Late Night: Ladies and Gents, Lube Your Pistons! Karl Rove is Single!

karlrove

If his attempt to hipsterize his image by appearing on an upcoming episode of Family Guy wasn’t enough of a clue of Karl Rove’s shift into singledom,  his Twitter status should have been the give away today–Karl Rove was soliciting for names and addresses so he could mail out free autographed bookplates…Mmmhmmm, right.

And now all of his fans have his PO box adddress so they can send him salacious semi-nude, draped in the flag photos and invitations to private tea baggings parties, followed by rousing games of Elephant in the Room, a  neo-con version of Truth or Dare-meets-Twister.

Oh shed a tear for family values, for Karl Rove is just like many Americans:  He is divorced. This is Rove’s second divorce; his first marriage, to Houston socialite Valerie Mather Wainwright, ended in 1980. His latest ex-wife–and if Rove is anything like Gingrich, she wont be his last–is Darby Rove, a graphic artist who worked for Karl’s political direct-mail business before they were married in 1986. Their son Andrew is 20, and according to reports in the New York Times they all spent Christmas together.

That’s a healthy model for divorce, but note that by waiting until Andrew was over 18, Karl won’t have to pay child support. Texas is a community property state, meaning that if the parties can’t reach a settlement, everything is split 50/50 by the court. An equal split is not mandatory in a community proprty state; it’s the default. Spousal support is on a case by case basis.

The divorce, granted last week, was kept well below the radar, and Rove’s spokesthing Dana Perino said:

The couple came to the decision mutually and amicably, and they maintain a close relationship and a strong friendship. There will be no further comment, and the family requests that its privacy be respected.

So will Rove be playing the roving bachelor at Rush Limbaugh’s July 4th wedding? I mean if you’re going to be a single conservative, that’s the place to be!  You know how frisky folks can get at a wedding! Will Karl start dating Ann Coulter? Is he secretly sending mash notes to Michele Bachmann or perhaps some other winsome members? Or maybe Bristol Palin is more his fancy….

111 Responses to "Late Night: Ladies and Gents, Lube Your Pistons! Karl Rove is Single!"
Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 07:58 pm 1

Creepy, and crepy…


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:01 pm 2

This means that I don’t dare write the words “fuck Karl Rove.”


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:03 pm 3

Will July 4 be Rush’s third or fourth wedding? And they don’t want teh gheys to get married because marriage is all like sacred and stuff–huh? lolwut?


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:04 pm 4

judas priest — boy oh boy am i glad i’m just a consultant nowadays instead of in the dating scene

karl rove being single is enough to make be wanna be celibate


DanRockridge | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:04 pm 5

Maybe now Rove will finally come out of the closet.


CTuttle | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:06 pm 6

So will Rove be playing the roving bachelor at Rush Limbaugh’s July 4th wedding?

What’s more nauseating, Turd Blossom unleashed or Rushbo getting hitched…? *gah*


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:07 pm 7

Karl Rove being single is enough to force me to be celibate.


yellowsnapdragon | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:08 pm 8
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 2

LOL! No, you’d better not take that risk.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:08 pm 9
In response to CTuttle @ 6

what actual proof does anyone have that Rove is interested in members as well mammaries?


allan | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:08 pm 10

And Jeff Gannon’s White House passes were approved by who?


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:09 pm 11

I do not even want to think about Rove cruising the singles bars.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:10 pm 12
In response to CTuttle @ 6

I keep hearing this along wiht “rush and dominican republic trips” but evidence–?


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:10 pm 13
In response to Suzanne @ 4

Makes two of us. Never thought I would actually be glad to be semi-retired from the game.


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:13 pm 14
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 12

The Dominican Republic is a destination of choice in the Americas for sex tourists looking for underage boys. Costa Rica is the place for girls. The things you learn researching human trafficking for a couple of classes.


GregB | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:15 pm 15

Support traditional marriage, outlaw divorce.

