Westboro Baptist Church Disco Inferno: Megan Phelps Does Lady GaGa

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Megan Phelps-Roper, one the granddaughters of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps has recorded herFair Use parody version of Lady GaGa’s “Poker Face”.  Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Russian Roulette is what you’re playing, silly clod
But every chamber’s loaded when you’re playing with your God
Oh oh oh oh ohhhh oh ohhhhh oh oh
You pissed off God, you’ll see what He’s got
Oh oh oh oh ohhhh oh ohhhhh oh oh
You pissed off God, you’ll see what He’s got…

You show your filth to everybody
You just got
You just got
Yeah, you just got your whorish face
Show your filth to everybody

It’s pretty clear that Megan wants stardom and fame, but bigot disco might be a real niche market. I dont see her getting a record deal on this. Keep the day job, hun.

Fox Calling Whaaamublance Over Time Warner Cable

For over a week Fox has been running high level hysteria inducing ads and screen scrolls begging cable subscribers to complain because Time Warner and Brite House cable networks are bucking at paying News Corp, Fox TV’s parent company, a dollar per subscriber in order to carry Fox programming.

If the media megaliths don’t resolve this matter of national importance by 11:59 pm Thursday, it’ll be a happy new year for those who can’t stomach American Idol, Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilley.  Losers will be fans of all the college bowl games and Simpsons.

Hmmmm….hard choice.

Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church Needs $900,000 ASAP; Broke Focus on the Family Wants to Spend $4 Million on Super Bowl Ad

jesus-dinosaur

Is this social Darwinism? The Religious Right is feeling the economic pinch as Rick Warren begs for dough, and Focus on the Family laid off 150 more staff members, but is willing to drop $4 million on a Super Bowl ad.

I can’t help but think this is God’s way of telling Rick Warren to STFU.  The megachurch pastor, liar and pop feel-good author took the internet to plead for his congregation to dig deep and donate $900,000 within the next 48 hours. Or else the godless heathen homo-lovers win.

With 10% of our church family out of work due to the recession, our expenses in caring for our community in 2009 rose dramatically while our income stagnated. Still, with wise management, we’ve stayed close to our budget all year. Then… this last weekend the bottom dropped out. On the last weekend of 2009, our total offerings were less than half of what we normally receive – leaving us $900,000 in the red for the year, unless you help make up the difference today and tomorrow.

With 22,000 members, that’s about $41 per person. And $900,000 a huge deficit caused simply by a low dip in one weekend’s donations — kinda makes you wonder what the weekly take is. And why the IRS doesn’t consider taxing churches…

In other broke, morally bankrupt rightwing church news, Focus on the Family –which, citing a decrease in donations, laid off employees in 2005, 2006, 2007 twice in 2008 and in September of this year let go another 8% of their staff, a almost 500 people total – -is poised to spend approximately $4 million on a Super Bowl commercial promoting their anti-choice agenda.

A source says the new head of Focus, Jim Daly, spoke at an evangelical conference a few months ago and unveiled the Super Bowl ad plan. Then he begged for donations from like-minded organizations. According to the source, Daly was given about $3 million, and Focus dipped into its general fund for the other $1 million.

Focus on the Family spokesman Gary Schneeberger said of the layoff:

The economic reality out there is recession. Faced with that, we looked at everything we could do to improve structure, strategy and efficiency while carrying out the work we’re called to do — helping families thrive.

But isn’t keeping families employed the best way to help them thrive?

The Super Bowl ad must be approved by CBS and the NFL. In the past both anti-abortion and pro-choice ads have been nixed.

Focus on the Family’s latest budget woes were due in part to spending to defeat civil marriage equality legislation which outstripped donations.

Why do I feel some prayers are being answers as these two bastions of bigotry are having trouble ends meet and are thus being exposed as money-grubbing Mammon-huggers?

Tea Partiers Call for National Strike, Facebookers Strike Back

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The American Tea Party is a calling for a National Strike which if logically extrapolated means boycotting pretty much everything for a whole day and not spending one thin dime: Not turning on any electricity, making a cup of coffee, going to work, watching TV (not even Fox!), showering, or using the phone or intertoobs, since everything we do in this society funds corporations who in turn donate money to both parties, employ people of every partisan stripe–like liburuls and maybe even atheists–and advertise in all media including those “socialist” organs like the New York Times, CNN and MSNBC.

