O’Reilly Doesn’t Like Dick, Plus More Astounding Revelations!

Lisa Derrick Wednesday April 1, 2009 2:28 pm

Bill O’Reilly continued his PR putsch last night on Late Night with David Letterman in a three-segment billopalooza. It starts off kind of slow in part one, the high point–aside from Dave calling Billo "a goon" to his face–being O’Reilly taking credit for Rush Limbaugh’s through-the-roof ratings, with a couple of added guffaws over O’Reilly suffering for his art because he’s boycotting Sean Penn movies (oh, and FYI, Billo won’t be going to Spain, either, until Spanish president Zapatero condemns that country’s desire to prosecute Alberto Gonzales, Douglas Feith, and John Yoo for war crimes), but stick around after the commercial, ’cause we’ll be right back with more Billarity!

Part two has Loofahman informing the nation that we have won the war in Iraq (mission accomplished, w00t!). . . though he doesn’t think we should have been there in the first place (an about face from his views in 2005, but hey, a man’s opinion can change and evolve). And yes, that’s when Bill admits he doesn’t like Dick.

Cheney, that is.

O’Reilly: I don’t have much use for the vice president.

Letterman: You don’t like Dick?

O’Reilly: I don’t. I don’t like the way he handled the whole situation. He wouldn’t come on my program. I asked him a million times and he wouldn’t.

Poor Bill, spurned again.

And finally, in part three, Letterman mentions the NSFW O’Reilly remix, which Billo doesn’t want you to see, so how could we resist? (warning: Bill uses the F-word. A lot.)

newtonusr | Wednesday April 1, 2009 02:56 pm 1

Let Billo Talk. Every time he opens his pie-hole, he describes the best the Republicans have to offer. And I am just fine with that.

And this post is Dugg right here!

Hey Lisa!

RepackRider | Wednesday April 1, 2009 06:57 pm 2

Bill hates Dick because when Bill asked Dick to whip him and sodomize him with a falafel, he waterboarded him instead, then shot him in the face.

Japandrew | Wednesday April 1, 2009 06:57 pm 3

Thanks for the update, Lisa. For those us wondering whether to go for the cure, knowing Bill doesn’t like dick may tip the scales! Good to know it’s safe to stay gay.

Larue | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:13 pm 4

Mz. Derrick, sometimes we don’t hafta watch, when we know what the routine and ending will be.

Ya know?

It only adds to their resume that we did. ;-)

Teddy Partridge | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:16 pm 5

Dave sure did talk a lot about Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, considering neither of them were on the program.

ORally no likee.

Blub | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:19 pm 6

I can never understand why people (term used broadly) voluntarily choose to go on national TV knowing that they’re going to be annihilated. I mean I can see why someone like Grayson, trying to get support for a bill, or candidate Palin, trying to get elected, might risk it for the exposure and the chance to deliver their pitch to a broader audience, but O’Really had no such agenda here… and he must’ve known what Letterman would do to him.

ShotoJamf | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:22 pm 7

Christian Bale vs. Bill O’Reilly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbz6-7c_7Hk

Teddy Partridge | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:23 pm 8

In response to Blub @ 6

I think Orally is a hero to his audience for standing up to Dave on his own show. Dave is part of the eastern lib establishment, one who made relentless fun of W throughout his presidency.

This is Orally being brave. And clearly there were taboo subjects: Jesse’s stalking of Amanda, Keith Olbermann, Rupert Murdoch.

Blub | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:28 pm 9

In response to Teddy Partridge @ 8

perhaps. I’d think, though, that O’Really wouldn’t have minded a chance to say or do something unpleasant
on the subject of KO, even if it was just to say, “I refuse to talk about that frack” ;P

I think these people are all insane.

ratcityreprobate | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:33 pm 10

Hearing that Billo will not be visiting them, the King of Spain, the Prime Minister and the Archbishop of Madrid in a rare show of unity called for a National Day of Thanksgiving.

ratfood | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:33 pm 11

No bad publicity, in their view a little mock conflict benefits both of them.

ratfood | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:35 pm 12

In response to ratcityreprobate @ 10

Spain experiences a palpable sense of relief at the knowledge that their garbanzo beans will remain unsullied.

Blub | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:46 pm 13

does O’Really actually travel abroad? I can’t imagine that he would make a good guest or tourist anywhere beyond Bermuda and the Caymans.

ShotoJamf | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:51 pm 14

In response to ratfood @ 12

I’m guessing Spain is really fearful that the Billo Boycott will seriously damage the Spanish economy. Tragic.

ratfood | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:54 pm 15

In response to ShotoJamf @ 14

As long as we have casinos and pro wrestling in this country none of our foreign friends need worry about O’Reilly viewers landing on their soil.

ShotoJamf | Wednesday April 1, 2009 07:57 pm 16

In response to ratfood @ 15

Good point.

sangemon | Wednesday April 1, 2009 10:06 pm 17

He’s a very sick man.

anwaya | Wednesday April 1, 2009 10:13 pm 18

“Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!”

Thank you for that, Mr. Shaffer. Very well said.