saturday Night Live.

Lorne Michaels, the venerable show’s venerable producer has reportedly offered the GOP candidate with the most delegates a chance to host SNL. And Willard Mittens Rmoney is said to be considering it. If he does, he’ll be the first presidential candidate since 1996 to host, though since 2000 all candidates have appeared on the New York-based show show. The last presidential candidate to host was Steve Forbes, and we all know what happened there.

Imagine the hilarity ensuing as skits feature proxy baptism, polygamy, Ann’s job riding an Austrian Warmblood, and of course the dog on the roof. Hey, maybe they could make him play a gay character. Mitt’s wooden delivery and weak, feeble attempts at humor could make his foray into funny unintentionally spit-take worthy.