And he seemed like such a nice boy… Gosh darn it. Where did John Edwards go wrong? And more importantly why? He didn’t even get near absolute power, yet he was corrupted absolutely.

In The Politician the John Edwards’ tell-all by former aide Andrew Young, we a get a grisly slice of life that sounds more like a Lifetime movie than real life.

And one more reason to use condoms. As if we needed any reminders.

According to Young’s book which went on sale today, the maintenance of John Edwards’ mistress–the Rielle Hunter, a wily huntress if ever there was one–was funded with money from late trial lawyer Fred Baron and banking heir widow Bunny Mellon, though the latter was unaware she paying for Edwards’ trysting.

It’s just so darn tacky: Young agreed to claim Rielle’s child as his own, even though he was married with three kids. And he told his wife about the plan while at a McDonalds drive-through window.

After I finally got to holler for Chicken McNuggets with chocolate milk and the right toy, I turned to Cheri and in the time it took us to reach window number one (where you give them the money), I said, ‘Edwards wants me to say I’m the father of Rielle’s baby, and then Fred’s gonna fly us off to someplace where we can all hide.’

Oh lordy! It was during a stay with Young’s family that Rielle tossed out a video of her and Edwards making whoopee (well, she was hired as the campaign videographer!) which Young claims he has in his possession. Cannot unsee!

And if all of this and the “Dave Matthews playing at our wedding plans” weren’t sickening enough on a personally sordid level, the political stuff is repulsive too. Young writes that Edwards bitched about making appearances at state fairs, quoting Edwards as saying

[F]at rednecks try to shove food down my face. I know I’m the people’s senator, but do I have to hang out with them?

And then there’s this: Before speaking at an SEUI rally, Edwards had the label his Italian suit coat taken out and replaced with the “made in USA” tag from Young’s own jacket.

Young reached his breaking point though:

After watching and hearing John Edwards practice a thousand little deceptions and tell a thousand different lies, ostensibly in the service of some greater good, I finally recognized that he didn’t care about anyone other than himself.

Ya think? I can’t wait for the movie version…Tom Cruise as John Edwards?

J.D. Salinger, the writer whose only novel, Catcher in the Rye, published in 1951, influenced generations of disaffected youths–and spawned a meme that the book was the favored reading material of assassins–has died of natural causes. He was 91.

Catcher’s protagonist Holden Caufield–sensitive, cynical, smart, alienated–became the icon of America teens, while Salinger become the iconic recluse. He wrote three more books which were collection of short storeis or novellas: Nine Stories, Franny and Zooey, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction; his novella Hapworth 16, 1924 appeared in The New Yorker on June 19, 1965.

Baliff whack his pee pee! Last night as we reported after it hit his Tweetdeck, Jame’s O’Keefe III gloated that the government conceded there was no attempted wiretapping. Only the faux-pimp violated a gag order.

Ooops.

Neo con pimp James O’Keefe III posted this on his Twitter feed

O’Keefe and his three stooges were actually charged

by federal authorities with fraudulently entering a federal building for the purpose of “interfering” with Senator Landrieu’s phone system.

O’keefe sat in the lobby of the office filming as his pals, including  Robert Flanagan, the son of acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana William J. Flanagan, dressed as phone repairmen futzed around with the office equipment.

He’ll be speaking Monday February 1 at San Francisco’s Commonwealth Club. I think he should marry Bristol Palin.

Oh hai Madum Speakr, Vice Prezidunt Bai-den, Memberz ov Congruss, distingished guestz and mah fellow Americanz

Dere was lotz of stuff dat was bad before in history. But we still did okay becuz we all one peeplez. But nao thingz bad again.. Moar badder. For lotz maor peeplez. Many not haz houses, jobs or can go to college. Dey haz a sad. And sum peeplez are mad. And tired. Need napz from badness. Do not want.

But Basement Cat can’t be winner. No quitting, k? I cutz taxes. Nao moar jobz fer sum peeplez. But moar jobs, we must hav dem. So small businesses shud get sum money banks paid back and tax incentuvs. And hire peeps. K?

