What the hell is wrong with Arizona politicians? Do the relentless desert days of beating sun and the sudden summer thunderstorms repeatedly bake, then wash away all sense from elected officials? Have they been smoking desert toad venom?

A group of Arizona Republicans are eager to pass House Bill 2467 which would require all public high school graduates to recite the following oath in order to graduate:

I, _______, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge these duties; So help me God.

But what if you don’t believe in God? Too bad. Either ask something you don’t believe in to help you so you can graduate, or you lie. Which is creepy and wrong.

Think Progress reports that the bill may be amended to remove the God part, reporting that tea partier Bob Thorp who introduced the bill wrote in an email to the Arizona Republic:

In that we had a tight deadline for dropping our bills, I was not able to update the language. Even though I want to encourage all of our students to understand and respect our Constitution and constitutional form of government, I do not want to create a requirement that students or parents may feel uncomfortable with.

I am not a sports fan, so during major playoffs I give a heartfelt “Rah! Go team!”  for the team with the coolest name or colors, or that has the most socially awesome players.  So expect me to be to saying several prayers to Eleggua and Oshun on behalf of the Denver Nuggets because their star player Kenneth Faried has stated very clearly that he supports LGBTQ rights in this video, saying:

Nobody can ever tell me I can’t have two mothers because I really do.

When I first saw this ad, I thought it was a right-wing produced anti-Roe v Wade commercial because it is soooo yucky and creepy. For me the guy falls straight into the worst stereotype of the typical smarmy cad who wants to bang without a condom on the first dip. He’s slick, faux-seductive, self-entitled, bougie, and a boozer. Flunk. Fail. So when I saw it was produced by the pro-choice Center for Reproductive Rights, I threw up a little in my mouth.

This new pseudo-PSA from Coca-Cola pushes their low calorie options: Look, mini-Coke for portion control! Look, a lower calarie options with lots of fake stuff in it! And look, we voluntarily replaced high-calorie beverages in school vending machines with lower-calorie options just to insure we maintain out revenue stream. It’s nice they give money to the Boys And Girls Club, who I support through their local poker tournament at the Hustler Casino; I guess we all have our off-base ways of doing it for the kids.

The Coke ad basically says if you exercise enough, you can drink their glop  to your heart’s (and waistline’s) content.  Nice showing the white bread sammiches in the kids lunches too. Wheat bread and fruit would have made a better subliminal.

Your thoughts?

Not this!

Mankind’s ability to drive species into extinction is tragic and legendary: The Tasmanian wolf and tiger, the dodo bird, the freaking passenger pigeon, plus hundreds, nay thousands, of other species of fauna and flora–remember the moly plant? Nope, no one does because it was so prized by the Romans as both an abortifacient and flavoring, it was harvested to the point that it no longer exists; it may have been related to fennel–and disrupting the earth’s delicate ecosystem.

But what about the pubic louse, Phthirus pubis? Yeah, crabs, aka crotch clingers, a (usually) sexually transmitted critter that is embarrassing and yucky and itchy and colonizes pubic hair. Eeuuuw!

Would we, would the world as whole, be better off without the pubic louse, aka the crab louse? What to do they do aside from prove somebody’s a skank? Well, we may be finding out the answer to that sooner than later, since the pubic louse may soon join the Bengal tiger on the endangered species list. And not because of pesticides, or detergents, but because we are ripping out their environment: Our pubic hair.

Bloomberg reports that:

Waning infestations of the bloodsuckers have been linked by doctors to pubic depilation, especially a technique popularized in the 1990s by a Manhattan salon run by seven Brazilian sisters…Ten years ago, U.K. doctors noticed a dwindling in cases of pubic lice even as patient numbers and prevalence rates of other sexually transmitted infections increased. Janet Wilson, a consultant in sexual health and HIV, linked the trend with the growing popularity of pubic hair removal she and colleagues observed among patients attending the genitourinary medicine department at the General Infirmary in Leeds, northern England.

And this is causing concern to those who care about bugs:

“Pubic grooming has led to a severe depletion of crab louse populations,” said Ian F. Burgess, a medical entomologist with Insect Research & Development Ltd. in Cambridge, England. “Add to that other aspects of body hair depilation, and you can see an environmental disaster in the making for this species.”

THIS!

