Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow: Another Blago Job Offer

We reported that within hours of his impeachment, former Illinois governor Lightnin’ Rod Blagojevich was offered a show on reality TV by the same guy who brought us Shooting Sizemore. But actually D.L .Hughley has first dibs on Illin’ Noise and his "football," which is really a dumb nickname for his hairbush.

While Blago was making the talk show rounds this week instead of attending his impeachment hearing, he dropped in on D.L. Hughley’s CNN talk show, D.L. Hughey Breaks the News where the host D. L. Hughley who drinks out of an "I *Heart* Blagojevich"  mug made this offer:

We’re not gonna give up either, and if I don’t work out there I promise you can always come work with me. You can be my correspondent… 

The show airs tonight.

Roseanne Barr: Springsteen Should Turn Super Bowl into Protest


Roseanne Barr wants Israel to stop bombing Gaza. And the US to stop bombing Pakistan. Here’s her latest idea to get the point across, posted on her blog:

The Boss oughta demand during his half-time appearance this Sunday that Obama stop bombing Pakistan (which even President Karzai of Afghanistan has requested) and stop funding the Israeli war machine!

Actually I’d rather have the Boss use his performance to show support of the Employees’ Free Choice Act, which might go a long way toward offsetting his fans digruntled feeling over his  exclusive deal with Wal-Mart–the one he says he now sorry about.

Springsteen: “Wal-Mart Deal a Mistake”

Bruce Springsteen’s latest greatest hits package showed up exclusively in Wal-Mart this week, and now the Boss is admitting the deal was “a mistake.” Wal-Mart has wretched labor practices at home and abroad, the Boss has always supported labor–that’s a pretty big “mistake. So what happened?

In an interview with the New York Times out tomorrow–just  in time for his Super Bowl show–the singer, a longtime union advocate offers this mea culpa:

We were in the middle of doing a lot of things, it kind of came down and, really, we didn’t vet it the way we usually do. We just dropped the ball on it.. given its [Wal-Mart's] labor history, it was something that if we’d thought about it a little longer, we’d have done something different. It was a mistake. Our batting average is usually very good, but we missed that one. Fans will call you on that stuff, as it should be.

How you could not know in an instant Wal-Mart’s labor history? And maintaining a client’s ethos and ethical foundation/image by vetting deals is sort of important for the “team.”

But John Landau, Springsteen’s manager told Billboard:

I know these discussions happen online and elsewhere, and I don’t want to get bogged down in them, but let’s start with the premise that Bruce is already in Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has been 15% of our sales in recent years. It’s not a question of going into Wal-Mart; we’re there. They, and other retailers, are all looking for some way to differentiate themselves, and we try to accommodate each one.

Landau continues to juggle the ball he dropped:

We’re not doing any advertising for Wal-Mart. We haven’t endorsed Wal-Mart or anybody else. We’re letting Sony do its job making sure the record is well-presented in as many places as possible..

How exactly does an exclusive deal with Wal-Mart present the record in “as may places as possible”? According to entertainment attorney Helen Yu, who represents a number of platinum selling and Grammy-award winning artists:

Usually in an exclusive deal, the retailer buys a certain number of records up front, with no returns. It’s a guaranteed sale.

So Springsteen’s record label, his team and The Boss himself have managed to insure they will be paid, no matter what, whther the greatest hits package is actually bought by fans or not.

Wal-Mart, which opposes the Employee Free Choice Act has this to say about their employment record:

We are proud of the good jobs, benefits and career opportunities we provide to more than 1.4 million U.S. associates who choose to work at Wal-Mart and serve our customers every day.

Charles Cross, author of Backstreets: Springsteen, The Man and his Music told MSNBC:

Doing a deal with Wal-Mart goes against his principles that he has said he has stood for.

But then the music industry is just that, a business, and people are in it to make money. Even the Boss.

Austin, TX Zombie Alert

While former president George Bush’s new house is in Dallas, folks in Austin–195 miles away–were so concerned about zombies that roadside alerts went up.

Austin residents were surprised to construction signs warning them:

Zombies In Area! Run

The signs are not owned by the city of Austin, but rather leased from the construction contractor. However the city is responsible for the messages. The padlocks on the two signs appeared to have been cut and the password protected computers hacked in order to create the anti-zombie warnings. Austin Public Works spokesperson Sara Hartley said:

Even though this may seem amusing to a lot of people, this is really serious, and it is a crime. And you can be indicted for it, and we want to make sure our traffic on the roadways stays safe…The big problem is public safety. Those signs are out there to help our traffic on the roadway to stay safe and to know what’s coming up.