Nao we hire for building stuff, to haz bettur fastur trainz and cleanz greenz thingz. Be bettur than all. We need to be Ceiling Cat of everyone.

And maor houses for cheap for peepz. And teh kittehs.

Helth kare important, k? Dooooo eeeet!

But ther was a sad before I becomez Teh Prez. Big holez in de budjut.Defysit bad

Nao letz spending freeze. Not so many cheezburgerz. Mebbe I getz tuff. So payz as u goez to be leik the 90s. Den moar moneyz.

We needz a happy, so Democats and Refurbican stopz all yer fightingz. U R doin it worng. I come talkz to u. Exciting.

Tewwowists bad. We catch sum. We killz sum. War bad, so letz stop. Sumtime.

Vetruns good. We helpz dem.

Nuculur bombz bad. Letz talk bout it. Wif everybudy.

We do good thingz. We good peepz. We Ceiling Cat of goodnesses.

TEH GAYS! TEH GAYS! I be in yur Congruss talking bout repealing DADT so teh gays gets to be in de military not sekretly any maor.  Is right thing to do.

And ladiez get shud getz same moneyz as menz fer teh workings. Immigrashun reform is fixing borderz and playing fairz.

All be nice, k? No moar being mean on teh teevee, k? Mean makes a sad fer everybudy.

Change n stuff.

And not important to be popular, maor important to fix thingz fer next generashun.

We are desunt peeps. So no fail.

USA USA USA. We haz spirit! No quit, k?

Kthanxbai

Fox’s White House correspondent Major Garrett sent out soft-porn via Twitter instead of his notes on the upcoming State of the Union address.  Oh, blame the Internets. Both of them.

Faux pimp, neo-con pinup boy and Keystone Colson Cop, James O’Keefe III, has a really good daddy, James O’Keefe II.  The elder O’Keefe says his son was just pulling  a prank in Landrieu’s office, and that the real problem is two Senators he claims are involved in “bribery and extortion.”

And wow, MSNBC hustled him off the air faster than Marcy Wheeler can say blow job.

Pimp? Or whore?

Neo-con “pimp” and ACORN-taper James O’Keefe III–one of four men arrested yesterday for  allegedly attempting to wiretap Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office in downtown New Orleans– posted this to his Twitter account on December 27

Uisng his cellphone camera, O’Keefe  was videotaping his fellows, disguised as telephone repairmen, as they went about their Keystone Colson Cops routine in Landrieu’s office.

One of O’Keefe’s co-conspirators is Robert Flanagan, the son of acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana William J. Flanagan.

Now the quartet is claiming they did it for teh lulz. And/or/maybe the $ and fame? Andrew Briebart founder of the conservative news sites Breitbart.com, Big Government.com and Big Hollywood.com was paying O’Keefe for his “life rights.” Here’s what Breitbart told Hugh Hewitt yesterday about O’Keefe, the ACORN story, O’Keefe’s income stream.

AB: When the story came to us, what I wanted to do was to make sure that the ACORN story got as much widespread dissemination as humanly possible. The videos that he independently produced went on YouTube. And so Huffington Post, every single site put it out there, including my sites. What he does for the site exclusively is he tells his life rights, basically. So when he puts a story out there, it’s on the Brietbart sites, the Big sites, that he can tell people what transpired. So…

HH: Do you pay him for that?

AB: Yes.

Breitbart however denies discussing the bugging of Landrieu’s office with O’Keefe and said the last time they spoke was a month ago and that he does not know the other three men arrested.

[h/t mediamatters.org]

Yes it’s a wonderful moment for free speech: Menifee Union School District in Riverside County, CA reinserted Merriam Webster’s 10th edition dictionary back into a  slot on library shelves after  school officials received a public flogging for yanking the book.

And it’s a wonderful moment for parents, who  will have the option of of an alternative dictionary without the offending term.

But for me the most wonderful moment was seeing the AP headline “Oral Sex Flap.” Thank you, Jesus.