Look, I dislike Sarah Palin for a vast number of reasons. But if you are gonna heckle Bristol Palin in bar, be prepared to answer questions as to why you hate Mama Grizzly bear. Bristol was riding a mechanical bull for scene in her upcoming reality show when a hostile shout-out occurred. It wasn’t very nice, by any stretch of the imagination.

Miss Bris went right over to the man to confront him, asking:

Is it because you’re a homosexual and that’s why you hate her?

The angry guy responded:

Pretty much … and why’d you say I’m a homosexual?

Bristol replied:

Because I can tell you are.

He swears a lot, calls Sarah a liar and a whore, and Bristol stays calms the whole time, asking for examples. She is one cool cucumber.

But Bristol, there are lot of straight people who don’t care for your mother.  Next time you might ask that question to someone who isn’t gay, and doesn’t care for your inference. Because sadly there plenty of those in LA, too.

The whole ugly incident–and I don’t just mean Bristol’s sweatshirt–was captured on video.

Bristol Palin told Dr Drew she doesn’t want to

be named as an abstinence preacher…I’m not out there saying don’t have sex. I hate that kind of stuff. Birth control needs to be used effectively each and every single time if you’re gonna be having sex.

wishes she had stuck to abstinence, but that

I’m not advocating it for everyone else…Kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do.

Bristol compares he work to that of former gang members who can explain to kids why gangs are bad; she has the experience of being a single, teen mom and wants to share that.

three or four days.

stolen

In California, that would be a rape. Is it the same in Alaska?

I’m not accusing Levi of date rape, or rape at all, but I am just looking back with the adult eyes that I have now and just thinking that was a foolish decision. I should have never been underage drinking and I should have never gotten myself into a situation like that.

Dr. Drew didn’t let it go. When Bristol pointed out that she stayed with Levi after that wine cooler-fueled night of amnesia, he gently said:

Now remember what kids do is they try to make it right by justifying what happened.

Bristol justified to Dr. Drew that she kept having sex with Levi because, well, she already had done it, and believed she would marry him.

Dr. Drew observed that, based on her affect and exposition, it seemed like Bristol’s self-expression was stifled, that she

cover[s] a lot of heavy feelings behind a lovely smile…it’s okay to be angry…you’re not allowed to talk about feelings it seems like…

I had planned to watch Dr. Drew tonight–thank you TiVo–so it was a very Los Angeles moment when I walked into Mozza for dinner with friends and saw the man himself, Dr. Drew sitting at a nearby table with his family.  One of the kids was playing with his iPhone during the meal, but he may have just been Googling reactions to his dad’s show.

Academy Award nominated actress Julianne Moore told MTV News that

It was hard, really, really hard

playing former Alaska governor/2008 GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin in the upcoming  Game Change, directed by Jay Roach and based on Mark Halperin and John Heilemann‘s 2010 bestseller of the same name.

I had a great director, Jay Roach who was incredible. I adored him, [he was] so supportive, so smart. I did a lot of research, I worked really hard. It’s hard to play someone who is very present in people’s minds, who’s on television, very idiosyncratic,  I did my best. We’ll see, I hope we pulled it off.

The HBO movie stars Ed Harris as John McCain, and Woody Harrelson as Steve Schmidt, Larry Sullivan as Palin’s deputy chief of staff Chris Edwards, Jamey Sheridan as McCain’s speechwriter and senior campaign advisor Mark Salter.

We’ll get to see behind the scenes with Palin family, too: Melissa Farman plays Bristol Palin, David Barry Gray appears as Todd Palin, and Justin Gaston as Levi Johnston. The film follows the 2008 McCain campaign from the candidate’s selection of Sarah Palin as running mate to their defeat on election night.

Moore worked to get her character’s accent down:

I had to listen to it over and over again. My son was embarrassed because [Palin's speeches were] all that was on my iPod. He said, ‘Where’s your music?’ [I told him] I erased all my music.

The film, shot in Maryland, was reported to be responsible for employing 160 local crew and 1,800 residents as extras. But that kind of job creation wasn’t on Palin’s mind when she spoke to Sean Hannity about Game Change. She wondered why she wasn’t get some money for her kids’ braces. Um, Sarah, haven’t you made millions off your books and TV appearances? Maybe Bristol could help you out with her windfall if you’ve spent all yours!