-G


Twain | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:15 pm 16

What kind of woman would marry Rush? Is Karl the best man? – geez, I hate to even type that.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:16 pm 17

This little number raised some queries about Rove’s roving eye…

Given that wife #2 worked for him (unlike wife # 1 who was a ‘socialite” and thus independently wealthy–I wonder if she’s not the swinging Texas grande dame i Charlie Wilson’s War?–and therefore more “powerful” becuase $ =power to these males), expect Rove to have eyes for the ladies he can impress with his um, elephantine credentials


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:17 pm 18
In response to DrDick @ 14

That I know–BUT what proof is there Rush was there at all/for that? And that Rove is bi?


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:18 pm 19
In response to GregB @ 15

rush, newt, and the rest of the jerks would blanche at the thought that their divorces were declared illegal and they are declared married for live to their first wife.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:19 pm 20
In response to Twain @ 16

What kind of woman would marry Rush?

One who values lots of money above her self-respect?


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:20 pm 21
In response to Suzanne @ 4

Tiger’s in rehab, maybe Turdblossum figures he can pick up the slack.


Twain | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:22 pm 22
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 17

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:22 pm 23
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 20

And really likes her some vicodin.


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:24 pm 24
In response to GregB @ 15

This is my friend, John Marcotte, funny dood.


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:26 pm 25
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 18

It would be wrong not to speculate.


tbsa | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:28 pm 26
In response to EvilDrPuma @ 20

I don’t know that there could be enough money to “do” that. Eeeeewwwwww on so many levels.


hackworth1 | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:29 pm 27

Foxheads (Chuckling, Guffawing, Kneeslaps, Kneepads All): “Seth McFarlane is a librul. Family Guy is a librul show. Karl Rove is a good sport for going on that librul show. Even the dog is librul on that show.”

Rove: “I get to play myself on that librul show. I am an evil motherf*cker from hell.”

Foxheads (admiringly): That Rove, what a guy! Did you know Rush was on Family Guy too? Limbaugh, he’s great. Libruls! What Fools!

(Uproarious Laughter. Fade To Black)


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:30 pm 28
In response to DrDick @ 25

I should add that the destinations of choice for women or girls are Costa Rica, Brazil, and Haiti. Since he was fairly obviously engaged in sex tourism, the Dominican Republic is not necessarily the first place you would think of if you weren’t into boys.


EvilDrPuma | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:31 pm 29
In response to tbsa @ 26

The proof is in the pudding: Rush found a woman willing to debase herself. Ewwwww is right.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:34 pm 30

I wonder if Roves dicorce papers are sealed–it has bene sooo under the radar, though maybe TX doesnt have a TMZ stringer lurking about the courthouse to see what gets filed…


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:40 pm 31
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 30

i hope they have a stringer headed to the courthouse to grab a copy of the papers


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:41 pm 32
In response to marymccurnin @ 24

This is funny. I hope he gets his ballot initiative.

John: I wish that I could force people that hate each other with the intensity of a thousand white suns back into a loveless marriage, but my attorneys tell me that getting that law passed would be unlikely in the current political climate.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:42 pm 33

“divorce–the GOP elephant in the room” Let’s see–how many family values folks have been divorced or get caught with their pants down?

I dont have a prob with divorce, and i think it’s sooo much better when everyone can get along a la Feetwood mac, but when you are trying to legislate morality, then maybe you need to STFU about the sanctity of marriage, as marriage is a fluid and voluntary state–and because there are certain tax benefits and financial incentives, it is in fact a business partnership on paper.


GregB | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:44 pm 34
In response to marymccurnin @ 24

Nice work on his part.

-G


Phoenix Woman | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:45 pm 35
In response to DrDick @ 28

It’s also the recruitment spot of choice for Major League Baseball.

The alleged reason is that the Dominican lads are so much better at the game than anyone else. A more likely reason is that the DR has just enough societal structure to not be a perennial basket case like Haiti, yet not enough to produce educated kids who can read and understand a contract written in Spanish, much less English; therefore, it’s easier to exploit them.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:47 pm 36
In response to Phoenix Woman @ 35

And none of that Cuban commie problem….


