One Million Moms No Match for Ellen Fans, Now Gunning for Sexy Plumbers

Teeth gnashing, hostile conservative, homophobic h8ters One Million Moms have dropped their mean-spirited call for retailer JC Penney to fire spokeswomen Ellen DeGeneres because the beloved talk show host is openly gay. One Million Mom spokesperson Monica Cole told One News Now:

Everyone works hard for their money, and they want to spend their money with companies that have the same values as them. And JC Penney stated that Ellen DeGeneres shares the same values that they do. So obviously, it’s not the same as Christians or conservatives, which is unfortunate [because] JC Penney was founded by a Christian man.

One Million Moms were excoriated by none other than bloviating Fox News pundit Bill O’Reilly who called the groups action

Un-American…wrong…a witch hunt

Cole explains that One Million Moms, a subsidiary of the rabid LGBT-loathing American Family Association, now has other fish to fry: They’ve rallied members to call for sponsors to drop their adds on ABC’s new comedy series GCB, and they’ve got their sandy panties in a tightly wadded bunch over this commercial:

The Clorox Company introduces the Liquid-Plumr Double Impact Snake and Gel System in this ad which is full of sexual innuendos as well. They are attempting to use sex to sell a product to unclog drains…The commercial starts off with a woman in a supermarket daydreaming about what this new Liquid-Plumr product has to offer. She says, “Double impact,” twice as she reads the bottle. In her dream she is at home and answers the door to find a sexy plumber… She says come on in and he walks upstairs. The doorbell rings again and it is a second sexy plumber…

Then she wakes up to reality to find the two men in the supermarket. She flirts by giving sexy eyes to the one man in the deli slicing meat and the other in produce holding two melons. These two men are the same as in her dream. It may be coincidence, but the man in produce is standing beside cucumbers with a price sign behind him reading 69 cents.

One wonders what they would have thought about  the Ty-D-Bol ads which featured a woman in her bathroom talking to the little man in the boat.

26 Responses to "One Million Moms No Match for Ellen Fans, Now Gunning for Sexy Plumbers"
marymccurnin | Thursday March 8, 2012 04:49 pm 1

All those One Million Moms must be really, really bored. Someone needs to send them all to their rooms.


Teddy Partridge | Thursday March 8, 2012 05:11 pm 2

Think of the liberating sexual energy One Million Moms could release upon the world, if there were actually One Million Moms, which there aren’t. There’s about eight guys, I think.

Great ads.


Buford | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:19 pm 3

I don’t understand… if adding sex to a product enhances its popularity, does’t that mean that the public wants and appreciates more sex?

Think about it. If a TV program adds sex to the line-up during sweeps week, isn’t that a pretty good indication that the public wants to see sex on TV and rewards it with viewership… which means the one who complain are not representative of the public overall?


Sharkbabe | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:20 pm 4

Love that awesome pic of Ellen.

Good on you, Jacques P. And I WILL go out of my way to use you as my department store.

“a woman in her bathroom talking to the little man in the boat.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – must say i’d never thought of that


Twain | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:22 pm 5

The Million Moms (ha) must have cults who sit around on their large behinds and watch for things that they think insult them. The absurdity has gone too far. And, of course, it’s always about sex. GET A LIFE.


Beerfart Liberal | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:29 pm 6

See, this happens all the time with this kind of shit–with me anyway. If the Million Moms hadn’t pointed it out, I never would have noticed the cucumbers/.69 thing. Thanks, moms!


cmaukonen | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:30 pm 7

Sounds like these are One Million Moms not having sex because On Million Dads are fooling around with One Million Secretaries.

Just saying


Beerfart Liberal | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:40 pm 8

Ben & Jerry’s announced their newest ice cream flavor which sounds anything but appealing. Schweddy Balls is the best they could come up with. The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.

The name originated from a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy, owner of a holiday bakery called Season’s Eatings. “There are lots of great treats this time of year,” Schweddy says. “Zucchini bread, fruitcake, but the thing I most like to bring out at this time of the year are my balls.”

