My Friend, An Hero, The Captain, Sean Carasov is Dead

The Captain, Final Boss of the Internets, RIP November 17, 1961 to October 30, 2010.

I loved Sean Carasov, aka The Captain, from the day he walked into Atlantic Records to A&R the urban department. Bold, brash, with a heart bigger than his ability to conjugate the verb fuck. He introduced me to Vida, Fred Eric’s definitive Los Feliz restaurant–now a Chabad center, my how the 90s have become the next century!–and there he christened me La Lisa, a reference the grand courtesans of the Belle Epoch, not only because he saw that side of me, but also he said, because I wasn’t a diva.

La Lisa, Norman, The Capt, Atlantic Records, Xmas96

He had worked for the Beastie Boys and Jive Records before Atlantic and after for Artist Direct, later becoming a major contributor to 4Chan and Encyclopaedia Dramatica, the most irreverent, offensive NSFW ridiculous sites on the Internet. He also worked in the porn industry as a producer. One time he called and suggested I drop by a porn set in the Valley, a perfect 1970s times capsule, where along with seeing a lot safe sex from a safe distance,  I met the band Orgy and a cute pair of dogues de Bourgone, a type of mastiff. Thankfully, neither the band nor the animals were involved in the filming; they were just hanging out.

We lost touch until I got involved with Chanology, the Anonymous protests against Scientology’s repressive actions. Mudkips, one of his feral cats was poisoned the day of the first major protest, and Sean was falsely arrested on trumped up charges leveled by a cult-zombie. I tracked him down and we re-established our friendship. When he went to court to deal with the BS–a Scientology flack claimed Sean had threatened him–I house sat to insure there were no breaks-in or monkey business. I was of course photographed by the Lee Baca supported criminal cult goons, but wtf, that’s part of The Game. The charges against Sean were dropped.

The changes in the record business had rendered The Captain’s skills and talents redundant. His stated goal was to move to Thailand and work with refugees, but he had to deal with the IRS and other financial situations. The Captain was passionate about the underdog, the oppressed, the pariahs. He fed feral cats, adored Evie “his” feral and adored his own kitties Gotti and Shorty. Gotti died a while back, and Shorty’s death earlier this month exacerbated Sean’s depression.

The Captain would often drop by my house on his bike with bottles of Mexican Coca-Cola for me during a very bleak period of my life. He was in constant physical pain from injuries, but always kept working out, always managed to make me laugh. On Friday the 29th  he popped over to hang  out for a bit as we got ready for a party Saturday and tried to work out logistics of him bringing by some out of town guests. He had plans for Halloween weekend and sounded up beat about some DJ/dance projects he was starting, though mentioned being upset about having to pick up Shorty’s ashes. I offered to drive him, but he said he’d deal with it.

Today someone sent me a message on Facebook mentioning the “tragedy” and asking if I could help feed the feral cats in Sean’s yard….Whaaaa? That’s how I found out. Friends drove me the couple blocks to his house since I was pretty much a sobbing wreck. His neighbors and I wept together as they told about the details. I gathered some dirt from the spot where he had taken his last breath before shooting himself with his  .45 ,and then we drove to the vet and got Shorty’s ashes which are now on my living room table. The dirt is in a jar on my altar.

The Captain was such a brave, generous, hard ass fucker, tender, bold, fearless. But the pain he felt was too great to be rectified.  I love him; I always will. The Captain is why I will now have on my arm.

The family has asked that donations be made in Sean’s name to FIXNATION.ORG, a non-profit 501C3 (that means it’s tax deductible!) which does trap/neuter/release of feral felines.

And now a word from Encyclopaedia Dramatica:

4chan Boss Rorschach was a Britfag Internets superhero who had devoted his otherwise empty life to trolling the fuck out of the ‘church’ of $cientology and giving them teh rAIDS.

So far he did a pretty good job since OSA‘s quest to find out his powerword, movements, routine and ‘crimes‘ for a dox drop at Party Van central, has yielded little to nothing other than the basics. I mean, what are you gonna ‘get’ on an unhinged, unemployed, divorced, oldfag /b/tard who blew all his hookers & blow money in the late ’90s?

