Late Night: Is Your Cat Registered to Vote? Rick Scott Wants to Know

 

Governor Rick Scott filed a lawsuit against the Obama Administration over access to a database that the Florida Secretary of State believes will provide more accurate information on the citizenship status of Florida voters, though the DHS says looking at the database isn’t gonna help him in his cockamamie hunt for ee–lee-gull voters. Here’s what Florida’s governor is spewing to justify his suing–and even Fox’s Neil Cavuto seemed awestruck by the insanity:

The Florida’s Secretary of State office will be filing a lawsuit against the Department of Homeland Security to give us that database.We want to have fair, honest elections in our state and so we have been put in a position that we have to sue the federal government to get this information.

Okay, Rick, we get it. In Florida, cats can’t vote. In fact, no matter where you live, cats can’t vote. Not even Mr. Bruce.

45 Responses to "Late Night: Is Your Cat Registered to Vote? Rick Scott Wants to Know"
DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:07 pm 1

Lisa!

My cat is not registered to vote, though my old cat was old enough to do so when she passed.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:16 pm 2

Mr Bruce stays out of politics, except LGBT rights. But he doesn’t vote. He just loves everyone.


tejanarusa | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:17 pm 3

I am awestruck by the insanity, not to mention chutzpah,of this.

Does it come from being a CEO, accustomed to having his orders obeyed, and punishing those who don’t?
Or maybe it’s from being aCEO who committed millions of dollars in fraud and yet skated, managing to become chief executive of a whole state instead?

These people just don’t give up. Thank goodness the DOJ is pushing back on this one issue, at least.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:18 pm 4
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 2

Same with Smoke, but I am sure that they are both smarter than the average Florida voter and would never vote for Voldermort.


BevW | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:18 pm 5

Is it alright if the cat is a registered Republican?


catch22oy | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:19 pm 6

Here’s another instance (and it won’t be the last) of Government databases meant to keep us safe (?) being used to cause mischief.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:19 pm 7

I still say the best solution is for Obama to send Janet Napolitano down to Florida to personally punch Voldemort in the nose.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:19 pm 8
In response to tejanarusa @ 3

This is sadly all too typical of our CEOs these days.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:20 pm 9
In response to BevW @ 5

Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:22 pm 10
In response to DrDick @ 9

They can’t. Republicans don’t have friends, they have allies of convenience.


BevW | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:24 pm 11
In response to DrDick @ 9

Even cats?


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:24 pm 12
In response to BevW @ 11

Especially cats!


BeachPopulist | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:27 pm 13

Hey, Gov Rick gets his way, Southern Dragon’s house will lose ten votes!


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:28 pm 14

So today I was driving to the dentist, and Rush Windbag was blathering about how the only private sector Obama recognizes is the 1%, like WalMart, not the mom and pop hardware store. And Iwas all “Uh Rush, what’s your income level?”

I tune back in a while later and he spends his last hour talking about his super large gianormo Apple computer with 8 terrabytes of storage and how he has to get a new one now, since his is two years old, but he doesn’t want to get the super Mac power book, and blah blah blah…and again, I was, “Wait, how many people can afford to replace their computer every two years, let alone afford a computer with 8 terrabytes of storage?”


BevW | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:32 pm 15
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 14

Ask how much stock he owns in Apple.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:32 pm 16
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 14

Rush needs eight terabytes just to hold his collection of pictures of himself.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:35 pm 17
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 16

Not to mention his “vacation pictures” from the Dominican Republic.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:35 pm 18

My cat, officially named Cahnstance C. (for Cat) Cahn, is too occupied with figuring out whether her real name is Pretty Kitty or Foodie Food to worry about voting.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:37 pm 19
In response to eCAHNomics @ 18

Smoke has been quite convinced that her real name was either “Fuzzbutt” or “Doofus”.


4cdave | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:38 pm 20

Consider the linkage with the story today about Conyers wanting Holder to resign over Fast & Furious.

If Holder were to resign, Obama would have to appoint another Attorney General, and the Senate would never consent to one, or even to have a vote.

A DoJ without an AG would be less effective in, for example, pushing back against voter suppression.

The important takeaway is this: Romney has no path to the White House without Florida. If Obama wins it (again), it’s all over. Obama can win without it, Romney can’t.

The entire election may be nothing more than $2 billion spent on Florida. The Republican convention will be there. It’s legitimately a toss-up state, though the last poll I saw had Obama up 4, within the margin of error.

