Joan Rivers “Waterboarded” by Grandson and Friends

Joan Rivers is one of the smartest, funniest comics imaginable, and her new “reality” show  Joan Knows Best has some really bright, touching moments, like her scattering her friends ashes throughout Beverly Hills and ending up doing a routine in a West Hollywood bar, dancing with the guys. Or visiting her daughter’s childhood home.

But Episode 7, “Home Alone” (which featured the latter segment) also had a bit which I am still trying to parse. Okay, first off “reality” show have set-ups, like when my friend Cat Noel was on Wife Swap, the producers came up with the “giant ear” she had to make the swapped husband shout into.

So when Joan is left alone with her grandson while her daughter and her boyfriend go on a romantic getaway? Set-up.

Leaving Grandma with grandson and five of his friends? Set-up.

Tying up Grandma Joan, laying her on the ground, covering her face with a towel and pouring water over her face? Set-up.

WTF? Rewind the TiVo and screengrab that memorable bit from WE Network!

Cat told me that her son, now 15, has had plenty of playdates and none involved water boarding or elder abuse. I mean, slipping on a banana peel is funny, imitating torture, not so much.

I am hoping the producers were making some sort of meta-point that kids are impressionable; that the violence they see, that torture enacted upon prisoners trickles down through countries, throughout our country and could be imitated by kids in Madison or Malibu.

Or is this some modern version of Cowboys and Indians? Could we go back to Cops and Robbers, please?

Katie Couric Leaving CBS News

Katie Couric, the first woman to solo anchor ad evening news program is  leaving CBS News. Couric famously interviewed Sarah Palin who admitted  that she

read most of them…all of them any of them that have have been in front of me over the years…

when Couric asked what newspapers and magazines the then-vice presidential candidate perused.

But Charlie Sheen is available.

Palin later admitted that she was

by Couric’s questioning and was outside of the Washington DC and media elite.

photo  ssoosay

Major Site Hacks through Email Provider Epsilon: Disney Destinations, Best Buy, Citi, JPMorgan Chase, Many Others

Hey, do you get email from Disney Destinations, Best Buy or ABE.com, a used/rare/antiquarian book dealer?  Or just about any major consumer website like Capital One, Citi, JPMorgan Chase, US Bank, Tivo and Walgreen? You probably want to change your password because the email databases for those site–and possibly more–were hit with a cyber break-in March 30th.

UPDATE: Target just bothered to let customers know.(6pm)

UPDATE: 1-800-Flowers just let us know (11:46 pm)

The breach and occurred via Epislon, a third party provider for all these sites.  Since the alerts are just rolling in now, you may want to change your email passwords ASAP even if you haven’t heard form any consumer sites. I received notice from one website so far not listed in the LA Times, as well as several mentioned, so the full extent of the issue isn’t completely known/released yet.

Here are the emails from two of the three of sites I’ve received (which tells you a bit about my lifestyle, LOL).

From Disney Destinations, the most thorough, which included a phone number to concerned “guests”–(407) 560-2547:

We have been informed by one of our email service providers, Epsilon, that your email address was exposed by an unauthorized entry into that
provider’s computer system.  We use our email service providers to
help us manage the large number of email communications with our
guests.  Our email service providers send emails on our behalf to
guests who have chosen to receive email communications from us…
We have been assured by Epsilon that the only information that may have been obtained was your email address and that the accessed files did not include any other information. A rigorous assessment by Epsilon determined that no other information is at risk. We are actively investigating to confirm this…

As a result of this incident, it is possible that you may receive spam
email messages, emails that contain links containing computer viruses
or other types of computer malware, or emails that seek to deceive you
into providing personal or credit card information.  As a result, you
should be extremely cautious before opening links or attachments from
unknown third parties or providing a credit card number or other
sensitive information in response to any email.

From ABE.com

We have been informed by Epsilon, a third-party vendor we use to send e-mails, that an unauthorized person outside their company accessed files that included e-mail addresses of some AbeBooks customers. Epsilon has advised us that the files that were accessed did not include any customer information other than email addresses.

