Hail Cthulhu! What Ms. Lovecraft Teaches. Or, Why Conservatives Fear Sex Ed in Schools.

 

The hideous pagan abominations of sex education are revealed in Late Bloomer, a horrifying coming of age story from Craig Macneill and Clay McLeod. All the terrifying implications and outright fears of conservative are laid bare as the blood curdling  revelations of sexuality drive the narrator mad, mad I tell you!

Hail Cthulhu! And yeah, Bill O’R'lyeh will need a fresh loofah and some falafel after watching this.

(While there is no nudity, Late Bloomer might be a bit much for younger kids, though anyone who has watched One Tree Hill or Gossip Girl should be fine with it).

 

[H/T:  Neatorama ]

One Million Moms No Match for Ellen Fans, Now Gunning for Sexy Plumbers

Teeth gnashing, hostile conservative, homophobic h8ters One Million Moms have dropped their mean-spirited call for retailer JC Penney to fire spokeswomen Ellen DeGeneres because the beloved talk show host is openly gay. One Million Mom spokesperson Monica Cole told One News Now:

Everyone works hard for their money, and they want to spend their money with companies that have the same values as them. And JC Penney stated that Ellen DeGeneres shares the same values that they do. So obviously, it’s not the same as Christians or conservatives, which is unfortunate [because] JC Penney was founded by a Christian man.

One Million Moms were excoriated by none other than bloviating Fox News pundit Bill O’Reilly who called the groups action

Un-American…wrong…a witch hunt

Cole explains that One Million Moms, a subsidiary of the rabid LGBT-loathing American Family Association, now has other fish to fry: They’ve rallied members to call for sponsors to drop their adds on ABC’s new comedy series GCB, and they’ve got their sandy panties in a tightly wadded bunch over this commercial:

The Clorox Company introduces the Liquid-Plumr Double Impact Snake and Gel System in this ad which is full of sexual innuendos as well. They are attempting to use sex to sell a product to unclog drains…The commercial starts off with a woman in a supermarket daydreaming about what this new Liquid-Plumr product has to offer. She says, “Double impact,” twice as she reads the bottle. In her dream she is at home and answers the door to find a sexy plumber… She says come on in and he walks upstairs. The doorbell rings again and it is a second sexy plumber…

Then she wakes up to reality to find the two men in the supermarket. She flirts by giving sexy eyes to the one man in the deli slicing meat and the other in produce holding two melons. These two men are the same as in her dream. It may be coincidence, but the man in produce is standing beside cucumbers with a price sign behind him reading 69 cents.

One wonders what they would have thought about  the Ty-D-Bol ads which featured a woman in her bathroom talking to the little man in the boat.

Bill O’Reilly Sticks Up for Ellen Against One Million Moms

JC Penney named Ellen DeGeneres as spokesperson. And naturally conservative crackpots One Million Moms (have you ever met anyone who is one of these mythical million moms?), , have launched a whine-athon against the department store chain, urging that people call their local JCP branch and complain.

In what many might seem as one of the signs of the End Times, Bill O’Reilly jumped into the fray and supported JC Penney’s right to choose whomever as a spokesperson, saying that calling for Ellen’s firing is un-American and

wrong…a witchhunt.

Meanwhile Ellen had this to say:

Me, I’ll be calling my local JC Penney’s manager and thanking them for having Ellen as a spokesperson. And maybe I’ll venture inside their doors for the first time since I was like 16, buy some things, and tell the salespeople and cashiers why I chose to spend my dollars there.

Late Night FDL: Food Science Heats Up

 

I wonder if O’Reilly and his foodie friend would be as brave as this young lad:

Or if they’d be willing to sample an entrepreneurial delight such as this:

Yum!

Anderson Cooper vs Colbert in Fall Line Up, Spitzer Cancelled.

CNN has cancelled Eliot Spitzer’s show, In the Arena, moving Anderson Cooper’s AC360 into the 8pm spot, with replays at 10pm.

Cooper will now go head to head against Bill O’Reilly’s The O’Reilly Factor on Fox,  Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central.

Colbert and Cooper launched a faux-feud in May, which lasted only a couple episodes.

Late Night: Palin–Glenn Beck’s Sleazy Obsession is Liquor Salesmen’s Dream Date

Is it part of God’s plan that there are just so many good Sarah Palin stories tonight? Sarah, I just can’t quit you.You are a long cold drink on a hot day.

And speaking of drinking, it’s been announced that Palin will be the official keynote speaker at the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America convention in Las Vegas in early April. The convention features a liquor tasting, which leads in my bedazzled brain to the Name the Palin Cocktail game, and of course the official Sarah Palin drinking game.

Now what kind of drinking game might be best? We need a title for the game, scoring, rules, penalties, judges. She mentions “conservative” take a shot? “Good clean” whether Alaska protein or energy is worth two?

For some guidelines to the mixology concept and the drinking game, which could begin with her appearance tonight on O’Reilly (see above)  or tomorrow on Beck, here’s some stuff  from Game Change reported by the Daily Mail:

Palin’s behaviour was so erratic that at one point senior figures in the McCain campaign began to seriously discuss the possibility that she was mentally unstable..

She wasn’t eating (a few small bites of steak a day, no more). She wasn’t drinking (maybe half a can of Diet Doctor Pepper, no water, ever). She wasn’t sleeping (not much more than a couple of hours a night, max)…while being drilled for upcoming interviews, ‘she would routinely shut down – chin on her chest, arms folded, eyes cast to the floor, speechless and motionless, lost in what those around her described as a kind of catatonic stupor’.

The morning of her ill-fated CBS interview with Katie Couric, Ms Palin – ‘her eyes glassy and dead’ – was unresponsive to attempts to prep her as she was being made up.

‘As they were about to set off to meet Couric, Palin announced “I hate this makeup” -smearing it off her face, messing up her hair, complaining she looked fat,’ the book says

Speaking of cocktail, check out sleazy and creepy Glenn Beck leering about their weird attraction to each other. That’s enough to make me mix a nice absinthe and vermouth.


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