Rick Perry Voodoo Dolls: This Witch Says “Banish Them!”

I am a practicing witch, and I can laugh at my belief system; I do easily and often. It is just as goofy sounding as other people’s (Transubstantiation? Space lice from exploding volcanoes? Flying donkey?). But I do cringe at things like these Rick Perry voodoo dolls because they perpetuate dangerous, off-base stereotypes and do nothing to help either pro-choice factions or non-Christians.

When it comes to the Texas Legislature and Governor Rick Perry’s plans to shut down Texas abortion clinics [corset maker Michelle Sinched of Mr. Sinched] is the exact opposite of amused. Now she’s taking the fight to the man she calls “Governor Goodhair” in her own way; with voodoo dolls of the Governor complete with tampon pins to act out your anger and or hexes upon his person…

Each Perry voodoo doll is handmade by Sinched from materials left over from her many other projects. You can purchase a casual Perry doll in a anti-abortion coat hanger T-shirt for $25, or a suited version for $30. They are also available as a pair for $50, and each comes with a blank sign so you may write the pro-life slogan or Perry gaffe of your choice. The clothes are removable.

Sinched plans to give all profits to Planned Parenthood.

Earlier this month at an Austin, Texas  rally

the prolife side sang Amazing Grace. The pro-abortion side tried to drown them out by shouting “Hail Satan!”

Now granted those leading the chant might have been agitators. Or they might have been anti-Christian pro-choicers. Still, yuck.

Fundamentalists view the battle against abortion as a holy war, a Crusade. Those who are pro-choice have a variety of reasons for wanting abortion rights and access to birth control. Despite what the creepier areas of the interwebs would like to make you believe, very few, if any, of those reasons have to do with sacrificing babies to some dark force which would then uh make things worse than they already are. Here’s where the theology gets complicated and stops making sense. But basically, for fundies abortion– followed closely by The Gays–is the reason everything is wrong in America.

Fundamentalists want to make abortion about religion, about theocratic control of the individual. By countering with voodoo dolls and chants of

Hail Satan

pro-choicers are just playing into their hands.

Rick Perry Gets Taste of Menstrual Blood on His Facebook

Texas governor Rick Perry’s Facebook page, tragically entitled Give Rick a Chance, is getting menstrual bombed, as dozens of women share their stories and ask his advice about PMS, birth control pills, hormone replacement and reproduction. Meanwhile, some supportive men have gotten in on the discussion.

Here are a few of the gems before his staff scrubs them. Feel free to join in before his staff blocks comments!

 

130,000+ Dislikes: Rick Perry’s Campaign Fails at teh Internets

 

Rick Perry’s 2012 campaign put up a video on You Tube entitled “Strong” in which the candidate says

You don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our own children can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion and I’ll fight liberal attacks on our religious heritage. I’m Rick Perry and I approve this message.

Viewers haven’t approved it. In fact, they think it sucks. Comments were disabled by the campaign, but campaign staff overlooked the “like/dislike” button: The video has received 3069 “likes” on YouTube, and 130116 “dislikes” at press time (around 3:35 am West Coast Thursday).  Even though the numbers are unscientific, with results like that, Perry might want to consider cutting his losses, saving his cash and bailing the race.

Oh and aside from insulting those who serve in the military, gay and straight,  Perry’s message is a direct attack on the establishment clauses and flies in the face of the landmark 1947 Supreme Court decision Everson v Board of Education:

Neither a state nor the Federal Government can, openly or secretly, participate in the affairs of any religious organizations or groups and vice versa. In the words of Jefferson, the clause against establishment of religion by law was intended to erect “a wall of separation between church and State.”

 

Late Night FDL: Ice Cream! Ice Cream! Rick Perry Screams for Ice Cream

Rick Perry makes so much more sense here! If he were gay, Rick Perry –at least this version– would be Rimbaud. Or Allen Ginsberg. Instead in real life, he’s a sweaty-lipped, bad suit wearing, hair-dying, uptight creep.

For those who prefer their videos more literal:

 

and if you’d like some ice cream, try it Texas style: Fried!

Pair of Rick Perry’s Chick Fans Rap Faint Praises

 

Wow, meet a couple of Rick Perry’s fans, Candy Rapper and Double K who are um..not talented. And seem to have some daddy issues about presidential candidate Rick Perry. Here’s sample of of why they think Rick Perry should be president:

Country boy with big town dreams

His interns wishing he would make them scream

A lean mean fighting machine

He suits are so neat and clean…

Perry, Perry bitches yo Perry

Granted, they claim they were bored in downtown and put together the rap in ten minutes. But honestly, it sucks. Planking? Really? Tragic. I kinda hope Perry uses it in his campaign though.

 

[HT: Uproxx]

Would You Have Sex with Rick Perry for $1 Million Dollars?

Or rather, did you have sex with Rick Perry? For free or for compensation?  Did you play with Perry’s pecker in the hopes that one day he’d make it big and you’d hit the jackpot? Hope you saved some spooge! If so, your poignant recollection of Rick’s randiness is now worth $ 1 million.

Maybe at the time you weren’t thinking of doing it for the money.  Maybe you like man-tan and pancake hair. But now that you’ve done the deed–and can prove it–Larry Flynt will pay you up to $1 million for your tale of Texan titillation. Granted tax will come out of that, but think of it as economic stimulus for your past stimulation. You could just ask Larry Flynt to donate the money to various charities, maybe ones in Texas–say for LGBT youth, the homeless and of course death penalty appeals.