[HT:  newsvandal.com]

It’s the Golden Globes, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s own award show (on NBC at 5pm West Coast, 8pm East, right now!) with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey doing the hosting honors! The HFPA loves, loves, loves television and movie stars, and judging from the list of Best Director nominees, likes to set itself apart from those Oscar people.   So tune in, turn on, and drop names with Firedoglake as we dish the gowns, the speeches, and discuss who we would have voted voted for and why!

MOTION PICTURES

Best Drama
“Argo”
“Django Unchained”
“Life of Pi”
“Lincoln”
“Zero Dark Thirty”

Best Musical/Comedy
“Les Miserables”
Best Director
Ben Affleck, “Argo”
Best Actress in a Drama
Jessica Chastain, “Zero Dark Thirty”
Best Actor in a Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Lincoln”

Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy
Hugh Jackman, “Les Miserables”

Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy
Jennifer Lawrence, “Silver Linings Playbook”

Best Supporting Actress
Anne Hathaway, “Les Miserables”

Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz, “Django Unchained”

Best Screenplay
Quentin Tarantino, “Django Unchained”

Best Foreign Language Film
“Amour”

Best Animated Feature
“Brave”

Best Original Song
“Skyfall,” music and lyrics by Adele and Paul Epworth (“Skyfall”)

Best Original Score
Mychael Danna, “Life of Pi”

TELEVISION

Best TV Comedy or Musical
“Girls”

Best TV Drama
“Homeland”

Best Actress in a TV Drama
Claire Danes, “Homeland”

Best Actor in a TV Drama
“Damian Lewis, “Homeland”

Best Actress in a TV Comedy
Lena Dunham, “Girls”
Best Actor in a TV Comedy
Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”

Best Miniseries or TV Movie
“Game Change”

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Julianne Moore, “Game Change”

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Kevin Costner, “Hatfields & McCoys”
Best Supporting Actress in a TV Show, Miniseries or TV Movie
Maggie Smith, “Downtown Abbey: Season 2″

Best Supporting Actor in a TV Show, Miniseries or TV Movie
Ed Harris, “Game Change”

Oh we love a parade! Especially an awards show parade of  dazzling movie and teevee stars all dressed up! And the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s Golden Globes–which have radically diverged from the Academy Awards this year  in the Best Director category.  I kinda thought Django Unchained was a comedy (and it would have swept in that category, though hard toss up between Leonardo DiCaprio and Christoph Waltz as to who was the Best Supporting Actor no matter if it’s comedy or drama). And Philip Seymour Hoffman was brilliant in The Master. Alan Arkin in Argo–that may be the winner. It’s hard to say with the Globes/HFPA, a strange bunch who have managed to turn their little awards gig into the  major event of the pre-Oscars awards season.

So join us now!  Tune into the Globes (on NBC) as we let rip the bon mots and shred the arrivals.

MOTION PICTURES

Best Drama
“Argo”
“Django Unchained”
“Life of Pi”
“Lincoln”
“Zero Dark Thirty”

Best Musical/Comedy
“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
“Les Miserables”
“Moonrise Kindgom”
“Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
“Silver Linings Playbook”

Best Director
Ben Affleck, “Argo”
Kathryn Bigelow, “Zero Dark Thirty”
Ang Lee, “Life of Pi”
Steven Spielberg, “Lincoln”
Quentin Tarantino, “Django Unchained”

Best Actress in a Drama
Jessica Chastain, “Zero Dark Thirty”
Marion Cotillard, “Rust and Bone”
Helen Mirren, “Hitchcock”
Naomi Watts, “The Impossible”
Rachel Weisz, “The Deep Blue Sea”

Best Actor in a Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Lincoln”
Richard Gere, “Arbitrage”
John Hawkes, “The Sessions”
Joaquin Phoenix, “The Master”
Denzel Washington, “Flight”

Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy
Jack Black, “Bernie”
Bradley Cooper, “Silver Linings Playbook”
Hugh Jackman, “Les Miserables”
Ewan McGregor, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
Bill Murray, “Hyde Park on Hudson”

Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy
Emily Blunt, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
Judi Dench, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
Jennifer Lawrence, “Silver Linings Playbook”
Maggie Smith, “Quartet”
Meryl Streep, “Hope Springs”

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, “The Master”
Sally Field, “Lincoln”
Anne Hathaway, “Les Miserables”
Helen Hunt, “The Sessions”
Nicole Kidman, “The Paperboy”

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, “Argo”
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Django Unchained”
Philip Seymour Hoffman, “The Master”
Tommy Lee Jones, “Lincoln”
Christoph Waltz, “Django Unchained”

