Mitt Romney’s (wife’s) dancing horsey Rafalca flubbed her Olympic performance, but hay hey the old gal could still be a money maker for Rmoney–and not by being retired to the glue factory or turned into a breed mare. How about a whole line of Rafalca latex wear for seksy time?! Pony play is big in the fetish community, here’s a way for Mitt to create jobs by creating the Rafalca line of latex and leather goods–and improve couples’ (straight, married only ’cause that’s how Mitt rides) love lives!

The window exhibit at our local Silver Lake BDSM boutique Stockroom features what to me is definitely a Rafalca-inspired installation. They also stock a complete line of pony play items, including harnesses, bits, latex hooves, horse hair tails (use your imagination for how those are held in place) as well as machines which simulate bareback riding. ‘Nuff said, and NSFW.

Speaking of horseback riding, maybe Mitt could figure out a way to import these awesome exercise devices to the U.S. of A (or better yet, have them manufactured here!), and then put Ann and Rafalca’s horse team in a very tasteful infomercial for a horseback riding exercise device, explaining how fun and good for the thighs, back and core muscles horseback riding is. Kinda like Cindy Crawford advertising Relentless Beauty or whatever that French face goo from melons is called.

photo 1: Cindy Schwarzstein

photo 2: Lisa Derrick

There is some very deep symbolism in the Edge of Glory knife sharpener commercial: A credit card is honed to a by the device with title of a Lady Gaga song and slices through a tomato, a slang term for a cute gal.

Yes celebrity-obsessed ladies, be aware that your credit card could become a weapon  used against you! Or something.

Or something.

It kinda made sense for Fox and Friends to have Marlon Wayans on Thursday morning to talk about Lindsay Lohan, celebrity, and Jennifer Lopez’s rise from the Fox Network’s original 1980s series In Living Color to platinum recording artist/American Idol judge.

Marlon’s gum chewing was kinda weirding me out and thanks to F&F co-host Steve Doocey, it all became clear: The comic’s appearance was a tragically forced attempt to promote a brand of gum. Just the gum. Not how the chewing gum company is donating to <insert cause here> or promoting <good deeds here>. Just that they sell gum.

That doesn’t seem very fair or balanced to the advertisers…