Ohio Impotency Bill: Boner Drugs Would Require Note from Sex Partner

Ohio state senator Nina Turner is taking a stand for men’s health by introducing a bill which would require men to

see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotence

before being prescribed Viagra or similar drugs designed to raise the Titanic.

Shades of the French impotency trials! Long ago Catholic theologians declared that the sole purpose of marriage was to procreate; thus for centuries, the only way for a woman to get out of a bad marriage was an annulment obtained by charging her husband with injurious non-consumation. The French, being French, took this matter seriously, and  impotency trials reached a feverish height by the mid-1500s, continuing well into the 1700s, as aristocratic women had sufficient funds of their own to mount such suits before moving on to mount more fit suitors.

The accused husband would have to prove his manhood’s rampancy before the court and allow it to be tested for elastic tension, natural motion and proof of ejaculation, according the records of the time. If he failed to achieve lift off, along with the moon and stars, the poor chapped chappie had only one recourse: Trial by congress –and with not the Senate and House, but with the woman who was demanding the annulment. In a bed. With witnesses. This usually did not end in the man’s favor.

Now granted, thankfully things–like divorce laws–have changed somewhat since those times.  And most likely the majority of men requesting their doctors dose them with Viagra don’t have baby-making on their minds, if those ads on TV featuring silver foxes eying ladies past childbearing age (and wearing wedding rings) are to believed. And they’re only using erectile dysfunction with their wives, right?

Along with requiring men  who want a lift to bring a note from a (one hopes, verified) sexual partner–though I guess the dud dude could always forge a convincing one–Senator Turner’s bill would also require that men who take prescription anti-impotence drugs:

to be tested for heart problems, receive counseling about possible side effects and receive information about “pursuing celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.”

This seems utterly logical, for as Senator says:

Even the FDA recommends that doctors make sure that assessments are taken that target the nature of the symptoms, whether it’s physical or psychological. I certainly want to stand up for men’s health and take this seriously and legislate it the same way mostly men say they want to legislate a woman’s womb.

Because if it good for the goose, it’s good for gander.

 

[Historical reference: Napoleon's Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped by Tony Perrott]

2 Responses to "Ohio Impotency Bill: Boner Drugs Would Require Note from Sex Partner"
Teddy Partridge | Tuesday March 13, 2012 06:00 am 1

This bill is a perfect example of why women shouldn’t be permitted to serve in legislatures.


Margot | Tuesday March 13, 2012 12:29 pm 2

I love it. Although don’t you think it needs more of a waiting period? The man needs to wait for 3 days at his local pharmacy, and the pharmacy tech will say “Is Mr. X still waiting for his Viagra?” every 15 minutes.


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