On October 30th, 2010, Rorschach took his own life. He was survived by his Farmville account and his .45.

Posted on /b/ after being outed. Rorschach, when reached for comment said: “Co$bitches don’t know bout my /b/tards.

Rorschach OTI

I think he would have appreciated that. Even more so,  that we kindly capture, neuter, release all feral cats.

17 Responses to "My Friend, An Hero, The Captain, Sean Carasov is Dead"
neolobster | Monday November 1, 2010 02:31 pm 1

Sean was a one-of-a-kind man with one-of-a-kind stories to tell. He will be sorely missed.

skathic | Monday November 1, 2010 03:11 pm 2

I’m so sorry, Lisa – I didn’t know all of your history with him. I was sad to hear the news today, but infinitely sadder now.

ThingsComeUndone | Monday November 1, 2010 03:12 pm 3

Sorry for your loss Lisa.

mirele | Monday November 1, 2010 03:22 pm 4

My condolences, Lisa.

RIP Sean.

From one of the Old Guard.

ama2 | Monday November 1, 2010 04:42 pm 5

Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss. It is a loss for us all.
Sean was the first to be found by the cult and they went after him with a vengeance to prove a point to the rest of us.
Reading your stories about him makes me realize that the world lost one damned fine human being.
I hope he’s taking over heaven because it sounds like it’ll be a pretty cool place if he’s helping to run it.
Comfort and healing to his family and friends.

marymccurnin | Monday November 1, 2010 04:51 pm 6

I am so sorry, Lisa. I can feel your broken heart. Take care.

newtonusr | Monday November 1, 2010 05:10 pm 7

Condolences, Lisa.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Carasov

jocelyn | Monday November 1, 2010 06:34 pm 8

Thank you for writing this, Lisa. It’s so frustrating and sad, he was such a sweet, hilarious, handsome, smart, and completely unique individual.

kipsvonkipsington | Monday November 1, 2010 06:34 pm 9

Goodnight, sweet prince.

Jim White | Tuesday November 2, 2010 05:07 am 11

I’m so sorry, Lisa.

TheCallUp | Tuesday November 2, 2010 06:20 am 12

My sympathies, Lisa.

shmertly | Tuesday November 2, 2010 07:43 am 13

Lisa, I’ve read your eulogy no less than 5 times since yesterday. It is perfection and captures our friend to a “t”. Thank you for writing something that aids in dealing with such an enormous loss.

Teddy Partridge | Tuesday November 2, 2010 11:59 am 14

So very sorry, Lisa.

zaiger | Tuesday November 2, 2010 01:52 pm 15

Rest in peace OldDirtyBtard, you are missed. I love you. Great entry by the way.

Lisa Derrick | Wednesday November 3, 2010 01:40 am 16

The Captain Sean Carasov’s Summary

I’ve spent the best part of my adult life actively engaged in the entertainment industry in a variety of areas.

From my first jobs in England of selling T-shirts on the road for The Specials and The Clash, to tour managing the Beastie Boys, to dicovering A Tribe Called Quest, to Atlantic Records VP of A&R, to music supervising Hollywood movies like American Pimp, to babysitting George Clinton in the studio, to writing gigs in old and new media alike, I’ve always been amazed at my ability to keep it real and stay true to my roots as a Working Class Londoner with no money.

If I were to try and list all of my many accomplishments and experiences, I dare say I’d have a Hell of a book that lots of people would read and enjoy but also wouldn’t make me any money.

I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, but whatever I fall into next better have a health plan because most of the above has left me with severe mental problems.
The Captain Sean Carasov’s Specialties:

A&R (artists & repertoire), artist development, marketing & promotion, PR (public relations), music supervision (film, television, advertising music and licensing), band and tour management, journalism (new and old media) and all round expert in Anonymous and the Internets (not to be confused with the Internet).

Other tools: corporate politics veteran, finely tuned bullshit detector, good communicator, skilled negotiator, even tempered, team player, affable, hilarious, whiny.

TheCallUp | Wednesday November 3, 2010 10:23 am 17
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 16

He sounds like a really interesting and down to earth person. So sad.

Sorry but the comments are closed on this post