There are  several online sites that teach people how to break into these construction signs, plus a book and numerous instructional videos that inform the public how to deal with zombies.

Blago: Your Future Reality Is Calling!

blago2.thumbnail.jpgNow that the Illinois state senate voted unanimously to remove Blagojevich from office, and he can never  work in his state’s government again, poor Lightning Rod is massively out of a gig–even though technically he could run for president (facepalm.jpg)

Wednesday night before he appeared at his hearing, the elaborately coiffed deal-maker told Greta van Susteren:

Yes, I thought I might want to get my old job as a pizza driver back, but I don’t even have a car. So you know, I’ll figure that out.

However, the Illin’ Noise may want to set his sites on Hollywood. Says Terence Michael, Creator/Executive Producer of VH1′s Shooting Sizemore and Showtime’s I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single:

Blagojevich would be perfect for reality TV.   Everyone knows him.  He’s fallen from his throne. He needs a job.  And he’s someone you either love to hate, or want to see right his wrongs.

Actress and reality show star Cat Noel, who appeared on one of Wife Swap‘s most popular episodes, has this advice:

You’ve exposed so much of your life already, why don’t you just go all the way?

patr1.thumbnail.jpgWith his potty-mouth wife Patty and two adorable daughters, Blago is perfect for reality TV, though producers would have to definitely bleep a lot of the adjectives and a few of the verbs.  Despite that caveat, Michaels is enthusiastic:

Now that Blagojevich is looking for a job, he needs to call me asap.  I can get him paid legally to star in his own reality show.  But he has to star in it once he agrees.  He can’t sell his spot to someone else.

Federal Judge: Names of Prop. 8 Donors Must Be Public

images-4.thumbnail.jpgU.S. District Judge Morrison C. England Jr. denied an attempt by Yes on 8 supporters to withhold disclosure of campaign donors to the state’s same-sex marriage ban. Yes on 8 campaign officials said hundreds of people have alleged harassment, intimidation or threats.

Attempts were made by Yes on 8 to blackmail No on 8 donors  but No on 8 campaigners didn’t go bawwwing about it to the courts. Instead they stood fast, supporting California’s Political Reform Act, approved by voters in 1974, which requires disclosure of the name, occupation and employer of anyone contributing $100 or more to campaigns.

Attorneys for Proposition 8 argued that First Amendment rights to be free from retaliation outweigh the state’s interest in disclosure.  But the judge disagreed:

The court finds that the state is not facilitating retaliation by compelling disclosure.

Blago Convicted, Despite His Blatherings At Hearing

(Update: added the actual vote video at the bottom) 

Finally he materializes after taking his case to the American people via talk shows. And what does Lightnin’ Rod Blagojevich have to say for himself before being unanimously bi-partisanly convicted?

You heard those four tapes, I dont have to tell you what they say. You guys are in politics, you know what we have to do to do go out and run and run elections…You can express things in a free country but those four tapes speak for themselves. Take those four tapes as they are, and you, I believe in fairness, you will recognize and acknowledge these are conversations relating to the things that  all of us in politics do in order to run campaigns and win elections.

He also wants to know how he can be thrown out of office and pleads to bring in witnesses.

Illin’ Noise then brings up how he gave health care to low income families and how John Warner, who "had been married to Liz Taylor" asked him, then a junior congressman, to get him a cup of coffee.  He brings up flu vaccines. And how he found a way to get senior citizens into Canada to get low cost drugs, an idea he says that Rahm Emanuel originally proposed.

There hasn’t been a single piece of information that proves any wrong doing you havent proved a crime..a crime has not been proven…No evidence, zero. 

He hopes out of conflict, issues are resolved and says

always the means were legal and the most cases end were moral.

Then he brings up his immigrant father and working mom, uses "ain’t" for folksy emphasis, discusses a hard working mom, and his impatience with legislative gridlock. He urges his fellow legislators to

Charge it to my heart.

And asks

 is the right precedent to set, to throw a governor twice elected by the people out of office without  proving any wrong doing?

And yes, he says "rush to judgment" and says if he actually believes he had done something he would have resigned in December. And he demands to bring in his witnesses, concluding with:

It’s not about me…it’s about the people of Illinois…It is painful. It is lonely…I didn’t do anything wrong.

