Or rather, did you have sex with Rick Perry? For free or for compensation?  Did you play with Perry’s pecker in the hopes that one day he’d make it big and you’d hit the jackpot? Hope you saved some spooge! If so, your poignant recollection of Rick’s randiness is now worth $ 1 million.

Maybe at the time you weren’t thinking of doing it for the money.  Maybe you like man-tan and pancake hair. But now that you’ve done the deed–and can prove it–Larry Flynt will pay you up to $1 million for your tale of Texan titillation. Granted tax will come out of that, but think of it as economic stimulus for your past stimulation. You could just ask Larry Flynt to donate the money to various charities, maybe ones in Texas–say for LGBT youth, the homeless and of course death penalty appeals.

This isn’t Flynt’s first time stirring the kettle of sexual incrimination. And he isn’t flying solo in his quest to discover Perry’s peripheral pokings. Last month Ron Paul  ran an ad looking for anyone who may have rendez-voused with Rick.

One thing is clear: There’s liquid gold in Texan teabagging.

photo: screen shot, Written on the Wind (Douglas Sirk, dir. 1956)

Anonymous’ #opBART dox dump of user names, emails and passwords presaged Larry Flynt’s Huffington Post blog today in which the free speech advocate wrote:

Any information you put out into cyberspace could come back to bite you in the ass.

That’s why it’s a good idea to use different passwords (and email addresses!) for marketing sites, and paying bills, trolling, visiting AshleyMadison.com, etc. (I wonder if Flynt’s Hustler site uses cookies?) Flynt goes on to point out:

Social media sites and search engines act as data mines, storing information that could later be accessed by the government and used against you in court…

The Feds have no problem letting companies collect and exploit our personal information because it makes running a surveillance state that much easier to do. Whenever the government wants to find out what weird shit you’re up to on the Internet, guess what ­they’re going to find out? You can thank Google, Facebook, Walmart and all the other megacorps for that.

Which is why we like teh lulz at Christine O’Donnell’s, Marcus Bachmann’s and Glenn Beck‘s Amazon sites:

[h/t Wonkette]

Thanks to Hot Chicks with Guy Fawkes Masks for photo permission (a NSFW site!)