Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Picture 56krampus2

That gift-bearing bearded old man who makes his appearance on Christmas Eve used travel through the northern Alpine regions with his friend Krampus, whose name comes from the High German krampen for claws. While St. Nicholas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Krampus still looking_st. Nicholas looks onPicture 35

Santa had a bad habit in the mid-20th century, one that might get him slapped with his sidekick’s stick nowadays and has thus been replaced by binge-eating platefuls of transfat loaded cookies, gulped down with glass after glass of BGh-altered milk from factory farms.

Picture 32

But really, nothing says Christmas like sitting on Cthulhu’s tentacle…

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39 Responses to "Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…"
Elliott | Friday December 25, 2009 04:34 pm 1

And a Mherhy Cthulmhas to you!


Suzanne | Friday December 25, 2009 04:35 pm 2

merry cthulmhas lisa


Blutodog | Friday December 25, 2009 04:41 pm 3

Oy Santa!


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 04:52 pm 4

Cthulhumas isn’t that a holiday inbred New Englanders celebrate like the Bush Family?


bigbrother | Friday December 25, 2009 04:54 pm 5

Hi Lisa interesting art and folklore.


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 04:58 pm 6

The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Pagan Christmas rocks if we replace bad with liking sex it sounds like a party. But then the Christians came and they brought Sin and Guilt which actually made anything that was forbid even more bad. (Bad equals Sex)
Maybe the Christian faith won against the Pagans because being bad and guilt made things Kinky?
Could the Christians have created Kink?


bigbrother | Friday December 25, 2009 05:02 pm 7

Hi Suz TCU Blutodog and Elliot. Very nice day of friendship, beautiful weather on the Back Bay. The shorebirds were happy and the white pelicans with their yellow beaks were feeding. I got to row for 3 miles and later a two mile jog. No switches just sunshine and great ocean air to breathe. How was your day?


bigbrother | Friday December 25, 2009 05:07 pm 8
In response to ThingsComeUndone @ 6

Sounds like a bummer. Praise blame was the way the 60s and 70s philosopher described it. It creeps into thought patterns.


SouthernDragon | Friday December 25, 2009 05:08 pm 9
In response to ThingsComeUndone @ 6

Or as John Trudell wrote in “Hanging from the Cross:”

The trinity of the chain
guilt, sin and blame


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:11 pm 10

The more Repressed Christian you are the more likely that if given the opportunity/power the more likely you are to indulge Dave Vitter cheats on his wife fine thats normal but Diapers? Thats Kink.
Larry Craig is how old and he is still picking up strangers not at bars but in bathrooms as long as he can’t be accepted for who he is he seems trapped in immature risky behavior juvenile behavior.
Governor Sanford is caught telling lies that a highschool boy would consider lame and likely to get you caught.
I think the more Holy you claim to be publicly the greater the kink factor in private.
I don’t think the sex is better its just if you deny yourself in public the thrill of lying and getting away with it comes into play.
Why deny yourself? Why risk mixing the thrill of getting away with it with sex unless you want to be corrupted?


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:13 pm 11
In response to SouthernDragon @ 9

I got that on my I tunes :)


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:14 pm 12
In response to bigbrother @ 7

Day was fine started with a troll and it was just to stupid to bother with on Christmas so I went back to sleep.:)


Elliott | Friday December 25, 2009 05:14 pm 13

georgewalton | Friday December 25, 2009 05:17 pm 14

Santa Claus and Jesus Christ debate the meaning of Christmas. Who wins?


georgewalton | Friday December 25, 2009 05:20 pm 15
In response to Suzanne @ 2

Or as they say on Wall Street, on the Senate floor and in the Oval Office, Merry Chri$$$tma$$$.


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:23 pm 16

I’m thinking with the snow the GOP will have a big Global Warming is false party on the weekend.
However the more hot it gets the more energy in the system/wind so cold fronts can travel faster further to cause snow in places they normally don’t.
So yes I expect freak snowstorms to bring snow places that don’t normally get it until the ice caps melt and we reach a new balance with nature.


mariachi | Friday December 25, 2009 05:37 pm 17

Better off with Hanukkah


joelmael | Friday December 25, 2009 05:38 pm 18
In response to ThingsComeUndone @ 6

“”Maybe the Christian faith won against the Pagans because being bad and guilt made things Kinky?
Could the Christians have created Kink?”"

Not the first with Kink, but they sure found it a popular drawing card.

The catholic church of my childhood had 12 statues hanging along the walls depicting the various ways Jesus was tortured on the way to nailing him to a cross. Every Friday during lent we had to attend a long ceremony where the priest stood in front of and gazed at each statue in turn contemplating each particular torture.

Lots of similarities with BDSM practices, binding, whipping, blood letting, suspending, etc. including the fact that the whole thing with Jesus was voluntary also since he is said to have wanted to go through it to save us. and he could have smote them dead any time he didn’t like what was happening.

Religion, torture, animal and human sacrifices appear together too regularly for my taste.


CTuttle | Friday December 25, 2009 05:40 pm 19
In response to Suzanne @ 2

Aloha, Suz…! Things seemed to have quieted down around here today…! Still all kevlar/nomex’ed up…? ;-)


Elliott | Friday December 25, 2009 05:45 pm 20

CT! Mele Kalikimaka!