January 20, 2010 we will demonstrate our power and reach to those companies who employ individuals backing the leftist agenda in every major city, every congressional district and every small rural town in America to spread one unified message. That message is simple: Stop funding socialism. When they refuse to stop backing the major opponents of Liberty, liberal media outlets and socialist leaning elected officials, then we proceed to financially cripple them…

We will march on the offices and overwhelm with communication of select primary advertisers to the major media outlets in the nation to demand that they stop funding slanted news and covering up the corruption of politicians in both parties that are destroying our nation. These companies are not misguided or misunderstanding in what they are doing.

This actually sounds like what liberals and progressives in those darned pesky European countries do. Except this is an American strike, not some funny talking bunch of furriners. So far there are

nearly 3,000 people signed up on the facebook page and this Ning.com website with 2,000 more on twitter.

willing to

stop those who would seek to “fundamentally transform this nation” as some on the lunatic left have boasted and are now delivering. So how do you stop someone who has large donors, labor union thugs, Hollywood elites and major media propagating our destruction? You take their advantages away from them.

Wow. I’m really worried! Five thousand angry tea partiers not  spending any money. Except, in order to protest, they’ll have to buy paper and pens for signs beforehand, then buy gas and snacks, put money in parking meters, or take public transportation on the day of–all actions contrary to striking an economic blow…

If this first peaceful strike doesn’t work

we will be back on February 27, 2009 and we will march again against you. The February march will come with a national boycott of all of the companies that do not stop donating to people like Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chris Dodd et al.

Neener.

Now a group on Facebook is countering by urging

If you need to get gas, buy necessities, or go grocery shopping during the week of January 20th, try and do so on January 20th itself. In theory, this small flood of business will help negate any “boycott” that the Teaparties attempt.

And they want to take their protests a step further using the legal means of decorating dollar bills.

Write anti-teaparty slogans in RED INK on dollar bills and use (or otherwise distribute) them that day. Or any and all other days, if you’re so motivated. Black or any other color ink is fine too- it’s just that red ink is the most noticeable.

Contrary to popular belief, writing messages on a dollar bill is NOT A CRIME. It’s only a crime if the intent is to commit fraud by obscuring or altering the bill’s value.

Late Night: Ladies and Gents, Lube Your Pistons! Karl Rove is Single!

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If his attempt to hipsterize his image by appearing on an upcoming episode of Family Guy wasn’t enough of a clue of Karl Rove’s shift into singledom,  his Twitter status should have been the give away today–Karl Rove was soliciting for names and addresses so he could mail out free autographed bookplates…Mmmhmmm, right.

And now all of his fans have his PO box adddress so they can send him salacious semi-nude, draped in the flag photos and invitations to private tea baggings parties, followed by rousing games of Elephant in the Room, a  neo-con version of Truth or Dare-meets-Twister.

Oh shed a tear for family values, for Karl Rove is just like many Americans:  He is divorced. This is Rove’s second divorce; his first marriage, to Houston socialite Valerie Mather Wainwright, ended in 1980. His latest ex-wife–and if Rove is anything like Gingrich, she wont be his last–is Darby Rove, a graphic artist who worked for Karl’s political direct-mail business before they were married in 1986. Their son Andrew is 20, and according to reports in the New York Times they all spent Christmas together.

That’s a healthy model for divorce, but note that by waiting until Andrew was over 18, Karl won’t have to pay child support. Texas is a community property state, meaning that if the parties can’t reach a settlement, everything is split 50/50 by the court. An equal split is not mandatory in a community proprty state; it’s the default. Spousal support is on a case by case basis.

The divorce, granted last week, was kept well below the radar, and Rove’s spokesthing Dana Perino said:

The couple came to the decision mutually and amicably, and they maintain a close relationship and a strong friendship. There will be no further comment, and the family requests that its privacy be respected.

So will Rove be playing the roving bachelor at Rush Limbaugh’s July 4th wedding? I mean if you’re going to be a single conservative, that’s the place to be!  You know how frisky folks can get at a wedding! Will Karl start dating Ann Coulter? Is he secretly sending mash notes to Michele Bachmann or perhaps some other winsome members? Or maybe Bristol Palin is more his fancy….

Karl Rove Gives It Away

A free autographed bookplate. So far this exciting offer has only been retweeted once.

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Palin V Johnston Custody Battle Heats Up: Judge Orders Records Unsealed

crying_babyLet the media frenzy begin!

In a move which will increase hotel and restaurant revenue as journalists descend on Wasilla, Alaska, a  judge has granted Levi Johnston’s request that records in the custody battle over baby Tripp Johnston, former governor Sarah Palin’s only grandchild be unsealed. Another judge has denied Bristol Palin’s request to call the parties John Doe and Jane Doe in court documents. Bristol seeks sole custody and claims that

Levi is not yet mature enough to take on significant parental responsibilities

and requests child support for Tripp, who just turned one year old. She explains that her family provides almost all of the care for Tripp.

