Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack:

This really isn’t swine flu. It’s H1N1 virus. We want to say to consumers here and abroad that there is no risk to you, there is no scientific evidence whatsoever that there is any link between consuming pork, prepared pork products, and the H1N1 virus.

Yet pork prices are dropping–um, bacon on sale!–because some people, like Paris Hilton, just don’t, like pay attentio to the news and stuff.

When asked about swine flu, the celebutant responded:

I don’t eat that.