There’s a Vagina in the House: Lawmaker Banned For Saying “Vagina” in MI Speech

Vagina. It’s in the dictionary. But apparently you can’t use that three syllable medical term in the Michigan House of Representatives. Rep. Lisa Brown was silenced with a gavel by the House Speaker for

violating the decorum of the House

during her speech Wednesday  against legislation that would place new regulations on abortion providers, as well as  prohibiting abortions after 20 weeks. Rep Brown said:

I’m flattered that you’re all so interested my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’

Yes. You read correctly Brown was silenced Wednesday for using

vagina

instead of any number of euphemistic or slang terms like altar of hymen, antipodes, beaver, box, coochie, crumpet, dearest bodily part, divine monosyllable, ell-skinner, Eve’s customs-house, fig, fountain of love, gash, gynee, hoohah, honeypot, ineffable, ivory gate, jamjar, jigamabob, keyhole, kitchen-kitty,  lady-flower, love’s fountain, money-maker, muff, nature’s tufted treasure, nether-eye, oracle, oyster, pleasure palace, pussy, quim, quoniam, robjack, road-to-pleasure, sallyport,  snatch, thing, twat, unmentionable, under-dimple, va-jayjay, vulva, what-and-where, womanhood, you-know-what,  yumyum, z-gallery, or zesty place.

She didn’t say the C-word. She used a medical term: Vagina.  However, Rep. Mike Callton commented:

What she said was offensive. It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.

Wait, whut? Here are lawmakers about to legislate about something involving (cover your eyes) vaginas and penises, and how those vaginas and related parts which were affected by penises and ejaculate should be treated, and they can’t even say or hear the word vagina? Oh holy of holy holes, how the heck do these fellows explain reproduction to their children? If Rep Callton won’t say

vagina

in mixed company, does that mean he uses the word with his male pals? That they all talk about vaginas? And since when are women so delicate they can’t hear or speak the medical term for a part of their own bodies? Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Say it loud, we’re here and proud. Vagina.
Ari Adler, spokesman for the Republican majority said that

Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas had determined Brown’s comments violated the decorum of the House.

The House majority in Michigan is Republican. Brown is a Democrat. And has a vagina. Thursday House Republicans would not  allow Brown to speak  on a school employee retirement bill.
Vagina.

Proposed Tennessee Law Would ID Abortion Providers, Give Patient Information

Aren’t Republicans all about the government staying out of our business? Oh wait, unless it’s our lady business, and then they can get all up in it.

In Tennessee, the latest invasion of Mount Venus, HB 3808 erroneously and laughably called the Life Defense Act of 2012, comes courtesy of Republican Rep. Matthew Hill. The bill has two parts:

The first would require doctors to have admitting privileges at a hospital near where they perform abortions, while the second would require the Department of Health to release more information on abortions, including the name of the doctor who performed the procedure and demographics about the women who receive them.

The bill is a waste of government time and newspaper ink, which Hill, the bill’s sponsor, admits:

The Department of Health already collects all of the data, but they don’t publish it. All we’re asking is that the data they already collect be made public.

Along with publishing the names of doctors, including obstetricians who perform abortion procedures during emergencies or miscarriages, the bill would also require the publication of data — including the age, race, education and number of children — of women who receive abortions, as well as their county of residence. Along with putting doctors at risk from radical “pro-life” activists, the information could be used, claim the bill’s opponents, to reveal

the identities of some women who receive abortions, particularly in small, rural communities.

The bill is clearly designed to intimidate doctors and patients. And hopefully, if Tennessee legislators have a lick of sense, they will veto it. And come next election cycle, Tennessee voters just might tell Rep Hill to head for the hills.

 

[HT: Jezebel]

Ohio Impotency Bill: Boner Drugs Would Require Note from Sex Partner

Ohio state senator Nina Turner is taking a stand for men’s health by introducing a bill which would require men to

see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotence

before being prescribed Viagra or similar drugs designed to raise the Titanic.

Shades of the French impotency trials! Long ago Catholic theologians declared that the sole purpose of marriage was to procreate; thus for centuries, the only way for a woman to get out of a bad marriage was an annulment obtained by charging her husband with injurious non-consumation. The French, being French, took this matter seriously, and  impotency trials reached a feverish height by the mid-1500s, continuing well into the 1700s, as aristocratic women had sufficient funds of their own to mount such suits before moving on to mount more fit suitors.

The accused husband would have to prove his manhood’s rampancy before the court and allow it to be tested for elastic tension, natural motion and proof of ejaculation, according the records of the time. If he failed to achieve lift off, along with the moon and stars, the poor chapped chappie had only one recourse: Trial by congress –and with not the Senate and House, but with the woman who was demanding the annulment. In a bed. With witnesses. This usually did not end in the man’s favor.

Now granted, thankfully things–like divorce laws–have changed somewhat since those times.  And most likely the majority of men requesting their doctors dose them with Viagra don’t have baby-making on their minds, if those ads on TV featuring silver foxes eying ladies past childbearing age (and wearing wedding rings) are to believed. And they’re only using erectile dysfunction with their wives, right?

Along with requiring men  who want a lift to bring a note from a (one hopes, verified) sexual partner–though I guess the dud dude could always forge a convincing one–Senator Turner’s bill would also require that men who take prescription anti-impotence drugs:

to be tested for heart problems, receive counseling about possible side effects and receive information about “pursuing celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.”

This seems utterly logical, for as Senator says:

Even the FDA recommends that doctors make sure that assessments are taken that target the nature of the symptoms, whether it’s physical or psychological. I certainly want to stand up for men’s health and take this seriously and legislate it the same way mostly men say they want to legislate a woman’s womb.

Because if it good for the goose, it’s good for gander.

 

[Historical reference: Napoleon's Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped by Tony Perrott]


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