Late Night: Does This Caulk Gun Make Me Look Short? Your Tax Dollars at Work

 

 

The Pentagon spends a lot of money on stuff that sucks–like bombs and drones. And drones with bombs. But seriously, spending $70 billion (yes, that’s with a B!) per Mother Jones on stuff like US Air Force

research on whether men were perceived as taller when they were holding a pistol than if they were simply wielding a caulk gun, paint brush or a power drill. Answer: Yes.

And something that already exists:

A smart phone ap designed to “help people manage their caffeine consumption to suit their lifestyles.”

And this really disgusting concept:

The Department of Defense spent $1.5 million to develop a new twist on beef jerky. The savory snack is designed to be more like a “fruit roll-up” than a Slim Jim, and to double as a sandwich filling if necessary….the jerky industry is thriving without the help of taxpayer dollars.

The creepiest:

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has spent more than $1 million to “foster a rebirth of wonder” and to make space travel to other solar systems feasible in the next century. To that end, the agency paid $100,000 to sponsor a strategy workshop in September featuring a session called “Did Jesus die for Klingons, too?” on the theological threat to Christianity that the discovery of life on other planets might pose.

Which kinda crosses the line, since well, it presumes that Christianity should be the prevailing religion in the military.  For good measure, you tax dollars also went to sponsor

A related conference devoted to the future of space travel included a workshop on “what intersteller explorers might wear.” (Hint: Not polos and khakis.) The event featured an “intergalatic gala” for which attendees were asked to come in “starship cocktail attire.”

Oh gods, imgaine Paula Broadwell in this!

21 Responses to "Late Night: Does This Caulk Gun Make Me Look Short? Your Tax Dollars at Work"
Lisa Derrick | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:03 pm 1

Does anyone here speak Klingon?


DrDick | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:10 pm 2

Lisa!

“Defense” is the largest single line item in the budget and that does not even include all the defense related expenses hidden away in other department’s budgets (like nuclear weapons development in the DoE). We spend almost as much on “defense” as the rest of the world combined. If we slashed the defense budget by 2/3 we would still spend more than the next highest country by a large margin. It has long been abundantly clear that we are not getting our money’s worth out of that.


cmaukonen | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:13 pm 3

the jerky industry is thriving without the help of taxpayer dollars

I thought the jerky industry WAS the pentagon.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:13 pm 4

Tragic


DrDick | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:15 pm 5
In response to cmaukonen @ 3

No, you are thinking of the jerkoff industry.


cmaukonen | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:17 pm 6
In response to DrDick @ 5

Ooppps…my bad.


Frank33 | Tuesday November 20, 2012 08:22 pm 7

Bimbo Goldiggers in Slutty Outfits

Where do I buy some?


Larue-Clique Member Since LibbyGate | Tuesday November 20, 2012 09:09 pm 8
In response to Frank33 @ 7

Debbie Schlussel is an ignorant, lying neocon AIPAC lovin Christian Fundie toad who wants to nuke the ME cuz, ascension . . . and ‘sides, she makes lots of money from and is perceived as a really important person to her neocon and AIPAC benefactors, and Faux Nooze.

Dear Debbie: Jilly Kelly is a Christian, not a Muslim, . . . but I DO believe she, her sister Natalie, and Paula Broadwell are all spies, or at least assets.

Run by AIPAC.

Debbie’s lil diatribe of bullshit is kabuki smoke to hide the spooks connection and the Israeli infiltration and influence on our government and military not so intelligence agencies.

Mz. D, GREAT vid find and diary, KAPLAH!


Frank33 | Tuesday November 20, 2012 09:17 pm 9

Natalie is my favorite. And she is NOT a bimbo!


CTuttle | Tuesday November 20, 2012 09:49 pm 10

…Which kinda crosses the line, since well, it presumes that Christianity should be the prevailing religion in the military…

*heh* Let me tell ya, Lisa, there sure ain’t any Atheists in those trenches when the bullets fly…! ;-)


Starbuck | Tuesday November 20, 2012 09:53 pm 11

I don’t speak Klingon but I know how to clean up on them!