When last we visited the Alaskan All-stars, aka the the Superstar Snowbunnies, the Thrillas from Wasilla, Sarah was shootin’ elks on her reee-aliteee teevee show and Li’l Bristol  had jest ’bout won the dancin’ show.

Well now it’s almost Valentine’s Day and time to check in on the family:

Sarah Palin™(not) spoke about Ronnie Reagan Friday February 4 at the Reagan Ranch center in honor of the Gipper’s 100th birthday. RIP Ronnie’s son, Ron, Jr. was not amused.

Bristol Palin™(not) moved to Arizona, bought a house, and is writing her memoir! According to RadarOnline.com her new home is a 4000 square feet, with five bedrooms, and she scooped it up at the bargain price of $172,000 cash. Meanwhile, there are no court papers supporting Ms Bris’ wish Facebook post that Tripp’s last name was changed to “Palin.”

In other sad name related news, Reuters reports that both Sarah and Bristol Palin’s attempts to trademark their names were rejected because… A trademark examiner said:

Registration is refused because the applied-for mark, SARAH PALIN, consists of a name identifying a particular living individual whose consent to register the mark is not of record.

In other words…um she forgot to sign application.

The office also said Palin’s application failed to show that her name had been used in commerce and could also be rejected on those grounds.
Bristol Palin’s application also will need to be redone, according to a similar office action filed in her case.

Clap for Bristol!

Tonight I am going to interrupt my regularly scheduled catchup of Tivo’ed One Tree Hill reruns–I’m now up to their senior year at Tree Hill High, and Lucas has just admitted he has a heart condition; plus he’s stiill in love with Brooke who is competing with new girl Rachel, the red head with a secret.

Instead I’ll liveblog Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Though, calling Bristol Palin  a “star” is really pushing it. One appearance on The Secret Life of the American Teenager does not a star make. But maybe the star in question is Mark Ballas, Bristols’s dancing partner who scored two series wins.

With Sarah Palin allegedly in the audience, supposedly the duo will be cutting a rug to Three Dog Night’s “Mama Told Me Not To Come” which seems a little too stunt casting. And really, to be biologically correct shouldn’t the title be “I Told Him Not to Come”? Or heck, just scrap it and twist away to Martin Mull’s “Jesus is Easy” with the catchy refrain, “Jesus is easy, just get down or your knees” because you can’t like get preggers from a bj.

Bristol is low balled at 22/1 odds to win this season, though Florence Henderson has the worst odds, at 25/1.  Dancing With the Stars though is more of popularity contest than a strict talent-only show, so maybe the Palinites will GOTV for Miss Abstinence Only…

Audrina Patridge 8/1
Brandy 3/1
Bristol Palin 22/1
“The Hoff” David Hasselhoff 10/1
Florence Henderson 25/1
Jennifer Grey 7/2
Kyle Massey 25/1
Kurt Warner 12/1
Margaret Cho 20/1
Michael Bolton 10/1
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino 7/1
Rick Fox 11/2

Imagine my horror, though when someone sent me email explaining how to skew the vote on DWTS to make sure a certain favorite wins. Wait, I thought the idea always was one person, one vote, but on reality shows it’s like ten votes per person. Or more if you are sneaky. Somehow that seems down right unAmerican! Unless of course you want America’s Sweetheart to win. And what if Bristol gets a low vote and LOSES? Will there be a recount? A re-jiggering of how voting works?

At any rate, here’s what I was sent about DWTS’ voting.

1. You can vote multiple accounts on multiple browsers. So if you have 10 accounts you can vote them on IE, then switch to Mozilla, then to Google Chrome, and any number of browsers.

2. You can vote the same accounts on multiple computers. The system does not register that an account has already been voted.

3. You do not have to use a legit email to start an account. For example, I pick a local college. All of their emails end in nctc.edu, so I make up an user name and add that to the end in order to make up additional accounts.

4. If fans are in contact with other fans, they can share their account lists and vote each set on other computers.

5. Start voting as soon as the show starts-once its over phone lines are jammed and online voting slows down. I normally vote until around 11CST, get a few hours sleep and then hit it again. Overnight the online voting is much faster.

I will not participate in voter fraud, even if it’s a reality show, and I sincerely hope none you will either. I am hoping that exposing this heinous miscarriage will trigger an ethics investigation and put an end to the ghastly practice of reality TV ballot stuffing!

creative commons allen jae lee

Levi Johnston told CBS’s Early Show that the only thing he regrets is apologizing to Sarah Palin because his “sorry” seem like his original reports of life chez Palin were lies.