The Anchorage Daily News reports that Johnston wanted the records to stay open,

saying in a sworn statement that doing so would help put everyone on best behavior.

Levi stated in his affidavit:

I know that public scrutiny will simplify this matter and act as a check against anyone’s need to be overly vindictive, aggressive or malicious, not that Bristol would ever be that way, nor that I would. But her mother is powerful, politically ambitious and has a reputation for being extremely vindictive. So, I think a public case might go a long way in reducing Sarah Palin’s instinct to attack.

In a cour filing, Levi’s lawyer Rex Butler wrote tha evi feels thinks Sarah Palin, not Bristol, is acting with

sheer malice… He feels Sarah Palin, through her lawyer, under the guise of Bristol Palin’s name, would run roughshod over his very bones.

Smart kid. Bristol’s attorney Thomas Van Flein, who also has represented ex-Gov GILF Sarah Palin, went for the “they are famous” line of reasoning, citing the sealed records in custody cases involving Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger and Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

This is a routine matter, but the parties’ respective celebrity status mandates the protection of the baby … whose privacy interests should be protected until and unless one day the child decides otherwise

Guess celebrity status doesn’t count for much in Alaska. Oh and Bristol Palin says her mommy would never be mean or vindictive, and anyway Levi is  just doing this for publicity since she “believes” has a reality show that will begin filming soon in Alaska.

Which he needs to do to pay child support–duh.  And Bristol, “believing” isn’t the same as having signed contracts, so for now Levi’s reality show and the Easter bunny are both  in the same sphere of existence.

If Bristol is so worried about Tripp and a so far not-really-happening reality show, she can get a court order preventing Tripp from being filmed by the imaginary cameras.

World Briefly Distracted, Then Pwnd by “Nudes with JFK” Picture

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Earlier today TMZ was all aglow as founder Harvey Levin hit the teevee screens to beam about a picture which could have changed world history, a purported candid of JFK aboard a yacht surrounded by nude women, allegedly taken in 1956 while wife Jackie was rushed to the hospital to undergo a C-section that resulted in  still born infant.

But now, sadly TMZ reports, it turns out–despite all the efforts of experts claiming the photo to be real–the scandalous snap is actually an outtake from a Playboy shoot taken a decade later.

Never mind no one asked how the alleged JFK picture could have gotten taken in the first place. Or stayed hidden for so long!

Bono Busks for Charity

Grafton Street in Dublin is a cobblestone walk in he city center with some of the fanciest and funkiest stores in the capital, and lively street culture featuring everyone from opera singers and folkies performing for spare change. On Christmas Eve shoppers got a rare thrill–BONO joined songwriters Damien Rice,  Mundy and Glen Hansard to busk for the Dublin Simon Community which benefits the homeless.

U2 will will be benefiting their country in other ways. New legislation which just passed makes a set tax mandatory for Irish citizens domiciled elsewhere with significant assets in Ireland.  The bands members, like many wealthy have been living outside Ireland as tax exiles.

Nine Dead as Iran Protests Increase

Twitter #iranelection

Twitter #iranelection, posted by 1itnevis

The Guardian UK reports that the nephew of Iranian reformist opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi is among nine people killed in violent clashes between protesters and security forces Tehran and other cities. The protests began as part of Ashura, the Shia religious ceremonies marking the 7th-century death of the Prophet Muhammad’s grandson, Imam Hossein, and were combined by the pro-democracy protesters

with the ritual seven-day mourning ceremonies for [opposition leader] Montazeri, who had repeatedly criticised the government and denounced President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s re-election last summer as invalid.

Ashura ceremonies commonly feature vast crowds of people marching and beating their chests in memory of Imam Hossein, who is seen as a martyr against oppressive government. This year the opposition pledged to use the holy day to voice continued opposition to the government….

In response, there have been violent street battles between demonstrators and government forces, which are being documented on Twitter via #iran, #iranelection and @Iran_ALLDAY.

The Guardian points out:

The authorities are taking a risk in using lethal force against protesters during the Islamic month of Moharram, during which war and bloodshed is deemed to be religiously haram, or forbidden. It raises the likelihood of a series of mourning cycles, as required by Shia tradition. It was such a mourning cycle that fatally undermined the Shah’s regime when it tried to suppress demonstrations in 1978.

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