Margot | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:47 pm 37
In response to ratfood @ 32

I hope so too.


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:47 pm 38
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 33

because there are certain tax benefits and financial incentives, it is in fact a business partnership on paper.

And contrary to what the talibangelicals insist, this is at the heart of what marriage is actually about. I think the speculation about Rove and Rushbo (I personally do not know or want to know what gets them off, though I suspect it is not pleasant) has a lot to do with the rampant moral hypocrisy of the right. Whatever else Rushbo was up to in the Dominican Republic, like so many other blatant racists, he likes a little dark meat on the side.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:49 pm 39

Anybody recall the fabled Rush/Karl sex tape? It was all fat and crevasses with few identifiable features. People speculated for months regarding the authenticity. Finally a marine biologist identified it as video he’d shot of mating manatees.


Teddy Partridge | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:51 pm 40

Sorry, Ms Perino, this isn’t one of those situations that calls for privacy. Your client, Mr Rove, spent his entire career campaigning nd fundraising on the sanctity of marriage while in his second. I’m happy to give someone an opportunity for privacy if he’s given me any at all. But no, Mr Rove think my relationship is something to demonize in order to elect GOPs all over the country.

So I have this to say to you, Ms Perino and Mr Rove (and the ex-Mrs Rove): We are going to laugh and titter at your misfortune, wax melancholic for the women you might date, and possibly stake out your home for young men’s (or Lindsay Graham’s) late night visits. If my relationship is a matter of public policy, so, sir is yours.

Hope you hung onto poppa’s gold cock ring, Karl. At your age and weight, you’re gonna need it.


tbsa | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:51 pm 41
In response to ratfood @ 39

Ohh rat, spew alert should accompany.


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:53 pm 42
In response to ratfood @ 39

hitting brain bleach button


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:53 pm 43
In response to ratfood @ 39

DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:54 pm 44
In response to Teddy Partridge @ 40

Ouch. LOL! All too very true and good on you.


rafflaw | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:56 pm 45

Rove is the Devil and would be a purrfect match for Bristol Palin!


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:56 pm 46
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 43

Some problem with the first link. Praise the Lard made me laugh out loud. :-)


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:56 pm 47
In response to Teddy Partridge @ 40

I love you so much


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 08:59 pm 48
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 43

Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:00 pm 49

While I try ot make the linky work, here’s a side note


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:01 pm 50
In response to Teddy Partridge @ 40

poppa’s gold cock ring

Didn’t they call Bush Sr. “Poppy?”

Anyway, “poppa’s gold cock ring” might not have been a James Brown song but it shoulda been.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:04 pm 51
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 49

Also made me laugh.

Should be Jesus Hussein Tapdancin’ Christ, though… IMHO.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:04 pm 52

The NYTimes link in my post goes to a very telling 2000 article from the YTimes mag about Rove…


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:04 pm 53
In response to ratfood @ 50

Poppa’s got a brand new ring!


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:06 pm 54

W seems ot have dropped off the face of the earth. He was going to have a discussion series wiht Clinton but they both backed out because they claimed they didnt like the way it was promoted…


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:07 pm 55

i wonder if mrs rove got tied of living life as a beard


CTuttle | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:08 pm 56
In response to Teddy Partridge @ 40

Btw, Teddy, I’m all for equal opportunity for teh Gay to marry…! Ya’ll have the same right to be miserable…! ;-)


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:08 pm 57
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 54

Or W fell hard off of the wagon. Or Bill scared the crap out of him. W is not used to dealing with actual thinking, living humans. Take a look at Pickles.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:08 pm 58

and in other news, I have mandatory jury duty on 12/31 NEW YRS EVE because I had so many excuses. Hopefully if I show up I wont get picked.


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:09 pm 59
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 58

yikes lisa — that totally blows


Margot | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:10 pm 60
In response to DrDick @ 53

hah!