LOL. Their website is quite the hoot.


RFShunt | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:40 pm 9
In response to Twain @ 5

Who was it who defined a prude as a person with the haunting fear that somebody, somewhere might be having a good time?


Twain | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:42 pm 10

I just realized that I’ve never seen a sexy plumber. Been with the same company for years and their all older men – not as old as I am, but in their 60s. They did send a very pretty young woman once.


Twain | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:43 pm 11

Eeek. That would be “they’re”. Where’s edit when you need it?


EvilDrPuma | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:45 pm 12

Everyone works hard for their money, and they want to spend their money with companies that have the same values as them. And JC Penney stated that Ellen DeGeneres shares the same values that they do. So obviously, it’s not the same as Christians or conservatives, which is unfortunate [because] JC Penney was founded by a Christian man.

Ms. Cole arrogantly assumes that all Christians are narrow-minded homophobic bigots, just like her.


Teddy Partridge | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:48 pm 13

I don’t know any self-respecting man who’d let a woman choose what to watch on television, anyway, so what exactly is the problem OMM has with this?


Lisa Derrick | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:48 pm 14

When I was a kid, I thought the Ty-D-Bol ad was super dumb: The mom was in the bathroom talking to the guy in the tank, and someone would yell,

Hurry up, what are you doing in there!?

and the mom would reply

I’m just talking to the little man in the boat.

It was only when I got to college that I learned what exactly that meant, and I was thrilled at the audacity of the advertising guy/gal who had slipped that joke into a commercial.
The Ellen/JCPenney ad whence I grabbed the still has a great gag in it, which I caught on Oscar night. Of course the REAL joke is on the folks who take that number seriously–it’s off by 50, thanks to a clever transcriber who canged it to match with the numerological value of “nero.”


ducktree | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:52 pm 15

Could it be . . . . SATAN???!!!


Margaret | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:53 pm 16

Like all of their “boycotts”, I’m sure this next one will fizzle spectacularly.


EvilDrPuma | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:55 pm 17
In response to Margaret @ 16

Don’t you wish people like us could get paid good money for such incompetence?


Teddy Partridge | Thursday March 8, 2012 07:59 pm 18
In response to RFShunt @ 9

That is also the definition of the life of US Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA).


TheOracle | Thursday March 8, 2012 08:31 pm 19

So, will “One Million Moms” join the boycott of Rush “Hot Air vs. Dead Air” Limbaugh’s radio program, since the last I heard is that some Moms use birth control, including maybe Moms belonging to “One Million Moms,” meaning that Rush Limbaugh called these Moms a bunch of sluts and prostitutes for using contraceptives?


RFShunt | Thursday March 8, 2012 08:34 pm 20
In response to Teddy Partridge @ 18

Ha!!


GlenJo | Thursday March 8, 2012 08:47 pm 21

Tell these idiots to go shop at Walmart so they can support the Red Chinese trashing of America.


Denn | Thursday March 8, 2012 08:55 pm 22

Think I’ll go have a word or two with the man in the boat…


Glackin | Thursday March 8, 2012 11:49 pm 23
In response to RFShunt @ 9

You almost got it. HL Mencken on Puritanism:
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken
US editor (1880 – 1956)

It took a few, but I knew it was BMT–Bierce, Mencken, or Twain.


DavidYates | Friday March 9, 2012 12:32 am 24

To quote John Cleese, “There are always those whom one might wish to offend.”


jpjones | Friday March 9, 2012 01:13 am 25

That commercial WORKS. I’d buy a corrosive, toxic chemical OR ammonia-treated meat from the one with the beard – even from a non-union grocery store. If only I could go back to sleep now!


Denn | Friday March 9, 2012 07:35 am 26
In response to jpjones @ 25

Yeah, well, remember that these are actors; in the real world you would get Joe the plumber and his twin, complete with the stereotypical buttcracks. Be very afraid.


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