It Stinks! Cheese Fiends Blue Over Roquefort Duty

cheese-roquefort2.thumbnail.jpgOf all the stinkin’ taxes that lame duck Bush stuck us with, this one is pretty cheesy: A 300% retaliatory duty on Roquefort because the European Union banned  imports of U.S. beef containing hormones. While Roquefort wasn’t the only European taste treat slapped with a duty–you’ll see a rise in the price of Irish oatmeal, Italian sparkling water, truffles and fatty goose and duck livers, i.e. fois gras–the cheese stands alone with a 300% duty.

Roquefort is made in the eponymous wee area of France where sheep graze in a carefully proscribed 2100 acre oval. The cheese is made from unpasterized ewe’s milk and reaches its blue veined funkiness in limestone caves that run throughout the area, including under the town of Roquefort’s main street. Only cheese made there in the centuries old way can carry the AOC (appelation d’origine controlee)–and the extreme mark-up courtesy of Bush. But then if you’ve watched those old Western movies, you know how much cattle ranchers like Bush dislike sheep ranchers so this goes deeper that hormonal cows and freedom fries…

Currently you can find AOC Roquefort online in prices ranging from $28 to $35/lb., with a whole wheel selling for $150, though these cheeses seem to have arrived before Bush’s meanspirited pen stroke. The cheese holds up best with red wine (though some prefer it with sauternes) and can be served with a nutty bread, quince jam, figs and other fruit.It goes well of grilled meats and crumbled on salads–both fruity or savory–and mashed or baked potatoes.

Last week a delegation of Roquefort’s elected officials went to the U.S. Embassy in Paris to present their case, hopeful that soon the tariffs will be lifted on the 450 tons of stinky wonder they export to the US–which considering they produce 19,000 tons annually and only a fifth of that ever leaves the country isn’t really that much (Spain imports 1,100 tons annually, making them the largest importer).

But Bush–ever the bully–in order to pick on a uniquely French symbol, chose one of the smallest in order to flex his cowpoke muscle.

Growth of Democracy a Shoe-in for Iraq

alg_bronzeshoe.thumbnail.jpgShoe-throwing Iraq journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi who lobbed his loafers at lame duck Bush has been immortalized with sofa-sized copper and fiberglass statue of the shoe inscribed with poem in his honor.

 The statue was unveiled Thursday in Tikrit, the hometown of the former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. Meanwhile al-Zeidi remains in custody, though his trial has been delayed, because–speculate some–regional elections are coming up and U.S.-backed Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki  who has condemned Zaidi’s actions reportedly he does not want to alienate Zaidi’s supporters.

Palin Says PAC Can Help With Her Travel Plans

sarah_palin_1013774c.thumbnail.jpgJust because she has a PAC and her Naughty Monkey Double Dares sold for over two grand doesn’t mean she’ll be running for president, says Sarah Palin.

No, not at all, not at all, no. It’s helpful to have a PAC so that when I’m invited to things even like to speak at the Lincoln Day dinner in Fairbanks, to have a PAC pay for that instead of have the state pay for that because that could be considered quasi-political. 

See, poor little Sarah doesn’t have funds like other governors and wants to change that:

Other governors in the past they all had a fund to be able to travel for things like that. I do not. But now we’ll have an available source of funds so that we’re not coming close to any ethical line to be crossed in terms of travel or participation in events that will help Alaska but could be seen perhaps as not worthy of state funding.

Ethical lines like oh say $180,000 worth of clothing for you and and your family, including silk boxers for the First Dude?

Here’s why Alaska’s Frost Lady will be traveling  to DC this weekend:

Yeah, I’m going to meet with those who are making decisions for Alaska in the stimulus package, including … Mitch McConnell and others, having dinner with them. Advocating tough too for an exemption that Alaska needs in terms of timelines for some of these shovel-ready projects…Well we’re Alaska, and we need an exemption there so that we’re not left out in the cold in terms of some of the projects that will take a northern climate a longer period of time to make sure that we have our projects ready to go.

And she does manage to get a swipe in at other govs:

Look at what Arnold Schwarzenegger, for instance, is doing right now, he and (Pennsylvania Gov. Edward) Rendell and others who are traveling around the nation as proponents of their infrastructure package…We’re and I say this with all due respect, we’re a little bit more parochial here, which is good, it keeps you grounded. We want to make sure that our elected officials are serving the people who literally have elected them.

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