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:10 pm 61
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 58

12/31 is my brother’s birthday. He doesn’t get great presents cause it is so close to Xmas.


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:10 pm 62
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 54

I give praise for small blessings.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:11 pm 63
In response to DrDick @ 53

and I Feel Good (I knew that I would now)


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:12 pm 64
In response to marymccurnin @ 57

Poor Laura, bad face lift. And weird meds…and she like Obama had to hide ot smoke a cigarette ( I wonder if on the White House tour she showed him her Seekrit Smokin’ Place). Though she looks like she could use some wacky baccy/hippie lettuece/muggles/mud bud….


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:12 pm 65
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 58

I got called for jury duty earlier in the mont and got a call from the court clerk a few days before telling me that they did not need me. Maybe you will get equally lucky.


Gitcheegumee | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:13 pm 66
In response to ratfood @ 50

It’s all Poppycock.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:14 pm 67
In response to Suzanne @ 59

I se eit as a good reason to pull out the mega Goth gear and look really sullen though that didnt get the Star Trek crew member or the bright pink hair/tattooed excused from a trial…


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:14 pm 68
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 64

Just don’t let her drive the car… ever.


CTuttle | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:15 pm 69
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 67

It’s worth a shot, tho…! ;-)


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:16 pm 70
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 67

I suspect that judges in LA are not easily impressed that way.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:16 pm 71
In response to Gitcheegumee @ 66

Poppycock is also a synonym for opiate induced erectile dysfunction.


Gitcheegumee | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:16 pm 72

Why is it that I think of Ms. Piggy every time I see a picture of Karl Rove?


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:17 pm 73
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 67

The drag is having ot be ther wiht marginal internet access for FDL. If I a pciked for voir dire I may actually squeak through and get chosen..that would be YIKES. Mainly because how could I NOT discuss the case with my bestie and My Darling Umfriend–I have no filters….LOL


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:19 pm 74
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 67

your response really would have to depend on the type of trial…. civil or criminal. usually a good ‘i know all lawyers lie for their clients’ usually helps


Gitcheegumee | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:19 pm 75
In response to ratfood @ 71

Thank you for the distinction-I thought it was termed floppycock.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:20 pm 76

DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:20 pm 77
In response to Suzanne @ 74

I am bulletproof on capital cases. I have had three friends murdered and I oppose the death penalty. Neither lawyer wants me anywhere near the case.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:22 pm 78
In response to Gitcheegumee @ 75

Broader definition applicable in circumstances ranging from excessive alcohol consumption to unfortunate encounter with an out of control steamroller.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:23 pm 79
In response to ratfood @ 71

One rumor about how the term “HIP” came into being is from the opium den practice of clients lying on their sides. If you were high you were “on the hip.” From drug slang for using dope (and therefor being aware of all sorts of underground things)HIP developed inpt the word we know today….


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:24 pm 80
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 79

A lot of old jazz culture slang had to do with drugs.


Margot | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:26 pm 81
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 79

Oh I always wondered about that, that’s cool.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:29 pm 82
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 79

I love that kind of stuff, although slang etymology tends to be so hard to pin down.


DrDick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:31 pm 83

Time for me to toddle off. Take care all.


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:31 pm 84
In response to ratfood @ 82

I wonder where the term pin down came from?


Gitcheegumee | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:31 pm 85

I read that the term blow job actually was originally termed “below job”-as in below the belt.

Gives a new meaning to low blow,doncha think?


Margot | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:31 pm 86

Nite Dr. Dick


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:34 pm 87

g’nite dr dick


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:37 pm 88
In response to marymccurnin @ 84

Funny, I always would have guessed it had to do with Greco/Roman wrestling…

I Googled it and it appears the most common assumption is that pertains to pinning, pegging, or nailing something down to make it stationary.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:38 pm 89
In response to DrDick @ 83

G’nite Dr. Dick.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:39 pm 90
In response to DrDick @ 80

One of my favorite books ever is a paperback dictionary of slang wiht a heavy emphasis on drugs and sex. I used ot do a spoken word bit that was simply reading terms for female genitalia in alphabetical order and it was great fun to see how long it took peopel to catch on.. “Ace of spades, butter biscuit, groceries…” No matter which of the two pages of terms I chose, I’d always end with “yum yum”

It was a pretty popular piece….


