Late Night: Smells Like Women and Gold!

 

A New Jersey Catholic school has banned swearing for female students — but not for the boys:

Female students at a Catholic high school in northern New Jersey have taken a “no-cursing” pledge at the request of school administrators, though some question why no such demand was made of male students.

Lori Flynn, a teacher who organized the campaign at Queen of Peace High School in North Arlington, told The Record of Woodland Park there is no double-standard. She says that while males weren’t asked to take the vow, they have been asked not to swear when girls are near…A pitcher on the school’s baseball team,  said he can’t help shouting obscenities from the mound after mishaps, and he didn’t expect that to change.

But potty mouths aren’t the reason women can’t be Catholic priests. That ban is because, explains Dominican Fr. Wojciech Giertych, the theologian of the papal household,

Women have a special access to the heart of Jesus in a very vivid way of approaching him, of touching him, of praying with him, of pouring ointment on his head, of kissing his feet.

And plus, says Giertych in his interview with the National Catholic Register

Priests love the church in a characteristically “male way” when they show concern “about structures, about the buildings of the church, about the roof of the church which is leaking, about the bishops’ conference, about the concordat between the church and the state.

Also, vaginas.

The Catholic Church hasn’t weighed in yet about a British businessman who has a nose growing out of his arm:

Experts at University College London say the new nose will look exactly the same as the man’s original one, and hope it will even have a sense of smell.

The trial marks the first time a full nose has been grown from scratch, and could in future be used as a therapy for patients such as soldiers and car crash victims, the Daily Mail reported.

Science has found a way to turn waste into gold, which isn’t quite the same as turning bread and wine into human flesh and blood, and definitely something that would have gotten you burned at the stake:

A group of scientists has identified a bacterium that turns toxic water-soluble gold into microscopic nuggets of the solid precious metal, reveals the paper published Monday in Nature Chemical Biology.

Eureka!

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