NBC thinks PETA’s Superbowl ad was just too steamy. The network said the commercial

depicts a level of sexuality exceeding our standards

NBC wanted edits made on the following objectionable shots:

* licking pumpkin

* touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli

* pumpkin from behind between legs

* rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin

* screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)

* asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina

* licking eggplant

* rubbing asparagus on breast

PETA is seems thrilled with the PR…

A judge declared a mistrial when the defendant in a San Diego kidnapping and assault case smeared excrement on his lawyer’s face and threw it at jurors.

Weusi McGowan smuggled a bag of feces into court and spread it on his public defender’s face before flinging the poo at the jurors, none of whom was hit.

The judge raised McGowan’s bail from $250,000 to $1 million after the Monday incident.
 

A California appeals court ruled Monday that a Christian school could expel students perceived as gay. California Lutheran High School in Riverside County–part of the extremely fundamental Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod–expelled 

two 16-year-old girls for having "a bond of intimacy" that was "characteristic of a lesbian relationship."

The court ruled that because the private religious school was not a business it did not have to comply with a state law that prohibits businesses from discriminating.

The girls had been reported to the teacher by another student in 2005 for saying they loved each other; a search by the school on their MySpace pages revealed one girl described herself as bi-sexual and the other listed "not sure"as her sexual orientation.

John McKay, who represented the Riverside County-based California Lutheran High School said

that the school’s purpose was to "teach Christian values in a Christian setting pursuant to a Christian code of conduct."

McKay said the girls, then juniors, were expelled for

conducting themselves in a manner consistent with being lesbians.

The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod believes homosexuality is a sin and the school’s "Christian conduct" code said students could be expelled for engaging in immoral or scandalous contact, on or off campus. 

The girls sued, contending the school had violated a state anti-discrimination law; however  Justice Betty A. Richli wrote:

The school’s religious message is inextricably intertwined with its secular functions. The whole purpose of sending one’s child to a religious school is to ensure that he or she learns even secular subjects within a religious framework.

 The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod rejects

any thought that makes only part of Scripture God’s Word or that allows for the possibility of factual error in Scripture, even in so-called nonreligious matters such as historical or geographical details. We likewise reject all views that say Scripture is merely a human record of God’s revelation as he encounters mankind in history, and so is a record subject to human imperfections.

which means man and dinosaurs lived together; Noah’s Ark held two of each species (and all the food for them); and Lot’s wife really did turn into a pillar of salt. Etc.

A pair of red, Naughty Monkey Double-Dare pumps allegedly worn by Sarah Palin during her stump for vice-president sold on an EBay auction for $2,025. They were not part of the Palin’s campaign clothing windfall currently languishing in trashbags at RNC headquarters, according to the seller, who claims to Gov GILF’s niece. Rather Alaska’s Frost Lady bought them herself at a store in Juneau; the peep-toe pumps retail for as much as $89.99 on Amazon.

Gift with purchase: A collection of  autographed pictures and a Sharpie used by Palin. As part of the purchase agreement, the former vice-presidential candidate is supposed to autograph the footwear.

Says Modi Frank–who runs Giving Engine, which manages auctions for non-profits and schools using EBay as a platform:

If this is indication of the vaue of her clothing, then the RNC should definitely begin auctioning off her clothes for charity, since charities are really hurting in this economy, and it would be a wonderful cause-marketing for Palin as well.

No word if the ruby colored faux-alligator shoes can control flying monkeys, or what the buyer, whose name was not revealed plans to do with them.

Oooh, Gov GILF’s got it goin’ on for 2012. 

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Mmmm, I think instead I’ll donate to the python-spirits…they are much more cuddly!

Drew Peterson is my arch-enemy.

Geraldo had scheduled an interview with Blago for today at the Fox studios, but after prepping for four days, got email from Selig  saying it was cancelled, that it had been tentative all along. So Geraldo hopped in a van with his camera crew and caught up with the greasy gov in the The View parking lot as Cuckoo was flying the coop. Hilarity ensues.

 Check out the use of language by both guys including "kangaroo court" and "double murdering." Hot.

Meanwhile Oprah graciously responded to Blago’s illin’ noise that she was under consideration to replace Obama as senator, telling pall Gayle King on the latter’s radio show:

If I had been watching as I normally watch from the treadmill, I probably would have fallen off the treadmill. I’m pretty amused by the whole thing…I think I could be senator, too. I’m just not interested.

Lannis Waters/The Post

While a pair of teen-aged trustifarians in Palm Beach were performing parent-sanctioned toilet-papering of Bernie Madoff’s multi-million dollar home because their trust funds were lost in his Ponzi schemes (wow, cool mom–she even confirmed the story with the Palm Beach Post!), cop slapping, 92 year-old Hungarian pepperpot Zsa Zsa Gabor came to the shocking conclusion dahlink, that Bernie ripped her off for $10 million via a money manager.

Okay, granted the person delivering the figure is Zsa Zsa’s crazy husband Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the zany toffer who claimed at one point he was the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter and was writing about about their supposed affair. He became most recently (in)famous for claiming that

he was  forced off the road, robbed, stripped naked and left handcuffed to his Rolls Royce on a lonely section of road in the Hollywood Hills. Even though the prince had no one to shout to for help–and no watch, money or clothes on his person–fortunately his cell phone had fallen to the floor of the car under the front seat and he was able to dial 911.