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:39 pm 91

Night dr dick!


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:42 pm 92
In response to Gitcheegumee @ 85

I read a documentary of Beat artists (Ginsberg, Burroughs, Kerouac, etc.) which claimed that showing someone “how the cow ate the cabbage” was beat slang for oral sex.

I looked it up a little while ago and it appears it is a common Southern colloquialism for telling somebody the “straight truth.”

Perhaps the author of the Beat book lied to me. I am SO disillusioned.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:42 pm 93
In response to ratfood @ 82

I lust for about a dozen slang dictionary currently available…those and old etiquette books and out of print books on witchcraft, religious hisotry and magic (history, spells whatever) are TOTAL CRACK to me…


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:43 pm 94

I have use dup all the books shelves in the house..and there is marginal wall space available because of windows. I am at a loss. I.. …must…have…more….books…….


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:45 pm 95
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 93

So many of those books have a single small printing. You probably have some terrific used book stores out there, don’t you?

Not your neck of the woods but Bay area must be terrific in that regard.


marymccurnin | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:46 pm 96
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 94

I gave away most of my books that last time I moved. I finally figured out that other people could be reading them. Except I keep the art and poetry.


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:46 pm 97

and cookbooks…and social history (fish! salt! flowers! food! sex!)…and fashion…and biographies….


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:47 pm 98
In response to marymccurnin @ 96

My ex husband made me move my over half books into the the garage. Hence the EX


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:50 pm 99
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 97

lol! There should be a lot more people like you.

When I was college age (my friends were in college, I was fundamentally alienated from the institutional structures of society), everybody in my peer group felt like that about books. I wonder if there are any young people like that today.


ratfood | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:51 pm 100

Again, Bob refuses to step up to the plates, so off to clean the kitchen. Splendid evening to all.


Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:53 pm 101
In response to ratfood @ 100

g’nite rat


CTuttle | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:55 pm 102
In response to ratfood @ 100

heh, ya wouldn’t have any plates left if you had Bob doing ‘em…! Aloha, RF…!


ChristineEdmonson | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:55 pm 103
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 93

http://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-media/product-gallery/0525030255/ref=cm_ciu_pdp_images_2?ie=UTF8&index=2

Beaux Gestes by Lawrence Wylie — the most hilarious book of French gestures and slang. My favorite: Ilya du monde au balcon = there is a crowd in the balcony (hugh breasts)


Margot | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:56 pm 104
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 98

I dated a guy who had like 4 books in his house, and it was a big house. That didn’t last long at all. I couldn’t imagine someone who didn’t read.


ChristineEdmonson | Tuesday December 29, 2009 09:59 pm 105
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 97

Lisa,
These are all my interests: salt, food, fashion, flowers…


Lisa Derrick | Tuesday December 29, 2009 10:00 pm 106

night all! thnaks for keeping me cheery!


CTuttle | Tuesday December 29, 2009 10:04 pm 107

Suzanne | Tuesday December 29, 2009 10:11 pm 108
In response to Lisa Derrick @ 106

thanks for another great post lisa


Teddy Partridge | Wednesday December 30, 2009 12:49 am 109

Lisa, thank you! This was great, I love yer Late Nights!


kindGSL | Wednesday December 30, 2009 02:49 am 110
In response to DanRockridge @ 5

I thought this WAS his coming out of the closet.


Waccamaw | Wednesday December 30, 2009 10:39 am 111
In response to ratfood @ 39

Finally a marine biologist identified it as video he’d shot of mating manatees.

Ah, geez, friend Rat…..yer definitely on yer game today.


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