As a reminder, AbeBooks will never ask customers for personal or account information in an e-mail. Please exercise caution if you get any emails that ask for personal information or direct you to a site where you are asked to provide personal information.

(photo: binarydreams, creative commons via Flckr.com)

How Does a DFH Spend April Fool’s? Laughing Liberally, of course!

John Fugelsang, Jamie (Lady Margot) Jackson, Baratunde Thurston, Scott Blakeman and Jamie Kilstein

So an FDL contributor and a photographer walk into a bar…… or more accurately the Midtown Theatre on 46th Street in NYC where Laughing Liberally – This Ain’t No Tea Party is having a 10 week run. The Laughing Liberally company is composed of about a dozen comedians, any 6 to 8 of whom appear at a given performance, so it’s rarely the same show twice. The format is kinda clever, each act is separated by a “commercial,” a series of video parodies that are in themselves worth the trip to Manhattan.

The hands-down best is a parody of a Planned Parenthood advocacy ad aimed at women a/k/a “vagina havers” and attacking the GOP Congress’s intention to strip funding from the medical care of vaginas, and that it’s up to the vagina havers to use those vaginas to fight back. It helpfully points out that it will be easy to do this because “there is nothing less hot than a man who doesn’t care about vaginas.” Honestly, if Planned Parenthood had one ounce of self-preservation instinct they would do a massive ad buy and put this commercial up, it’s a shame the Super Bowl is over because this tops any ad shown this cycle. And yes, I do realize that to put it on network TV would involve lots of bleeping out.

Now, back to the show, it kicked off with a parody commercial about vacationing in Somalia “the libertarian wonderland” where everything is arranged by “free market forces” and “enlightened self-interest.” It ends with a tourist contracting cholera.

Scott Blakeman drew the unenviable warm-up-the-crowd slot. Curtain was early, 7pm, and everybody was still sober.  He had some cute one-liners:  there’s “terror in the streets, taking away workers rights, and that’s just Ohio.” And he did a riff on the multiple spellings of Muammar Gaddafi, “there are almost as many spellings for Quaddaffi as there are for Chanukka” that set off the belly laughs.

Then came the Planned Parenthood commercial which left you sputtering.

That was followed by the only woman comic of the night, Negin Farsad, who describes herself thusly, “I am Iranian-American Muslim Female, I get to dump on the Middle East whenever I want.” The first part of her monologue was about the revolutions unfolding in the Middle East and suggested that Apple was missing a marketing opening in the “twitter revolutions,” and suggesting an ad campaign for them: “Are you trying to stage an opposition movement? There’s an app for that.”

She moved on to how difficult it is for Muslim women to explain to their mothers that they are sexually active, claiming there are no words for sex in Farsi. How do you say sex in Farsi? Inter-gender flesh relations.  There is a skill to being edgy while using very polite terminology. It was perfect coming after the Planned Parenthood video.

The intervening commercial break was a series of man-in-the-street interviews with people on line outside a bookstore waiting for a Sarah Palin book signing.  As far as I could tell, they were genuine, and it was more depressing than funny. They had no idea what Palin’s stand was on just about any major issue except “drill, baby, drill”- and they were generally ignorant of, well, most current events and public policy issues. It’s what you’d expect. Maybe it was like an emotional palate cleanser?

‘Cause next up was the frenetic musings of Citizen’s Radio’s Jamie Kilstein. With his mouth going a mile a minute and NEVER pausing to breathe, he rollicked through the war in Afghanistan, “We have killed 4,000 American troops and over 100,000 others all trying to kill one guy, Osama Bin Laden. We’re like the bad guys in the “Home Alone” movies.”

He suggested that instead of war, we should revive the practice of single combat by our leaders and put Obama and OBL into a cage match and sell the rights on pay-per-view. That’s a way to pay down the deficit we can all get behind.

Do you know what drones are? They are literally robots with guns. And that could never turn out badly, right? Except in every Sci-Fi movie ever made.

