68% of Registered Republicans, 49% of Registered Democrats Believe in Demonic Possession

Why wasn’t demonic possession addressed in the Presidential debates?! Demons are obviously as important an issue as low/no taxes, denying reproductive and LGBT rights, and keeping semi-automatic rifles in the hands of God (and demon) fearing Americans, since according to a  poll conducted by Public Policy Polling, 68% of registered Republican voters believe in demonic possession. And it’s not just the GOP– 49% of Democratic voters also believe that demons can possess us.

Granted, one could argue that “demons” are negative impulses, psychological aberrations, mental illness etc., but in theology demons are disincarnate entities which occupy people and places and cause all kind of havoc. However, demons can be controlled and mastered, but this should only be done by individuals with proper training, not by anyone hanging out their shingle as an exorcist-or by depressed metal heads who have played Black Sabbath records backwards one too many times.

Nutbags are all too ready to blame anything and everything they dislike, fear or can’t explain on demons, witchcraft, voodoo, curses, and related supernatural concepts (which in all fairness, I believe in some of that stuff, too, though I use Occam’s Razor,  lex parsimoniae, first, before exploring other worldly causes, since resorting to “Curses! Witchcraft!” as the go-to for everything from lost keys and flickering light bulbs to a bad date is exhausting and silly. Usually there are simple, mundane explanations for stuff).

Some major questions that should be explored regarding demonic possession: How many politicians do believers feel are possessed? Is outsourcing of jobs caused by demonic possession? Can Wall Street be exorcised? And what strange malignant force, what ancient unnamed evil controls Dick Cheney?

73 Responses to "68% of Registered Republicans, 49% of Registered Democrats Believe in Demonic Possession"
Alex Gordon | Friday November 2, 2012 01:13 pm 1

You are hilarious. Great post.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:10 pm 2

And 100% of people who believe in demonic possession are fucking delusional.


Suzanne | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:11 pm 3

ditto. great post lisa!


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:12 pm 4

I believe in republican demons…


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:14 pm 5

All Republicans are possessed. either that or they are simply sociopathic monsters who should be locked up.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:15 pm 6
In response to jayt @ 4

They certainly want to destroy humanity.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:15 pm 7
In response to Margaret @ 2

As are all Republicans.


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:15 pm 8

I refuse to take seriously any entity that lets itself be exorcised by Bobby Jindal.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:15 pm 9
In response to DrDick @ 5

I’ve always said to be conservative, one has to be a bit of a sociopath. Oh, and a narcissist.


Twain | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:17 pm 10

They must have done this poll in Kansas or possibly Oklahoma. I just don’t believe those numbers could be correct. America produces some very strange people but this is too far.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:18 pm 11
In response to Margaret @ 9

Yep.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:18 pm 12
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 8

TRue, if you ain’t got more mojo than that sorry assed mofo, you are a sad excuse for a demon.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:20 pm 13
In response to Twain @ 10

It is the Daily Fucker reporting, so a wee tad of discretion is called for.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:22 pm 14

The thing is, just because science hasn’t yet explained a thing, doesn’t mean there is a supernatural cause for it. In fact, evidence would suggest there is an explanation that doesn’t involve supernatural explanations as science has yet to identify and confirm any of those things. I’ll never get why so many people believe it must have been aliens that gave us cell phone technology for example, (which science has explained), because apparently humans are incapable of inventing neat stuff like that. It strikes me as no different than ancient humanity describing the Earth as dirt on the back of an enormous turtle or comets are harbingers from the gods.


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:24 pm 15
In response to Twain @ 10

“I’m very pro-life. And after-life,.”


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:26 pm 16
In response to jayt @ 15

I’m more mid-life.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:27 pm 17
In response to Margaret @ 14

We actually know of a vast array of factors that can produce hallucinatory experience and symptoms comparable to those attributed to possession.


cmaukonen | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:28 pm 18

Why does this somehow make perfect sense ?


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:29 pm 19
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 16

Given that I have already survived 80% of my estimated span (though I intend to do my best to my best to beat the odds), I am more late life.


cmaukonen | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:30 pm 20
In response to jayt @ 15

Does this mean you are pro-dead and un-dead ?