That’s what this Rick Scott business is about. He has to deliver Florida to Romney, and the laws are only for the little people.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:38 pm 21
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 7

More people have been killed by dogs than terriss in the past year. One person I related this priceless factoid to suggested that DoHS reorient their mission to dog catching. (Though my version is that dogs should be replaced by terriss as man’s best friend.) I responded that dogface Napolitano would be just the person to head the mission.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:40 pm 22
In response to DrDick @ 19

You are sooooo cruel.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:42 pm 23
In response to 4cdave @ 20

DoJ pushback against voter suppression.

Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:49 pm 24
In response to eCAHNomics @ 21

Second brain fart of the evening. Meant terriss should replace dogs as man’s best friend.

On my third brain fart tonight could someone just shoot me & put me & everyone else out of my misery.

Thanks.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:54 pm 25
In response to eCAHNomics @ 18

Mr. Bruce is known as Lord Fluffington, Don Fluffucci of Furmania, Murry Flufferman, and Swiffer. And he responds to all of them.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:55 pm 26

Lisa Derrick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:55 pm 27
In response to eCAHNomics @ 21

And how many have been killed by CATS? Therefore cats are league with DHS. Or something.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:57 pm 28
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 25

Your cat is a lot more high class and intelligent than mine.

And I am not ashamed to admit it.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:59 pm 29
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 27

I have long suspected that cat’s are covert operatives of PTB and that, cat-lover that I am, I am a cover.


yellowsnapdragon | Tuesday June 12, 2012 08:59 pm 30

Abner hacks voting machines. One cat one vote is for sissies.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:04 pm 31
In response to yellowsnapdragon @ 30

Ha.

I have also suspected my cat of hacking my puter.

She logs on when I am not around. Plays on all the cat happy websites, as well as the ones that will get me into trouble with NSA, then knows how to erase her paw tracks before I get back online.

One schmart kitteh.


marymccurnin | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:07 pm 32

My cat has declined to vote in the next election. As a matter of fact, she said that she would rather choke on a hair ball first given the choices.


DrDick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:08 pm 33

Time for me to toddle off. Take care all.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:12 pm 34
In response to marymccurnin @ 32

Me too.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:15 pm 35
In response to eCAHNomics @ 28

Mr. Bruce may not actually be a cat. He lacks certain feline traits: No hairballs. Lack of desire to scratch the hand that pets him. Won’t chase moths. Declines catnip. Has never knocked anything off a table. Doesn’t step on computer keyboard or my body when I am lying down.

He does however react to bird calls. We played them on the computer and he was fascinated by the sparrows, doves and jays, but when he heard the hawk, he cowered. So some of his hardware is accurate.


eCAHNomics | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:22 pm 36

My cat is telling me it’s sleepy time.

I must obey.

Gnite to all.


Teddy Partridge | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:23 pm 37

More importantly, cats shouldn’t vote.


marymccurnin | Tuesday June 12, 2012 09:34 pm 38
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 35

Maybe he is just a mellow puddy.


norecovery | Tuesday June 12, 2012 10:32 pm 39

He will also be reporting his findings to the Catfood Commission, so that future legislation can be drafted to further reduce Social Security payments to seniors that are owned by cats (since they already have plenty of cat food).


zapkitty | Wednesday June 13, 2012 02:26 am 40

That’s what vote-by-mail is for!

You simply vote as your cat instructs you to… if you know what’s good for you, that is.


bluefloridia | Wednesday June 13, 2012 04:12 am 41

Jeb Bush was better at robbing people of their voices than this crook. Not imaginative enough to do anything but steal from Medicare.


Cynicman | Wednesday June 13, 2012 05:20 am 42
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 2

You have discovered the truth…these people never stop. They come after the rights of the poor, the brown, and the elderly constantly. They do it in shifts so they can undermine us while we sleep. They never stop, and they will consume us unless we become as relentless.


maa8722 | Wednesday June 13, 2012 06:14 am 43

Here in Mass I might have better luck registering the dog than any of my five cats.

Cats are not listed on the annual mandatory city/town census form, but dogs are. Go figure.


judybrowni | Wednesday June 13, 2012 01:50 pm 44

Felix is only 16, but I’d love to keep him alive up to voting age!


Phoenix Woman | Thursday June 14, 2012 11:11 am 45

Mr. Bruce is adorable! Though I do like the Basement Cat in the video. What did they do to get her to play with the paper, dip it in catnip oil or something?


Sorry but the comments are closed on this post

Close