Zsa Zsa & Prince, pre-Madoff

The 65 year-old prince told the National Enquirer:

We might be forced to sell our Bel-Air home, cars, artwork and even our jewellery because of this sick man..We’re mad as hell and we want our money back. This scam artist should be dragged through the streets and flogged!..I feel really bad, because Zsa Zsa shouldn’t have to worry about the financial mess I’ve gotten us into. We are taking legal action to recoup some of the money. I’m going to have to make back that money somehow or we’re going to face financial ruin.

Hope the forensic accountant hired by the couple’s attorney gets to the bottom of this.

Because nothing says crisis control like hiring the same public relations firm used by former Bolingbrook police sergeant Drew Peterson, who is suspected in the disappearance of his fourth wife and whose third wife died suspiciously in a bathtub.

Though Lightnin’ Rod Blagojevich has hired The Publicity Agency for

his dealings with the news media that are outside the scope of his job as governor

a Blago spokesperson  was unaware of the new addition to the governor’s team. Blago’s impeachment trial began today while he was taping Good Morning America, and continued during his appearance on The View.

Claiming that he is being targeting by the Illinois legislature because of his health car and public transportation reforms,  Blago says he is taking is case to the American people, and that he’s not participating in the impeachment trial because in order to do so he would have to admit he is guilty before being able to present evidence ot the contrary.

At least I think that’s what he’s saying.

Blago explained his logic about deciding upon the talk show host/aspirational icon as a replacement for Obama:

She seemed to be someone who had helped Barack Obama in a significant way to become president. She had a much broader bully pulpit than a lot of senators.

Blagojevich–who has already conceded that he will probably be convicted of corruption charges–is refusing to resign or to attend the trial to defend himself "because the fix is in." And because his haircare products have seeped into his brain. 

Instead he’ll be whistling loony toons on The View, the Today Show and Larry King, painting himself as Ghandi,  MLK, Nelson Mandela, a cowboy, Little Lord Fauntelroy, Bonnie Prince Charlie…It’s a rush to judgement! And this is all just a nefarious plot to oust him in order to raise taxes!

 Blago told Sawyer he didn’t offer Oprah the senatorial gig because

she probably wouldn’t take it, and then if you offered it to her, how would you do it in a way it wasn’t a gimmick to embarass her.

Yeah, and she might not want to pay for it either.  

Slumdog Millionaire–which won the Golden Globe and Producers’ Guild Award for best picture–scored again last night with the Screen Actors Guild’s award for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture.

Shot in Mumbai, the film tells the story of a teenage orphan from the slums who becomes the biggest winner ever on India’s version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and through his struggles, highlights class differences, social inequalities and the ability of the individual to overcome horrible circumstances.

Sean Penn was awarded the Actor for Outstanding Performance by a Lead Actor-Male for his portrayal of the slain civil rights leader Harvey Milk in Milk.  Penn began his speech with little levity before getting serious:

Thank you and good evening, comrades. That was for (Bill) O’Reilly. As actors, we don’t play gay, straight. We don’t play any of these kinds of people. We play human beings, and this movie is something that we’re, all of us involved, are so proud of. This is a story about equal rights for all human beings.

With such endorsements (and the extra bonus of Carrie Fisher and Colleen Camp’s Milk party Friday night which had more than a few Academy members as guests), it looks like a straight shot for Slumdog and Penn, and also for Heath Ledger who earlier captured the posthumous Golden Globe and last night the SAG award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role.  As with  the Golden Globes, Kate Winslett won Female Actor in a Supporting Role for her part of an  incredibly sexy, erudite and literate concentration camp guard in The Reader.

During the ceremony there was just one reference to the issues surrounding a possible SAG strike. In her acceptance speech for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series, after thanking her daughter, Tina Fey made reference to a point in the contract dispute, payment for work shown online:

Someday she’ll be old enough to watch 30 Rock reruns on the Internet and understand where Mom was going at 6:30 a.m. every day, for all that time. And she’ll look at me and say: ‘What do you mean you don’t get residuals for this?’

However the guild’s behind the scenes struggle between pro-and anti-strike forces cast an ugly shadow during the voting period when an anonymous e-mail was forwarded around by (pro-strike) board member Frances Fisher suggesting that guild voters ought to purposefully vote against nominated actors who publicly supported anti-strike authorization movement–in order to punish them!

Those named to be treated thusly included Michael C. Hall, Tony Shaloub, Josh Brolin, Susan Sarandon, Sally Field, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Spacey and Steve Carell. Frances Fisher apologized, after being called on the carpet by past guild president Richard Masur who rightly likened the offensive proposal to a blacklist.

Tony Shaloub, who was bested by fellow anti-strike supporter Alec Baldwin in their incredibly long titled category admitted he was “stung, initially”  by the email and offered up this ideal on the red carpet:

It just seemed like, especially in terms of the awards, it shouldn’t be about politics at all.

Well, maybe not internal SAG politics, but from Milk and Slumdog‘s continuing winning streaks, the awards seem to be about progressive change and uplifting values, the best outcome of politics.