After Starbucks Stands Up for LGBT Rights, Vegans Go Bughouse Looney Over Frappuccino Color

First the National Organization for Marriage  gets all sandy-panties, and now  the vegans are going nuts over a natural food coloring, passing the scarlet panic onwards to omnivores. Starbucks just can’t stay out of hot water.

After supporting LGBT rights and marriage equality, the super-venti global coffee corp was put on notice by those shrill, conservative, divisive  equality haters, National Organization for Marriage, who issued a fatwa  and called for a boycott of the multinational chain. Oooh, we’re all shaking like a Frappuccino® over that huge scare. Not. Hardly made a dent in Starby’s business, and may have increased it actually, since people who don’t normally buy coffee there (like me) did so to show their support of  their local boite des Buxes.

Now vegans and the slightly more food-flexible vegetarians are upset because Starbucks uses a natural red dye in their strawberry Frappuccinos®: Dye made from crushed cochineal bugs, as the company states they have a

goal to minimize artificial ingredients in our products. While the strawberry base isn’t a vegan product, it helps us move away from artificial dyes.

Starbucks uses the natural dye–FDA approved, made from the innards of a New World insect which has been sourced as a colorant since before the time of the Conquistadors and whose origins were once one the world’s most closely guarded secrets–in their red velvet whoopie pies birthday cake pops and mini donuts with pink icing.

This is why we can’t have nice things. So let’s make it easy–how about no artificial color at all. No pink drinks. No pink icing. No luridly insect blood-stained red velvet whoopie pies. There’s no real need for a strawberry Frappuccino® to be a colored with a dye because it’s made with real red strawberries, right? Oh…never mind.

Of course, objections to the use of the natural cochineal coloring, as opposed to some nasty man-made chemical dye, in Starbuck’s food–and in other products–could negatively impact the 40,00 people in Peru who labor in cactus fields, scraping cochineal bugs off prickly pear cactus paddles, then mushing the insects into paste and selling them to support their families as they have since before the arrival of the colonial Spaniards.

On April 4, Starbucks’ CEO Howard Schultz will be on Fox Business with Liz Claman at 3 pm Eastern to discuss NOM’s epic fail boycott, their company’s expansion into China, and U.S. job creation (Starbuck’s has teamed up with the Opportunity Finance Network® (OFN) for the Create Jobs for USA program designed to create and sustain jobs, and seeding $5 million to provide financing to underserved community businesses which include small business loans, community center financing, housing project financing and microfinance).

And yes, Schultz will probably have to address the bug guts issue.

Rap Group Odd Future Kill the Cupcake Dead

If  you ever needed evidence beyond the absurdist creations on Cupcake Wars–Cheeto topped cupcakes, anyone?—that the gourmet cupcake craze is over, rap group Odd Future have proven without a doubt that the frosted, twee fad food is absolutely dead.

Before Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (OFWGKTA)–a foul-mouthed Los Angeles based rap group signed to Sony Records, fond of the usual conjugations and variants of that four-letter f-word; tired, overused, crude terms for women;  expressions of violence including kidnapping, rape, and murder; sexual epithets; as well as  expounding anti-gay sentiments–played Chicago’s Pitchfork Festival in what music critic Jim DeRogatis called

the most controversial booking in the seven-year history of the Pitchfork Music Festival

the band, accompanied by their publicist, passed out cupcakes to volunteers manning the festival’s outreach booths for LGBTQ awareness, domestic violence resources, and rape victim advocates– groups whose message was specifically geared

to counter what they [the organizations] saw as dangerous expressions of hate, violence and homophobia in Odd Future’s music.

DeRogatis called Odd Future an

unexceptional live hip-hop act, no better or worse than a hundred other mediocre ones you’ve seen before, albeit even more than usually foul-mouthed,

while Chicago Sun Times’ Thomas O’Connor recounted that

the 45-minute set was a very average hip-hop show…nothing radical.

In a break between songs (which O’Connor described as)

hate speech…more like listening to Oi! (a racist punk subgenre) without guitars

replete with plenty of

f–k you bitch…f–ckin ‘ho…smack you, bitch

ad nauseum, lead singer Tyler the Creator acknowledged the recipients of his cupcake diplomacy with

“A big shoutout to the domestic violence groups out here”

then launched into one of the group’s masterpieces “I Got a Gun (You Better Run).” I guess that passes as humor? Irony?

As Odd Future closed with “Pidgeons,” with its chorus of

Kill people, burn s—, f— school

Tyler the Creator dedicated

this beautiful song to everyone who don’t like me, every protester … everyone writing a faggot-ass review of this show.

And what did Tyler tweet to fans along a photo of himself holding a box of cupcakes out to a volunteer?

Went And Gave The People Who Don’t Like Us Some Cupcakes.

Yes, the cupcake is dead, its final death throes not cause by perky bakers with squeaky, childlike voices and frilly aprons squeezing swirls of rose-scented, pink sparkly butter cream onto variations of red velvet bombes; but by crass performers who shallowly grandstanded the treats as calculated sop for the ignorance they spew.

[HT: Pop N Stuff/WBRZ.org, Thomas O'Connor]

photo: screenshot from the Food Network show Cupcake Wars


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