Shoto | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:30 pm 21

How many politicians do believers feel are possessed?

Um…all of them? Wait, that was a trick question, right?


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:30 pm 22
In response to DrDick @ 17

True. One of the chief ones being conservatism and Limbaugh kool-aid.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:31 pm 23
In response to cmaukonen @ 18

Because far too many Americans are poorly educated and at least semidelusional?


Shoto | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:32 pm 24
In response to Margaret @ 9

I’ve always said to be conservative, one has to be a bit of a sociopath. Oh, and a narcissist.

Also, too: An asshole.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:32 pm 25
In response to cmaukonen @ 20

Well, I’m not pro undead! In fact, I have a friend and co-worker who, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I’m going to shoot before he has a chance to turn. A zombie Jimmy could wipe out the city single handedly!


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:33 pm 26
In response to Margaret @ 25

I applaud your pro-active approach.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:33 pm 27
In response to Shoto @ 24

LMAO! I thought that was the natural outcome of being a narcissistic sociopath….


Kelly Canfield | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:33 pm 28

Demons! Always a favorite…

I would also like a Djinn and Tonic. Who’s tending bar ’round here?


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:34 pm 29
In response to DrDick @ 26

Somewhat unexpectedly, so does live Jimmy.


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:34 pm 30
In response to cmaukonen @ 20

oh yeah. A lot of the non-dead get on my nerves though…


Shoto | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:35 pm 31
In response to Margaret @ 27

Good point.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:37 pm 32
In response to Margaret @ 29

Sounds like you chose your friends well. ;-)


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:38 pm 33
In response to Kelly Canfield @ 28

Make mine a device used to turn an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:39 pm 34
In response to Margaret @ 25

Remind me please. What day is that Apocalypse thing happening? I’m definitely calling in that day. “Sorry, can’t come in today – I’m still alive.”


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:39 pm 35
In response to Kelly Canfield @ 28

Coming down the bar at yah!


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:40 pm 36
In response to jayt @ 34

There really are days when I pray that the Rapture will come.


Surtt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:40 pm 37

Does kind of enplane why were are expected to vote for the lesser of two evils…


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:41 pm 38
In response to DrDick @ 32

He has no illusions about how much he loves to eat. I told another co-worker, who wanted to make sure Jimmy saw a note to him that he should write his message on a sandwich and leave it for Jimmy to find. That got an enormous laugh.


Surtt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:41 pm 39

explain*


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:42 pm 40
In response to jayt @ 34

Hopefully before Rmoney takes office, if he ever gets elected President.


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:43 pm 41
In response to Margaret @ 40

I guess in that case we can hope the Maya descendants are wrong about the New Agers being wrong….


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:43 pm 42
In response to Surtt @ 39

Can’t figure out the “reply” button and you want is to take you seriously?


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:44 pm 43
In response to Margaret @ 38

Also has a good sense of humor and a lack of self importance. Both good qualities.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:45 pm 44
In response to DrDick @ 36

I look at that as a win-win. If the word of the Bible is correct and only the righteous will be lifted up, then I’m going to eternal paradise but if the fundies are right and they are getting lifted up, then bye-bye all the homobigots and hello a whole lotta free stuff!


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:47 pm 45
In response to DrDick @ 36

At least all of my friends will still be here….


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:47 pm 46
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 41

I never put much stock in the end of days by way of the Meso-American calender. After all, there is another long count that starts when the current one ends. That one will end <arch 26, 2407.


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:48 pm 47
In response to Margaret @ 44

At the very least, if all the fundies get Raptured and we get left behind, we’ll get our pick of a whole lot of unopened King James Bibles.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:49 pm 48
In response to DrDick @ 43

He’s a great guy, aside from an unfortunately strong belief in deities. But religious people have never bothered me, just the ones who use it as an excuse to hate.


