Late Night FDL: GOP Candidates Go Phallic With Code Names

Mitten$ Rmoney and Rick “Frothy” Santorum’s Secret Service code names–which the candidates chose themselves–reflect a certain cockiness and focus on their manliness, and in Romney’s case, a slight Oedipal overreach around. Rmoney’s code name “Javelin,” hypothesizes GQ which first reported the top sekrit pseudonyms,

is a reference to the ’60s muscle car made by American Motors Corporation, the company once run by George Romney.

Mitten$’ dad George ran for President in 1968, despite being born on foreign soil. And of course, javelins are long sticks thrown in track competitions, so the phallic symbolism is rather clear.

Rick Santorum chose an even more multi-layered named, “Petrus,” Latin for Peter, and translating to rock. Along from its popular meaning throughout the English speaking world as a slang term for “penis,” “Peter” is, of course, Jesus’ sidekick, his second in command, the “rock” on which Jesus wanted to build his church.

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Peter also famously denied Jesus three times, making him kind of a weasel, and proving that Jesus was psychic.

And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.

Choosing this nickname is pretty self-aggrandizing. Like, is Santorum saying he’s gonna be Peter as in Jesus’ best bud; and if elected, God help us all, build (his version) of Jesus’ church in America?

Ah, but there is a third even more secret meaning to Petrus: Château Pétrus is one of the world’s most expensive and lauded wines, hailing from a small estate in the Bordeaux region of France, with an average bottle price of $2,790, though prices for older bottles can easily rise to five figures.

So, elitist vintage? Jesus’ righthand dude deep in denial? Or just a dick?

Meanwhile, in response to “Game On,”–the execrably frothy Santorum singalong from teen sisters Camille and Haley Harris, who go by the name First Love Band — a 12-year old boy wrote this ditty and then directed the video himself:

38 Responses to "Late Night FDL: GOP Candidates Go Phallic With Code Names"
DrDick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:02 pm 1

Lisa!

Well, we always knew that they were a bunch of pricks and this just confirms it.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:06 pm 2

Hey hey! I wonder what Newter’s code name is?


cmaukonen | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:10 pm 3

Rick-O-Shay and Romoney.


Margaret | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:10 pm 4

Is Newt still “Shitter”?


KrisAinTX | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:10 pm 5
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 2

Nautilus.


KrisAinTX | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:11 pm 6

Is this where all the cool kids are? Thanks for the post, Lisa!


DrDick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:11 pm 7
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 2

If Calista has any say, Eunuch. I am pretty sure she has those locked up tight in a safe somewhere.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:11 pm 8

Leviathan


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:12 pm 9

Jugger-newt


Margaret | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:14 pm 10
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 9

Limpid Lizard, (with apologies to TK Ryan)


KrisAinTX | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:19 pm 11

Newt is probably something immature, like @TiffanysLOL6969.


Talcott | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:23 pm 12

Just a dick ;p

Eww Catholic Exegis ;)

http://carm.org/is-peter-the-rock

There are problems with the Roman Catholic position. First of all, when we look at the Greek of Matthew 16:18 we see something that is not obvious in the English. “…you are Peter (πέτρος, petros) and upon this rock (πέτρα, petra) I will build My church…” In Greek nouns have gender. It is similar to the English words actor and actress. The first is masculine and the second is feminine. Likewise, the Greek word “petros” is masculine; “petra” is feminine. Peter, the man, is appropriately referred to as Petros. But Jesus said that the rock he would build his church on was not the masculine “petros” but the feminine “petra.” Let me illustrate by using the words “actor” and “actress:” “You are the actor and with this actress I will make my movie.” Do see that the gender influences how a sentence is understood? Jesus was not saying that the church will be built upon Peter, but upon something else. What, then, does petra, the feminine noun, refer to?