CTuttle | Tuesday November 20, 2012 10:01 pm 12

You know what pissed me off during my entire 20 yrs, was the fact the Army refused to stamp the “Baha’i Faith” on my dogtags, instead,”No Rel. Pref” was their tired answer, despite trying to do so at every PCS move, major deployment, etc…! 8-(


RodL2 | Tuesday November 20, 2012 10:24 pm 13

Regards:
“The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has spent more than $1 million to “foster a rebirth of wonder” and to make space travel to other solar systems feasible in the next century. To that end, the agency paid $100,000 to sponsor a strategy workshop in September featuring a session called “Did Jesus die for Klingons, too?” on the theological threat to Christianity that the discovery of life on other planets might pose.”

I thought the fundies were already mulling this over, “just in case.” Which gives me hope that something is afoot that we’re about to be told, but first must be stamped okay by churches and the pentagon. Wait, that almost makes me a conspiracy nut.


cwaltz | Tuesday November 20, 2012 10:50 pm 14

Boy I sure am glad that the DoD is going to be ready for an independant audit by 2017. I mean
I can completely understand why they’d save these kind of programs while discussing how the people who go overseas at our government’s behest for years need to take cuts if we touch the sacred cow.


basilbeast | Tuesday November 20, 2012 10:53 pm 15
In response to DrDick @ 5

Ah, you refer to Dr. Flexi Jerkoff?

Must be a CIA – Air Force collaboration.


Teddy Partridge | Tuesday November 20, 2012 11:21 pm 16

Really, this is horrifying.


eqbal00 | Tuesday November 20, 2012 11:34 pm 17

“Men Who Stare at Goats”


zapkitty | Wednesday November 21, 2012 12:45 am 18

Well, you seem to have been expertly trolled :)

Great for snark value but I’d caution folks against getting too outraged too quickly.

Coburn has a bad habit of conflating events and costs in order to troll for just such reactions.

A troll. He’s a deficit troll, in fact, looking to spark deficit hysterics.

And you know exactly where that ends.

And as for the Klingon Crusades… well, no. Just no. That part wasn’t a military project. DARPA does deep research. DARPA also sponsors deep research.

Coburn, a creationist, doesn’t hold much with that.

And so when DARPA provided seed money as a prize for the following challenge…

To create “a viable and sustainable non-governmental organization for persistent, long-term, private-sector investment into the myriad of disciplines needed to make long-distance space travel possible.

… the winning result was the 100 Year Starship Project.

With a very different emphasis than what Coburn implies.

That one specific panel at that one symposium was neither military-themed nor military-funded.

Same thing for the “intergalactic gala.”

And so… you were trolled :)


drack37 | Wednesday November 21, 2012 12:58 am 19

If you thought it was funny/sad/ridiculous to think of young Mitt Romney knocking on doors in France to turn its people into Mormons, imagine how the rest of the intelligent universe will respond to the Pentagon’s JudeoChristian pitch. “What? Who? An evil talking snake and a good man nailed to a cross? You mean, the answer to all our problems is to worship an apocryphal Middle Eastern rabbi from your planet to whom you yourselves don’t even listen?”…..

Oh yeah, that’s what they told Native Americans, too. Then they started enslaving them to bring them civilization. Soon after, they were killing them in order to save their souls anyhow.

Sounds as good as any other Pentagon plan so far!


johnnyred | Wednesday November 21, 2012 09:56 am 20
In response to drack37 @ 19

Good points. I think the rest of the intelligent universe will be astounded that we still have religion. We put away the sun-god centuries ago, didn’t we? But it does serve as a good excuse for murder and mayhem.


goldenboy | Wednesday November 21, 2012 10:28 am 21
In response to CTuttle @ 10

You know about Atheists in fox holes because you are a war veteran and converted.If not than keep quiet about things you know nothing about.That B.S. line is a dumb religious talking point based on wishful “Thinking”If people would take the time to check out the start of all religions they would find that they all are cults and then morphed into main line religions once they accumulated $1oo million.”Jim Jones,Father Devine,Jim Smith -Mormon,Jesus Christ ,Mohamed-Muslim and Abraham-Jewish,just to name a few.When checked out you will find that they are all based on improbable fantasies.”Have a good day”


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