Have another pretzel, dear

Oh those sleepless nights when the sheep have stopped jumping over the fence, when hot milk, herbs, homeopathics and perhaps even the discreet Ambien refuse to knock me out. I stare at infomercials and the same cycle of news–but now there is hope! Laura Bush’s memoir of her life and her years in the White House is in the works.

Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed–that would be unladylike–but her publisher, Scribner said in its announcement that the memoir would offer:

an intimate account of Mrs. Bush’s life experiences

which hopefully won’t be a recounting of her first kiss from W. I want to doze off not have nightmares.

 In the release, Laura Bush promised that she would tell:

the stories of the extraordinary events and people I’ve met in my life, particularly during my years in the White House.

Expect some riveting Barney tales and perhaps a discussion of what was served at a state dinner. There is part of me that hopes her mask cracks and the luckiest librarian goes off on everyone and everything that ever pissed her off: Her real felings about Condi, Cheney, the twins’ bad behavior, Tony Blair, having to sneak smokes whenever she can… But then how would I fall asleep?