Britney Spears: Anti-Pirate Siren Songs Make for Good PR Pre-Album Release

Britney Spears is a not-so-secret weapon against Somali pirates. Apparently the once-troubled pop princess’ early hits “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Baby One More Time” repulse the sea-going marauders.  British merchant navy officer Rachel Owens revealed:

Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.

To keep the crew from getting dosed with Spears’ music, the ship’s speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates. In 2011 there were over 175 armed pirates attacks on ships in the Horn of Africa.

Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry adds:

Pirates will go to any lengths to avoid or try to overcome the music.  I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention.

Conveniently, this story hit around the same time as Spears revealed her new album cover (she’s topless on the front) and released her first single, “Work Bitch.” Spears became a child star and teen sensation before two bad marriages and a very public nervous breakdown.  She has been under the conservatorship of her father, Jamie Spears, for the past five years. Britney returns to the stage this time with a Las Vegas engagement beginning December 27,  right around the time her album hits.

I doubt it will sell in Somalia. Though it may get pirated.

Wow! Butt Crack Stickers

Okay, I thought the “Fear the Rear Gear” pet anus covers were kinda goofy and well, wrong. But Jesus weeps over “Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield” designed to peel and stick over the butt crack left exposed by fashionable low rise jeans. Or by your plumber doing his job.

In French the ad copy promises that the Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield will prevent embarrassing moments and an end to the prying eyes of sweaty co-workers looking at your butt crack when you lean over or pick up your purse from next to you desk. Ooo la la!

They come in a variety of designs, cost 11 euros and can be worn with a thong. But really, wouldn’t the solution to gluteal cleft exposure be to wear a longer shirt over low rise jeans?

[HT Popbitch]

Christian Superstars For Same Sex Marriage

Miley loves Perez

Perez Hilton has been making good use of his Twitter feeds, getting messages of support from celebs regarding his gay marriage question during the Miss USA pageant.

Miley Cyrus who is very active in her church Twittered back:

Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! thats like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz hes gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy.

A little later the teen super star added:

am a christian and i love you [Perez] – gay or not. BECAUSE you are no different that anyone else! we are all gods children! i am not saying this so would be nice on your site (though that would be nice jk;) but because the LORD has spoken ‘love cuz god loves’.

Heidi Montag, one of the stars of The Hills–who is marrying co-star Spenser Prett on Saturday in Pasadena after eloping  to Mexico five months ago–sent Perez this message:

God says in the bible that we should love our neighbor and he created us all as equals. I know in my heart that gays and lesbians should have the same government rights that Spencer and I will when we get married. So, yes, this blonde Christian believes in gay marriage and I hope to one day go to YOUR wedding, Perez!!!

And fellow blonde Brintey Spears, who was raised Christian, Twitted Perez:

Love is love! People should be able to do whatever makes them happy! -Britney