This isn’t Flynt’s first time stirring the kettle of sexual incrimination. And he isn’t flying solo in his quest to discover Perry’s peripheral pokings. Last month Ron Paul  ran an ad looking for anyone who may have rendez-voused with Rick.

One thing is clear: There’s liquid gold in Texan teabagging.

 

 

photo: screen shot, Written on the Wind (Douglas Sirk, dir. 1956)

Late Night FDL: Dumb and Dangerous Patrol

I just got back from watching a taping of two episodes for Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers and I think Dr Drew needs to have Andrew Breitbart and John Hagee on to get some hugs. And not from Rick Perry.

Learning about witchcraft from Harry Potter!? Well, frankly I’d rather kids learn about witchcraft the old fashioned way, from witches! Or at least from a book by a real witch. And Breitbart, who I used to know socially -he co-wrote a book with one of my housemates circa 2000- seems to be moving in the direction of the same sort of paranoid buffoonery that so defined Glenn Beck’s tenure on Fox.

Please Dr. Drew, take them on and teach them open-mindedness, compassion and forgiveness! Or at least give them a fashion makeover!

 

 

God is Annoyed at Rick Perry. His Followers Soon May Be, Too

 

Nutbag-Christian logic states that when a natural disaster occurs, it’s cuz God is all mad and stuff at those people. Therefore, God must be pretty hot under the collar at Rick Perry and his constituents. Prayer at Easter didn’t work, Jesuspaloozah didn’t work, and the fires have gotten worse.

The only explanation is that God is gay. Gay, but not happy. At least with Perry.

His constituents may not be happy either, because now Gov Perry is saying “FEMA.” And gol durn it, that’s just un-American!

I do hope the wildfires are quickly controlled, because even though the folks of Texas voted for Perry, they shouldn’t have to suffer. Anymore than the people of Haiti, or North Carolina.

Rick Perry Pledges to Increase Size of Government, Spend Taxpayer Dollars

Bowing to the pressure of special interest groups, Rick Perry signed National Organization for Marriage’s anti-marriage pledge, joining fellow GOP hopefuls Michele Bachmann and Mitt Romney in their promise to increase the size of government by creating

a presidential commission on religious liberty;

spending taxpayer dollars by sending a

a Constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman to the states for ratification;

and by defending the Defense of Marriage Act in court. Additional government spending will be required to

“advance legislation to return to the people of the District of Columbia their vote on marriage.”

How un-Republican. It is horrifying that the GOP candidates for president are groveling for the votes of extremists and vowing to appoint judges that will legislate from the bench. I am shocked, absolutely shocked!

Rick Perry, Porn Monger for President?

Governor Rick Perry’s presidential campaign office did not respond to repeated requests regarding his ownership of stock in Movie Gallery, a video rental company that was boycotted by American Family Association for the pornographic and violent films it sold and rented. Some of the titles included Teens with Tits Vol. 1, Teen Power Vol. 4, Teens Never Say No, Big Tit Brotha Lovers 6, Bisexual Barebacking Vol. 1 which from its title and cover appears to advocate gay and straight naked fornication and sodomy. Big Tit Brotha Lovers 6 offers:

How liberal of Rick Perry to support these things!

American Family Association, Perry’s partner in the recent Jesuspalooza fundamentalist rally in Houston, The Response, crusaded for years against Movie Gallery, urging boycotts beginning in 2000 and rejoicing in the chain’s closure.

When questioned on August 17, 2011 about AFA’s awareness of (family values campaigner, the heterosexual) Rick Perry’s stock in Movie Gallery, on Cindy Roberts in the AFA press office gasped,

Why, I had no idea!

Randy Sharp, AFA’s point person for the Movie Gallery boycott did not return our call by press time.

Rick Perry’s financial records–before he put all his publicly traded stock in a blind trust (established in 1996), making them unavailable to public scrutiny–show he invested between $5,000 to $10,000 in Movie Gallery, according to a 2006 article on Texas blog Burnt Orange, which cites Perry’s personal financial statement for 1995, the last year available.

And in June 2003 Perry signed tort reform law which Burnt Orange says benefited Movie Gallery.

Perry said the bill would “remov[e] the incentive for trial lawyers to file frivolous lawsuits.” Continuing Perry said, “we will save thousands of jobs, generate millions in new revenue to the state”

Until it went out of business in 2010, Movie Gallery , the nation’s second largest video chain, was the largest distributor of pornography in America and the only major retail chain to sell pornography in its flagship stores. The margin of profit on porn allowed the chain to undercut rental prices on mainstream videos, forcing mom-and-pops out of business. In 2003, Movie Gallery faced a $75 million federal lawsuit from an employee claiming racial discrimination. The suit also claimed Movie Gallery illegally distributed pornography across state lines. Additionally two suits

were filed on behalf of smaller competing video stores, which allege that Movie Gallery’s profits from the illegal distribution of porn across state lines allow it to lowball the prices of nonporn movies. One of the other lawsuits is a harassment action filed by former employees who say the porn created a hostile working environment.

Thomas Johnson Jr., a Movie Gallery senior vice president, said the suits were

frivolous

Sound familiar?

 

 


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