For five zany days, thousands head to Cave in Rock, Illinois for the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, where they chug Faygo, dance to bands (including of course Insane Clown Posse, Master P and the world’s most famous Michael Jackson impersonator), fornicate, ride Ferris wheels, and worry about infiltration by law enforcement. Which considering the amount of firepower shown in this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos’ informercial, might be a valid concern. Oh Cheech and Chong will be there, along with Bobcat Goldthwait. And wrestling. And unsanctioned mixed martial arts fighting. Plus something called “Bloody Mania.” And a noontime barbecue in case you get tired of grilling pop tarts on a Hibachi.

I wonder if there will be voter registration teams on hand?

This will not end well.