Best Screenplay
Mark Boal, “Zero Dark Thirty”
Tony Kushner, “Lincoln”
David O’Russell, “Silver Linings Playbook”
Quentin Tarantino, “Django Unchained”
Chris Terrio, “Argo”

Best Foreign Language Film
“Amour”
“A Royal Affair”
“The Intouchables”
“Kon-Tiki”
“Rust and Bone”

Best Animated Feature
“Rise of the Guardians”
“Brave”
“Frankenweenie”
“Hotel Transylvania”
“Wreck-It Ralph”

Best Original Song
“For You,” music and lyrics by Monty Powell, Keith Urban (“Act of Valor”)
“Not Running Anymore,” music and lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi (“Stand Up Guys”)
“Safe & Sound,” music and lyrics by Taylor Swift, John Paul White, Joy Williams, T Bone Burnett (“The Hunger Games”)
“Skyfall,” music and lyrics by Adele and Paul Epworth (“Skyfall”)
“Suddenly,” music by Claude-Michel Schonberg and lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil (“Les Miserables”)

Best Original Score
Mychael Danna, “Life of Pi”
Alexandre Desplat, “Argo”
Dario Marianelli, “Anna Karenina”
Tom Tykwer, Johnny Klimek and Reinhold Heil, “Cloud Atlas”
John Williams, “Lincoln”

TELEVISION

Best TV Comedy or Musical
“The Big Bang Theory”
“Episodes”
“Girls”
“Modern Family”
“Smash”

Best TV Drama
“Breaking Bad”
“Boardwalk Empire”
“Downton Abbey”
“Homeland”
“The Newsroom”

Best Actress in a TV Drama
Connie Britton, “Nashville”
Glenn Close, “Damages”
Claire Danes, “Homeland”
Michelle Dockery, “Downton Abbey”
Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”

Best Actor in a TV Drama
Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”
Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Jeff Daniels, “The Newsroom”
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”
Damian Lewis, “Homeland”

Best Actress in a TV Comedy
Zooey Deschanel, “New Girl”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep”
Lena Dunham, “Girls”
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”

Best Actor in a TV Comedy
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”
Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”
Louis C.K., “Louie”
Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes”
Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory”

Best Miniseries or TV Movie
“Game Change”
“The Girl”
“Hatfields & McCoys”
“The Hour”
“Political Animals”

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Nicole Kidman, “Hemingway & Gellhorn”
Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story: Asylum”
Sienna Miller, “The Girl”
Julianne Moore, “Game Change”
Sigourney Weaver, “Political Animals”

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Kevin Costner, “Hatfields & McCoys”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock (Masterpiece)”
Woody Harrelson, “Game Change”
Toby Jones, “The Girl”
Clive Owen, “Hemingway & Gellhorn”

Best Supporting Actress in a TV Show, Miniseries or TV Movie
Hayden Panettiere, “Nashville”
Archie Panjabi, “The Good Wife”
Sarah Paulson, “Game Change”
Maggie Smith, “Downtown Abbey: Season 2″
Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family”

Best Supporting Actor in a TV Show, Miniseries or TV Movie
Max Greenfield, “New Girl”
Ed Harris, “Game Change”
Danny Huston, “Magic City”
Mandy Patinkin, “Homeland”
Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”

In Italy, Mussolini has a cult following in the small town of in Predappio where the dictator’s mug can be found on beer mugs. Oh and you can buy busts of Hitler too!:

Every year hundreds of thousands of visitors come to Predappio, filling its bars, restaurants, and especially the “Il Duce” devotional shops that line the main road. There you can buy letter-openers, ashtrays, coins, shirts, pants, coffee cans, wine, beer mugs and lighters brandishing slogans are like “Believe, Obey, Fight” or “Damned be he who gives up.” Of course, all bear images of Mussolini, replete with famous chin and fascist salute. There are flags with swastikas and SS insignia and 38-centimeter-tall bronze busts of “Il Duce” that go for €45.

There’s even a bust of Hitler, markedly smaller of course at 16 centimeters, for the bargain price of €15. Objects like these attract some German neo-Nazis, who seize the opportunity, as well as the bottle — in this case filled with beer and bearing Adolf ‘s image under the heading “The Comrade” for the price of €3.