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:49 pm 49
In response to Margaret @ 46

I don’t put much stock in The End as forecast on any calendar. It’s not as if any of them can predict the expansion of the sun into a red giant.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:51 pm 50
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 47

I never got that anyway. If the “righteous” are gone, why is the Earth going to be left in chaos again? I mean, I don’t need a bunch of superstitious people telling me how to behave. Do you? I think we’ll get along swimmingly without them.


skepticdog | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:55 pm 51
In response to Margaret @ 50

I think you have all got it wrong. God has promised to “rapture” the religious to space to restore sanity to the world.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:55 pm 52
In response to jayt @ 45

Either we have that, or we get to enjoy the faces of all the Talibangelicals when they realize that they are not among the Elect.


skepticdog | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:59 pm 53

Ever notice the similarity between the “War of the World” where the clothes are left behind and the rapture. Was it a secret message from Tom Cruise?


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 08:59 pm 54
In response to skepticdog @ 51

That would certainly be entertaining for a while. What about re-entry though?


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:00 pm 55
In response to DrDick @ 52

Now that just sounds like a dick move to laugh at them. Count me in!!


Kelly Canfield | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:02 pm 56
In response to Margaret @ 54

Same as anything/anyone else; terminal velocity and/or burn up on re-entry…depending on trajectory, of course. :)


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:02 pm 57
In response to DrDick @ 52

That also has the potential for riotous hilarity.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:04 pm 58
In response to Kelly Canfield @ 56

Hmmm…let’s hope for burn up. The terminal velocity scenario could get really messy. Of course in that case that would probably hit the ground frozen…


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:07 pm 59

Is it now one hour earlier or later than it was a minute ago?


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:07 pm 60
In response to Margaret @ 58

I vote for burn. Less toxic waste to dispose of.


skepticdog | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:07 pm 61
In response to Margaret @ 54

Organic fertilizer.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:07 pm 62
In response to jayt @ 59

Sure. If you’re on Nova Scotia time.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:08 pm 63
In response to jayt @ 59

Neither, here in the Northern Rockies. We still have two more hours, but then it will be an hour earlier.


Margaret | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:09 pm 64

Think I’m going to go to bed even though I get an extra hour tonight. Oya all.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:09 pm 65
In response to Margaret @ 64

Night! Take care and sleep well.


jayt | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:11 pm 66
In response to DrDick @ 63

sounds like Einstein is involved in this somehow…


caleb36 | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:15 pm 67

I have a great comment to make as soon as my head stops making 360 degree turns.


DrDick | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:15 pm 68
In response to jayt @ 66

That or Fig Newtons. Think I will toddle off as well. Cracked a rib this evening and I am in a bit of pain.


EvilDrPuma | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:25 pm 69
In response to DrDick @ 68

I’ve been there. Not many things less comfortable than a cracked rib.


nonpartisanliberal | Saturday November 3, 2012 09:30 pm 70

What a stupid country. It’s no wonder it’s going backwards.


nixonclinbushbama | Saturday November 3, 2012 11:02 pm 71

I question this poll.


ottogrendel | Sunday November 4, 2012 04:29 am 72

What is the surprise? One can’t be a monotheist and not believe in demons anymore than one can be a fireman and not believe in fires. And for Christians, demon possession is specifically discussed in the Bible. Or is that one of those many passages that one gets to choose whether or not to ignore? Besides, if one has already decided to believe in the eternal salvation of cannibalizing their zombie god, what’s faith in demon possession by comparison? I’m surprised that the percentage of registered Dems isn’t higher.


ottogrendel | Sunday November 4, 2012 04:49 am 73

“Why wasn’t demonic possession addressed in the Presidential debates?!”

Obvious answer: Both candidates are possessed by demons and they didn’t want to give the game away.

“28 And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way. 29 And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time? 30 And there was a good way off from them an herd of many swine feeding. 31 So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine. 32 And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters. 33 And they that kept them fled, and went their ways into the city, and told every thing, and what was befallen to the possessed of the devils. 34 And, behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus: and when they saw him, they besought him that he would depart out of their coasts.” –KJV Bible, Matt 8:28-34

That last verse is the best. Perhaps if Jesus had whipped some loaves and fishes on them they wouldn’t have been so pissed that he destroyed their livestock? Oh, well.

Either demon possession is real or the life of Christ is a fiction. Who are these so-called Christians who don’t believe in demon possession?


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