He switched topic to take on marriage equality and the insane notion that gay marriage somehow endangers hetero marriage or leads to other unfortunate results. “Every time a gay couple marries, a Muslim terrorist gets its wings.” Frank Capra may well be chuckling in his grave.

This was followed by a spoof video wherein an actor portraying Eric Cantor attempts to get the deficit down to zero by only cutting waste and programs that liberals like while leaving the military budget and tax cuts for the wealthiest intact, you already know how this ends: with the sale of the US Capital Building and Cantor’s own office turned into a Starbucks.

One of the highlights of the evening for me was the next act which combined two of my favorite genres: Dame Edna plus Mark Russell style political satire songs. Jamie Jackson came to the stage with a tea set on a tray, a Chanel style suit, a Maggie Thatcher hairdo, and very hairy legs encased in too small pantyhose (Uncle Milty would be so proud) and introduced himself to us as Lady Margaret Barnsley-Farnworth, a recently transplanted and very clueless member of the British aristocracy who has been attending “tea parties” all over the United States and has learned many fascinating facts from her new friends over cucumber sandwiches, chocolate sponge cake and marmalade fingers.

Her mullet wearing fellow partiers bring her up to speed on all kinds of facts she never knew about Barack Hussien Osama, semi-automatic weapons, taxation and the welfare state. The monologue is punctuated with lively ditties like entitle “Don’t Tread on Me” and “Guns Don’t Shoot People, People Shoot People.” You know when a song is coming by the recurring line, “I was inspired and I happened to be carrying a piano at the time.” There is a moment of pathos towards the end, but I won’t spoil it for you.

The next commercial break invoke the Texas succession movement and generally approved of the idea – “can we help you pack?” “Don’t let the Oklahoma panhandle hit you in the ass on the way out.”

Next up was Baratunde Thurston from The Onion who had the youngest, hippest, most accessible monologue of the night. He did the “everyman” starting with how could you not love unions “if you like weekends, you gotta like unions” and going off into an insightful look at racial insensitivity when people are trying to be nice to you. Just like white people came up to hug him right after Obama’s election “we did it!,” he finds that the revolutions in the Middle East make him want to hug his Middle Eastern deli owner and the guy at the Hallal Food cart where he buys his lunch, “we’re doing it!”. It was one part Laurence Fishburne’s “Thurgood” monologue and two parts mirror on the human condition. The young photographer I brought with me to take that picture up top thought he was by far the smartest person in the room.

The next commercial break was a parody of an Arizona tourism board “Arizona, it’s for Everybody!” ad, but with a Hispanic American getting his papers checked. It was a little to true to be “funny” funny.

The last act of the night sounded like he could have been a member of my family, if any of us had the ability to sell a joke.  A product of Metro NY and Catholic upbringing, John Fuglsang knows his bible and knows how to do the impossible, turn the Book of Leviticus into 10 minutes of hilarity. I’m not even gonna give you a taste, I could never do it justice. I DO heartily recommend this to members of clergy of any faith, you will never have such a good time with the Bible and you won’t feel guilty about it either.

Of course, he had me early in the monologue with the best one-liner of the night, “Obama caved so many times, there’s miners trapped inside.” Yes, firebaggers, he’s ONE OF US.  Actually, they all are.

There were a few zingers reserved for some of my favorite targets “Chris Matthews can have a panel with 5 people that lasts 40 minutes and nobody but him gets to talk.” You have to hear the impression of Matthews that comes after that, in person.

There’s one I may have to needlepoint on a pillow: “Sarah Palin is like a female Ann Coulter.”

Because the lineup of cast members changes from night to night, you can come to the show more than once without seeing the same show twice. The venue is appropriately gritty for a comedy review and on the same block with Rosie O’Grady’s and Havana Central. You’ll get out early enough to have a bite and listen to some music afterwards. You can get tickets and information about future venues at www.laughingliberallynyc.com

Oh, I almost forgot Jesse Eisenberg, the actor from The Social Network, was there in the audience –it looked like with his family- but he was not interested in posing for a picture.

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