Obama Better Able to Handle Space Aliens Than Romney, Say Majority of Americans

Nearly two-thirds of Americans surveyed by National Geographic TV think that President Barack Obama would be better able to handle an alien invasion (oh noes, watch out for the 4th or 5th Marcab Invader Fleet!) than putative Republican nominee Mitt Romney.

More than two in three (68%) women say that Obama would be more adept at dealing with an alien invasion than Romney, vs. 61 percent of men. And more younger citizens, ages 18 to 64 years, than those aged 65+ (68% vs. 50%) think Romney would not be as well-suited as Obama to handle an alien invasion.

(No word as to which candidate would be more effective during a zombie apocalypse.)

We’ll just have to wait and see who The Alien endorses in Weekly World News. In 2008 he floofed his goof, backing John McCain, the first time his favored candidate lost.

Late Night: Is That a Ceiling Cat on Your Head, or Are You Running for President?


There is only one explanation for Donald Trump running for president: Trump is a counter-intelligence operative from LOLCATs, specifically the office of Basement Cat.

Mindless chaos makes sense. And maybe bread and circuses. But srsly, if Trump announces his campaign for presidency, it could disrupt NBC’s fall schedule — the announcement of which comes five days before the nuttimendalists are claiming Judgment Day will hit. Coincidence?

To paraphrase a line from the recent Trump roast, would America vote for a man whose autobiography has four Chapter 11s? Are we that celebrity struck, mindless and bloated? Yes, in the past Ronald Reagan, a not so great actor with scary hair and a weird tan, was elected President, but for Gods’ sakes he was an an actor. Trump is a salesman. And/or a better performance art piece than Sarah Palin designed to distract us from some real issues. And he’s endorsed by GaryOnly-Victoria-Jackson-is-CrazierBusey!

What would Trump do if elected President?

See here fellas…Kim, Jong, Il, whatever your first name is, you were not a team player and you spend your budget on mass games for which you could not sell advertising. And ratings stunk! Muammar, you spent your country’s budget on Bea Arthur’s wardrobe. It was a hard choice, but you’re both fired.


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