The feminine “petra” occurs four times in the Greek New Testament:

* Matt. 16:18, “And I also say to you that you are Peter (petros), and upon this rock (petra) I will build My church; and the gates of Hades shall not overpower it.”
* Matt. 27:60, “and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock (petra); and he rolled a large stone against the entrance of the tomb and went away.”
* 1 Cor. 10:4, “and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock (petras) which followed them; and the rock (petra) was Christ.”
* 1 Pet. 2:8, speaking of Jesus says that he is “A stone of stumbling and a rock (petra) of offense”; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.”


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:23 pm 13
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 2

“Doucheus Maximus.”


DrDick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:25 pm 14
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 13

Not macho enough. More like Douche Cannon.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:32 pm 15
In response to DrDick @ 14

I wonder what these guys’ codenames would be if the Secret Service got to pick them.


Margaret | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:32 pm 16
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 13

Those are vaguely sexist. I thought they were supposed to be penis related?


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:37 pm 17

I always thought the Ford “Probe” was one of the most ludicrously named automobiles. It would be a particularly apt handle for a GOP candidate this year because they just LOVES them some government mandated vaginal ultrasounding.


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:41 pm 18

I tried to think of something that simultaneously conveys apoplexy and flaccidity but all I could come up with was “Newt Gingrich.”


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:42 pm 19
In response to ratfood @ 18

That was in reply to Margaret@16.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:44 pm 20
In response to ratfood @ 18

Cruel, but fair.


DrDick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:45 pm 21
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 15

Romney would be “Rambler.” Santorum would be “Frothy” (even the Secret Service knows that one). Gingrich would be “Newtron” (since he destroys all life in the area and leaves the buildings standing).


DrDick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:48 pm 22

Think I will call it an early night. Take care all.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:48 pm 23
In response to DrDick @ 21

Definitely “Frothy” for Santorum. If the SS guys were halfway clever, though, they might come up with “Robopol” for Romney.


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:53 pm 24
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 23

I suppose Richie Rich is too obvious. Maybe “moneybags.”


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:54 pm 25
In response to DrDick @ 22

Nighters.


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 08:55 pm 26

Wow, according to the huffpo header Mittens outspent Frothy 7 to 1 in Illinois. Yippee for us!


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:02 pm 27
In response to ratfood @ 26

That’s about all that keeps the Mittitron 3XK going…the ability to throw ungodly amounts of cash at every state he campaigns in.


Twain | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:06 pm 28

Frothy choosing Petrus tells you all you need to know about him. He sees himself as the Right Hand of God and that’s the end of that discussion. Scary man.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:11 pm 29
In response to Twain @ 28

Yup. Someone should have told him he wasn’t picking his confirmation name, for crying out loud.


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:11 pm 30
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 27

I was listening to Rachel Maddow attempt to describe the actual delegate allocation numbers. It isn’t possible and it doesn’t even really matter. Since few delegates are locked in one can reasonably assume they’ll choose establishment man Mitt before it’s over. Santorum is a trainwreck, only the truly delusional believe he could win in the general.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:18 pm 31

Santorum said he doesn’t care about unemployment. And his idea of turning America into ( his version of) a Chritian fundamentalist nation is horrifying.


Petrocelli | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:22 pm 32
In response to Twain @ 28

Y’all are thinking too highly of Frothy … his code name means Pets “r” us !


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:22 pm 33
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 31

In other words it’s okay if America becomes a third-world country and children starve but don’t do any of that gay stuff because that makes God really angry.


ratfood | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:28 pm 34
In response to Petrocelli @ 32

I’m pretty certain the Santorum family took a vacation with dead Aunt Edna tied to the roof of the car. In his defense at least they didn’t baptize her.


Twain | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:44 pm 35
In response to ratfood @ 34

LOL. Funny as always, Ratty.


Beerfart Liberal | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:48 pm 36
In response to ratfood @ 30

this is a media-made “contest.” Romney has the nomination in the bag and has had it in the bag for awhile. santorum is a nice story for them but there’s no contest here.


Twain | Tuesday March 20, 2012 09:49 pm 37
In response to Petrocelli @ 32

Frothy has certainly used the dog on the car issue against Mitt. Hard to believe he stopped talking about sex for a few minutes. Hi, Petro.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday March 20, 2012 10:05 pm 38

Night all!


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