I am not a strict moralist. To a lot of guys internet interactions are disconnected from reality, like looking at Playboy but interactive, like going to a strip club without leaving the house.  Oh and free! Women may view such communications differently. The femme on the other end of the sexting could possibly think

It means something,

that it is form of intimacy that carries a certain weight. Honeys, I have a clue for you, it means a lot less to them than fornication, and well, gods bless guys’ reptile brains–can I eat it? can I fuck it? will it kill me?–a lot of times, fornication doesn’t mean much to them either except during the act. Afterwards could be a yikes-ooops or oh wow I’ve seen heaven, where’s the marriage bureau moment. Or something in between. (And the “Will it kill me?” question has a subtext of “If I get caught.”)

Some women don’t care if the guy holding his joystick is single, married, engaged, or whatever, they are enjoying themselves, the drama, the intrigue, the sexiness. But it is an exchange, and that carries some emotional currency.

Women like reading porn; men like seeing it, so the old saw goes; and there are only so many ways to skin a cat or grease a pole, which is why so many online/stexting exchanges look and read, well just like everyone else’s. Or a bad draft of a Penthouse Forum letter. But Weiner’s free wheeling-dealer had a moment of real emotion–and gullibility coupled with gentle teasing–before she dropped the dox on the digital diddler.

May 31st 2011
omg! are u okay? so sorry u got hacked…i know u would never do anything like have fb sex or take pics of your c***…who is the b***** who ratted u out? I am the only fb chick u can trust
June 1st 2011
u owe me big time for keeping this all quiet…i am defending u to the death on every blog and to everyone….telling everyone u would never send dirty messages to women
i know u haven’t been on here since u were hacked but i NEED to talk to u…someone contacted me about u…call me or something.

And rat him out she did. RadarOnline.com reports that the day before Lisa Weiss approached them and their sister outlet The Star, the liberal blackjack dealer sent a Tweet to the Rachel Maddow show. On June 3.

@maddow have a juicy political story i wnt to give u!how do i contact ur show?

Hell hath no fury…

Men, keep in mind that even if you are not famous, a politician, or a famous politician, your Apple-wielding temptress, the passionate python petter behind the PC will tell someone, or several, about her FB fling with Tony the dentist.  And really shouldn’t have Weiner created an alter-ego? But then he couldn’t have used his Facebook account and Twitter as a feeding ground. And it’s kinda sad that he needed that reinforcement. And needed that risk.

Weiss says she didn’t know Weiner was married. Oh come on, she never thought to Google her cyber-stud? Um, fail.

For a woman in a committed real-life, beast with two backs relationship, finding out that her  sig-o has been stoking his stroking online can be a huge bummer, raising questions about fidelity, intimacy, sexuality, sharing, commitment and so on.  Those are issues that each couple needs to decide; it’s a case-by-case basis. A good rule of thumb: If you don’t want your current partner to know know what you are doing online, it’s time to re-examine things. Everything.

Todd A. Heywood is an openly HIV+  journalist based in Lansing, MI who has covered many issues revolving around HIV — from criminalization to disclosure to epidemiology and new discoveries in medicine and science.

Now he is writing a play about the effect of HIV on relationships and what it means to be HIV+ in America during the past decade, and he’s asking for real life stories from gay and straight men and women of all ages.

Here’s the project in Todd’s own words.

In addition to my love of investigative informative reporting, I have a deep seated love of theater. I have directed over 100 plays, written several pieces that have been produced in Michigan and other states, and I have won several awards for my acting. I recently met with the artistic director of a local professional theater company in Lansing and during our discussion, the idea of a play exploring the impact of HIV on relationships would be a fantastic piece of theater which would help people to understand what living with HIV in America in 2000′s is about.

As such, I am now soliciting stories from those living with HIV as well as those who have been touched by HIV.

• Are you in a magnetic relationship?
• How did you meet?
• How did you disclose?
• What were the reactions?
• How does one partner being negative impact your relationship?
• What do your friends and family think?
• Have you faced criminal charges because of your HIV status? Why? When did it happen? What were the circumstances? What was the outcome?

These and other issues are important. Help me tell our stories! You can send your story to TellingHIVStories@gmail.com. You can do this with audio, video, or simply write your story out. Your name and identity will be protected and I will be the only one with access to your email address. Please make sure to put in your email a way for me to send follow up questions to you!

photo: Bill Ohi, used through creative commons

Humbolt Co crash

I found this on Humboldt’s Craiglist.org, along with other grow related ads. It really sums things things up–or it’s the result of a really creative copywriter! Note that the advertiser was the investor in the project…

Can you GROW better than my Ex?

He’s gone; his equipment is not. I am not a gardener, but here is what I can describe: There is a complete set-up with a black tent, a large filter, a light with a hood, a different light that looks fluorescent to me, pots, chemicals, a large tub and a pump, etc. Basically everything someone would need to get off of their feet. It has all been purchased within the last year, and has been used twice.

I have receipts for many items and it was all purchased at local hydro stores, except the tent which was purchased online. I am not desperate and will not give it away… I know I spent about $4000 but any serious offers will be considered. I am a professional person and just want all of this out of my life, I don’t need more hassle, so please don’t respond if you aren’t reasonably mature and discreet.