I feel dirty. I feel dirty because the United States government wanted to blow up the moon to prove to the Soviet Union what big bad asses we were. Flashback: The Cold War. We had bombs, they had bombs, but we (maybe) had a better space program, so the idea was, according to reports in the Daily Mail, to launch an atom bomb to the moon and have it detonate and scare the Ruskies. Carl Sagan was in on plan, innocuously called “A Study of Lunar Research Flights” and nicknamed “Project A119″¬† which could have been carried off by 1959. What a load of dumb asses. Were they high?! Luckily saner minds prevailed, citing

 danger to people on Earth in case the mission failed. The scientists also registered concerns about contaminating the moon with radioactive material.

Um, duh.

Meanwhile the kid on Two and Half Men had a Come to Jesus Moment, literally, when the scales fell from his eyes, and he realized the show that has made him filthy rich is in fact

filth.

Oh the show sucks. But I kinda gotta wonder why he stuck around until he was 19. Expect the show to end. Thank you, Jesus.

And in other Hollywood news, J.R.R. Tolkien’s heirs are really upset because there are plans for a Lord of the Rings slot machine game, per the Hollywood Reporter. In 1969, the heirs made a deal with the Saul Zaentz Co. who later got Warner Bros involved which is why there is now a Lord of the Rings trilogy of films and a Hobbit movie. According to the suit:

Warners and the other defendants have “with increasing boldness, engaged in a continuing and escalating pattern of usurping rights to which they are not entitled,” the estate argues. For example, their rights include only “tangible” merchandise, not downloadable video games available only on mobile devices or tablets or Facebook. “Defendants also have asserted and continue to assert that they have rights relating to a wide variety of goods and services beyond ‘articles of tangible personal property’ and have registered trademarks and/or filed ‘intent to use’ applications in those same categories, including without limitation hotels, restaurants, travel agencies, ringtones, online/downloadable games and housing developments — categories of rights which plainly have not been granted to them.”

But wait, if you download the game onto your device, it is tangible personal property, isn’t it? And aren’t housing developments tangible? Wait what? HOBBIT HOUSING DEVELOPMENTS? Oh gods, no! Please make it stop!

And to bring it full circle: