Years ago when I was doing spoken word, I had schtick where I’d read a list of alphabetized nouns  from a dictionary of slang and euphemism, always beginning with “ace of spades” and ending with “yeast biscuit, you know what, yum yum.” I’d just randomly scan the synonyms and just toss them out with appropriate vocal inflections and pauses. It was fun to see how long it took the audience to catch on.

Included often were such terms as

Berkeley hunt, Bluebeard’s closet, center of attraction, conundrum, divine monosyllable, Eve’s custom house, eye that weeps most when best pleased, fiddle, fie-for-shame, gallimaufrey, generating place, grove of Eglantine,  half-moon, hive, Irish fortune, ivory gate,  Jacob’s ladder, ,jing-jang,  keystone of love, leading article, limbo, love’s pavilion, man-trap, marble arch, mouth that says no words about it, nick-nack, nonny-nonny, oracle, oyster, palace of pleasure, plum tree, purse, quid, quiff, quim, rest and be thankful, rufus, skin the pizzle, star, swallow, target, tool chest, treasure, tunnel, undertaker, vacuum, valve, Venus’ honeypot, what, where uncle’s doodle goes, whim-wham, workshop…

Well, Mooncup, an alternative to tampons and other such items now has a website where ladies–and one presumes gentlemen–can leave their fave names for lady parts, many of which are far more modern than the nouns I used to articulate: “Downtown dining and entertainment district” seems very popular.

Amy Winehouse contributed one. I don’t think anyone wants to go there.