Meanwhile, a small town in Kentucky has

outsiders

from the Freedom From Religion Foundation in Wisconsin demanding a portrait of Jesus be removed from the school’s Hall of Honor which is filled with photographs of Jackson High School’s alumna. School Superintendent Phil Howard says:

It hangs here amongst many other photos here in our Hall of Honor. I honestly believe that for someone to say that photo excludes anyone is really a reach.

Santeria is pretty awesome. Santeria and other West Africa Diasporic Religions, also called ATR (African Traditional Religion), are fluid, adaptable, and from my perspective, effective, so Hugo Chavez might do well to heed the words of the Cuban babalawo (priests) who in their annual New Year “Letter of the Year” recommended that the Venezuelan President seek them out. Lazaro Cuesta, one of the babalawo said their priests are willing:

Whichever house he knocks upon, I expect he will receive the help he requires.

From the perspective of Santeria, Cuesta was referring not only to physical domiciles of the priests, but also to the casas (houses or worship) of the orisha, the Afro-Cuban gods, and the various lineages within each orisha’s worship, with their own initiated priest.

Chavez is currently in Cuba recovering from surgery for cancer; the type of cancer has not been reported. The babalawo will not perform a healing ritual for Chavez unless they are asked. Technically, someone aside from Chavez could ask for his healing, in the same way that Masses can be offered for someone by another.

Eleggua is the road opener and the messenger of the gods, and is syncreticized with Jesus, especially in the aspect of  the Infant of Atocha, and thus his altars often are decorated with toys and games, as well as the traditional rum and cigars. San Lazaro/St. Lazarus represents Babalú-Ayé, the orisha in charge of health and disease, especially epidemics, cancer, HIV/AIDS.

My past few New Year’s Eves have been really, well, not the best way to start the new year.  But sorry to argue with Bono and U2–this year something changed on New Year’s Day!

SURPRISE! Like always, New Year’s Eve companionship (when I had it, because sometimes I escaped parties early and stayed with the dogs, may they rest in peace, so they wouldn’t freak out over gunfire) was excellent; but this year somehow got off to a more optimistic start and has stayed that way. Men revealed themselves to be gentlemen, as opposed to men who were uncovered as lying cads (those new years holiday 2005/2006 and 2009/10 sucked); women were kind and more beautiful than ever. Plus there was a high speed chase through the Valley televised around 9:30 as I rested at home after six-course dinner (amuse-bouche; oysters with caviar and champagne foam or truffled eggs for appetizer; followed by the temptation of either house smoked/cured sea trout or the best steak tartare I’ve ever tasted; a choice of butter poached lobster or prime New York strip; and to finish either cheese or chocolate pots de creme. yes, I went chocolate. (Best of all, my friend Skip was cooking along with Chef Tim at Papilles, which is my local dining hall, so it was pretty cool).

Skip’s wife Stacy runs a company called Iconic PinUps, and I boldly had her and her partner Carol shoot me as a pin up girl for my Krampus gift to myself (To offset the meals at Papilles, I now work out 3-5 days a week, and now have three part time jobs as opposed to one, so maybe the whole Obama economic recovery thing is actually working!).

I overheard the best thing last night as I waited for my dude roommate Mark Ebner to pick me up after my return to Papilles for the New Year’s Eve toast. A couple walked by me outside and the guy said:

And then she tore the bow tie off my face and I was ‘What the fuck?!’

Uh, maybe you shouldn’t wear a bow tie on your face?

It got weirder in England where:

A spokesman for Norfolk Constabulary said: “Police are seeking a group of four people, two of whom were dressed as Oompa Loompas, who attacked a male on a night-out.

“Two of the males were dressed as Oompa Loompas from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory with painted orange faces and dyed green hair and were wearing hooped tops.”

The spokesman added: “One of the males in the group then pushed the victim to the floor before he got up.

“He was then hit on the head, fell to the floor and hit again.”

Ahhh, when Ooompa Loompas attack….

I always make Hopping’ John, black-eyed peas (coins) with greens (folding money); other friends have pancake breakfasts (pancakes being “gold coins”). Here are some other New Years Day superstitions. Do you have any?

I just feel this is going to be a good year, and hope you all feel the same way. And that we’re correct in our beliefs!

Best of all, look at what 2013 backwards spells… And can’t we all use a little of that?

I had 70 people over for Hexmess/Krampus/Saturnalia! We had goose, ham, steak, cornish game hens, and tons of sides, plus home cured gravlax–all pot luck. I hope your holidays were joyful and that 2013, which backwards is Eros, will be just that!