Suzanne | Friday December 25, 2009 05:45 pm 21
In response to CTuttle @ 19

u betcha
also
folks are gonna wake up from their holiday dinner-induced comas soon and i don’t wanna get caught in my unawares


hackworth1 | Friday December 25, 2009 05:46 pm 22

Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

I confess. I never heard of Krampus. The Santa Christmas story makes much more sense to me now. It parallels the theology of Jesus and The Devil. Or of Zoroastria and Mazda. Sinful man and the divine. Yin and Yang. Good and Evil.

Krampus is more of the crap that man created. He’s got a great phallus tongue, however.


CTuttle | Friday December 25, 2009 05:50 pm 23
In response to Elliott @ 20

Back atcha…! *g*

There is no Hawaiian word for ‘cthulmhas’…! I wonder why…? ;-)


hackworth1 | Friday December 25, 2009 05:50 pm 24

To Paraphrase Dubya Bush:

Don’t forget Poland Cannibalism.


Elliott | Friday December 25, 2009 05:51 pm 25
In response to Suzanne @ 21

lol
I thought you said you didn’t want to get caught in your underwears.


CTuttle | Friday December 25, 2009 05:52 pm 26
In response to Suzanne @ 21

dinner-induced comas
My ham’s resting as I type…! I hope to be in one before long…! ;-)


Suzanne | Friday December 25, 2009 05:53 pm 27
In response to Elliott @ 25

hehehehe i love using that phrase — most folks do the same thing you did ellie :)


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:53 pm 28
In response to joelmael @ 18

Maybe the more repressed a society is about sex the more Authoritarian and kinky it gets? I should go back to school I think.


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:55 pm 29
In response to hackworth1 @ 24

And don’t forget the Cthul Ketchu! Human brains just aren’t the same without that Old Timey Primevil Flavor


ThingsComeUndone | Friday December 25, 2009 05:59 pm 30
In response to ThingsComeUndone @ 29

Ketchu should be Ketchup my bad


Larue | Friday December 25, 2009 05:59 pm 31

HP Lovecraft (the author, not the band) would approve, methinks, Mz. Derrick.

Heck, I bet the band would have approved!

Nice work, Lisa, Merry Merry!


Kelly Canfield | Friday December 25, 2009 06:04 pm 32

Ia Shub Niggurath! Cthulu Aiee Aiee!

Hey there Cthulu….


georgewalton | Friday December 25, 2009 06:04 pm 33
In response to joelmael @ 18

The catholic church of my childhood had 12 statues hanging along the walls depicting the various ways Jesus was tortured on the way to nailing him to a cross

I never really understood this suffering as I was taught to. After all, Jesus was God. So he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that any suffering he endured would end in Paradise. The horror of the suffering mere mortals endure is that we can only have faith that it ends in Paradise. Big difference.

And what is the suffering of Christ next to the suffering of, say, the 20,000 children aged 5 years and younger who die from starvation every 24 hours on planet Earth. There are fewer more painfully protracted ways to die than starving to death.

Religion, alas, is just a way to rationalize things like this. A way to “explain” them.

Away, for example.

Yet what I wouldn’t give to believe, as I once did as a boy, in God.

Without God all the terrible ordeals of mankind are essentially meaningless and absurd.

How can things possibly be more unbearable than that?

Save me…please.


hackworth1 | Friday December 25, 2009 06:05 pm 34
In response to joelmael @ 18

Joel said: Religion, torture, animal and human sacrifices appear together too regularly for my taste.

Then I said:

To Paraphrase Dubya Bush:
Don’t forget Poland Cannibalism.

Communion wafers represent the body of Christ. Wine is his blood. Chrismas Trees are Pagan. Why not Santa in the Catholic Church, too?

And while we’re at it Cthulhu and Krampus.

Ketchu should be Ketchup my bad.


hackworth1 | Friday December 25, 2009 06:14 pm 35

And what is the suffering of Christ next to the suffering of, say, the 20,000 children aged 5 years and younger who die from starvation every 24 hours on planet Earth. There are fewer more painfully protracted ways to die than starving to death.

With the population exploding and resources fast running out, Religion tells the poor to make more babies. Religion should be handing out condoms.


Suzanne | Friday December 25, 2009 06:15 pm 36

eli up at the mothership


siosal | Friday December 25, 2009 06:23 pm 37

Nine years ago in Salzburg, Vienna, I bought, in a Christmas time farmers market, a krampus, head of cardboard and body of red peppers on shiskabob sticks. To buy it, I had to let my fellow travellers, proceed without me. That caused such complications that when we reunited I gave the krampus to one of them, a collector of Christmas items. He has since displayed this vile angry and now blackened monster at his Christmas party, a 40 years and counting event, as the true spirit of Christmas.

Thank you for explaining just how right he is.


RevBev | Friday December 25, 2009 06:59 pm 38

Once again,,,,,,a truly remarkable Moyers’ program…Now, he is a treasure. Wonderful piece on dance, etc.


patrickhenrypress | Friday December 25, 2009 07:03 pm 39

Clearly no myth, the legendary Krampus appears to be an early ancestor of Gene Simmons…


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