I don’t really regret anything. But the only thing I wish I wouldn’t have done is to put out that apology. ‘Cause it kind of makes me sound like a liar. And I’ve never lied about anything. So that’s probably the only thing. The rest of the stuff I can live with.

The rest of the stuff includes posing for Playgirl and placing a diamond engagement ring on Bristol Palin’s bed surrounded by a rose petal heart to renew their pre-wedded state. Only that kinda fell apart. But those zany kids have another plan: Instead of marriage, they’re each going to do a reality show.

Just to sweeten the pot and twist the plot a bit more, Levi is running for mayor of Wasilla, the job his nearly once-and-former mother-in-law Sarah held in her upwardly mobile trajectory to the New York Times Best Seller List, while Bristol will appear on Dancing with the Stars.

Levi Johnson is reportedly spending some nights in the Anchorage apartment of his ex, Bristol Palin and their son Tripp.

Bristol, one the world’s most famous unwed mothers and a spokesperson for abstinence, is living on her own, away from her mother Sarah Palin which might explain why Levi is coming around more often.

Levi was orderde to pay $18,500 is back child support. Maybe they should just get married…

TMZ reports that Bristol Palin has filed for $1,750 a month in child support from Levi Johnston, retroactive to the birth of their son Tripp on December 27, 2008.

Miss Bris claims that Levi has earned

in excess of $105,000 in 2009 through various media interviews and modeling related activities

and has only paid her $4,300. Meanwhile, Levi’s lawyer says the sometimes model/spokesperson has paid $10,00 in child support, and besides he hasn’t been paid for every interview he’s given, so the $105,000 is ridiculous.

But um, maybe someone wants to check around and see if family members have been paid by tabloids for selling stories about the Palins…just saying.

"Practiced" seems to be the operative word, since they didn’t quite get it right….

Then Bristol Palin’s ex-boyfriend hedges a bit and says

Well most of the time.

Tyra asks if there was a "wardrobe malfunction."  But yes, it sounds more like an inability to follow basic directions on the condom wrapper–you’re supposed to put it on in the beginning and leave it on. There can be advance spillage, ya know!

And "most of the time" could Tripp you up…

While attending the launch of a $150 a tube eyelash growth formula, actress/football wife Angie Harmon told Fox News she’s

dressing for the recession over here, buddy

and doesn’t like the way President Obama is handling things. But she’d like to make it clear that disagreeing with Obama doesn’t make her racist:

I’m just going to come out and say it. If I have anything to say against Obama it’s not because I’m a racist, it’s because I don’t like what he’s doing as President and anybody should be able to feel that way, but what I find now is that if you say anything against him you’re called a racist…If I’m going to disagree with my President, that doesn’t make me a racist. If I was to disagree with W, that doesn’t make me racist. It has nothing to do with it, it is ridiculous.

 Huh? Angie, who called you a racist? Last I checked it’s the rightwing media pushing the meme and trying to create a spin that if people disagree with Obama they are racist.

There are plenty of folks–left, right and center–publicly expressing their not-always-in-favor opinions of Obama’s policies and the r-word isn’t cropping up as a criticism of their views, so maybe you’re a little sensitive?  Or not paying attention to the real world and just being (Bill O’Reilly word) a popinjay for wingnut talking points?

Angie also has some  thoughts about Obama appearing appearing on Leno:

I also think if W or John McCain or Reagan would have gone and done a talk show, the backlash would have been so huge and in his face, and ‘What is our president doing? How unclassy!’ But Obama does it and no one says anything.

Though there’s no-girl-on-girl misogyny with Angie over Sarah Plain–despite Gov GILF’s trotting Bristol out for lie-filled dog-and-pony with Greta van Susteren:

I admire any kind of woman like her. My whole motto is to know what I stand for and know what I don’t stand for and have the courage to live my life accordingly and she does exactly that. The fact that this woman has made the decisions she’s made and literally lived her life according to that and takes heat for it is absolutely disgusting to me. People cannot look at this woman. I really think they’re afraid of her and her morals, ethics and values and the fact that she hangs on them.

Here’s Glen Beck on Fox & Friends spreading the bs meme: